February 1 Embracing the Circle of Life

February 1. A new month. A new beginning. I woke up this morning with a heavy heart. Knowing my husband and his family are saying goodbye to the patriarch of their family. Sending him off to the next life.  Sad that my children and I are not there to honour Austin Duffy but grateful that my husband and his brother are there by their mother’s side to bid adieu to the man that co created them with their mother.Giving her the support she needs. Her two men by her side as she says goodbye to her man of sixty plus years.

Sending my husband the most loving and positive energy I can so he can deliver his dad’s eulogy with as much love, compassion and dignity as he can at a time when his heart is heavy. Asking the Universe to bless my mother-in-law so she can continue on and embrace this new phase of her life. Allowing her to open to whatever it is she remains on this Earth plain to do.

I ask that my father in law journeys onto the next life without fear. Without apprehension. That he too is blessed. Allowing him to take that cruise around the world in his ethereal and eternal form. And then I closed my eyes surrendering to all that is. Inhaling the present moment. Exhaling all that no longer serves me.

After I came out of my meditative state, I stood at the window listening to the howling wind. Watching the trees bending violently in the wind. Listening  to the sound of the rain beating against the ground. The result of a brewing storm.

I stared at the dark sky filled with red ominous hues. Signalling the weather may not be great for us here today in Bermuda . Apprehension snaking through me as the mood of the day seemed threatening. Frightening me at first. But then I breathed in the infinite energy of the Universe freeing me from the apprehension and heaviness.  Releasing all the fear and concern. And then I thought again about my husband and his family who as I am typing are sending off their father and I felt the Circle of Life flow through me.

Releasing me from the limitations of my human experience as a physical being allowing me to embrace the possibility of the Infinite Power. Knowing I am as much a part of the Infinite Power as the Infinite Power itself.

Allowing me to join in with the ceremony of endings occurring in Gateshead, England with my father-in-law, my mother-in-law, my husband, my husband’s brother and the extended Duffy and Barrett families despite being thousands of miles away. Knowing that spirit connects us wherever we are. No matter how far because as there is an ending, there is always a beginning. Infinite beings sharing an infinite experience.

The ominous red sky this morning. The howling of the wind. The beating of the rain. The ending of Austin Duffy as we knew him in his physical form. All coming together to show that life and death are as synonymous as morning and night, darkness and light, storms and calm, beginning and endings.

The rain is pouring down now washing away the sorrow and pain. Cleansing me of the fear of the unknown. The red sky like the blood that courses through our bodies to feed our cells keeping us alive. The wind howling to push away the darkness. Awakening me to the force of life that flows through us all wherever we are. Whoever we are. Now and forevermore. Amen.

Fly Austin. Fly. Or cruise whichever one suits you best. We love you. See you in the next life. Namaste

Harnessing the shift

There is definitely a shift in consciousness occurring right now. People of like mind are being drawn to each other. Swirling and whirling in the energy that is trying to manifest itself again. An old energy full of collaboration, love, compassion and empathy. An old energy that we forgot about in our quest for material and physical gain. Now that energy is making a resurgence because many of us are looking for the more ethereal, aesthetic, inexplicable feelings that come from that old energy. So we are attracting it back. Inviting it back. Calling for its return. And it is here now. I feel it more than ever. Do you?

I believe we are summoning this energy back because we recognize the way we are living now is not sustainable. Our physical and mental beings are exhausted by the pretense. The false and destructive way of living in the past is wearing us down. Creating so much heavy and oppressive energy that is manifesting in dark and ugly deeds and thoughts. And we are tired. So tired. We are being drawn like bees back to the hive. Back to the One Source. The Original Source. We are being asked to question and explain the unexplained.  To accept that sometimes there is no explanation. Except to listen to that voice in our heads leading us back to the place we need to be.

I feel it every single day. That I don’t want to compete. I don’t want to destroy. I don’t want to have one up over another. What I want now is to understand why one acts the way they do. Why I react in some situations the way I do. I am questioning when something happens why it happens rather than getting angry because it happens. I am trying to stop and think before reacting.

I am also examining the reason why people are coming into my life. Not dismissing anyone regardless of how invaded I may feel by their presence. Accepting the more emotive I feel about the presence of someone or something in my life, it is because I am being given the opportunity to learn the greatest lesson about myself. And to provide them with a lesson about themselves as well.

Because I am so open, people and situations I have not seen or thought about for a while are coming to me. Without me asking. Without me knowing why but what I am finding is when I put my guard down. Shoo away all the pretense and just be as open and as welcoming as I possibly can, I usually end up dealing with the person or situation from a place of deep understanding. Of deep compassion. Of deep love. And of deep empathy. Of deep respect. No judgment. No fear. No condemnation. And then I walk away feeling better knowing I was as honest with that person as I could ever be with myself. A gift in itself.

Touching that person or situation in such a way that allowed growth for each one of us. There is a definite shift in consciousness right now brought about by our need to feel we are a part of something much bigger than who we are and what we are physically. Driven by the need to feel we are contributors to our space. To our existence. To life itself. Not just takers. 

So I am learning not to shut the door too quickly on anyone or anything because they may be the answer I am seeking. My angel in disguise. Because I believe there is a definite shift in consciousness happening right now and I want to harness it as best I can to be the best I can be. Present in the moment. With love, compassion, empathy and understanding. Namaste.

A prayer for the pain, loss and endings

With pain comes healing

With loss, freedom

With endings, beginning

Sometimes we don’t know why

We are in the place we are

Sometimes we can’t understand

Why us

How we got to where we are

How dreams have been shattered

How lives,

How loves

How longings

Have been lost

Sometimes we are not meant to understand it all

Anything

Everything

Nothing

Sometimes we just have to let go

Surrender

Believe

Have faith

Particularly when there is pain

Particularly when there is loss

Particularly when things have ended

Sometimes just taking one step

Putting one foot in front of the other

Will

 Set us anew

Free us

From the pain

From loss

From endings

To discover

The healing

Freedom

Beginnings

Particularly when we discover our story is not ours to keep

That sometimes it’s for everyone

Not to be held

Not to be hidden

Not to be ashamed of

Because sometimes our story is a universal one

Set free

For all to see

For all to understand

We are all the same

All from the One

The mighty One Source

That weaves us all together

Piecing together

Our pain

Our loss

Our endings

Helping us to see

Sometimes we are storytellers

Who are meant to open

The hearts of those who have closed

Who think they are all alone

Who are heartbroken

To understand

With pain comes healing

With loss, freedom

With endings, beginnings

A chance to start anew

To be reborn

Because

There is always a story behind the stories

A hidden truth plain to see

A passage to an inner world

Hidden from the naked eye

Awakening only

When the sun sets

And our beliefs become one.

Releasing us 

From the pain

From loss

From endings

Giving us the wings

To embrace

The healing

The Freedom

And beginnings

Always
Opening us to all that is

Amen

What happens when the lie is bigger than our character?

“The Words” one of the most lyrical and beautiful movies I have seen in a long time. Despite the poor reviews the movie received, I am always drawn to movies about writers so I’m glad I got it because both my husband I loved the movie.  Particularly the peeling back of the layers of each character. The ending left for each of us to interpret according to where we are in our lives allowing us to understand its ending in the way that suits us best.

 It was the last movie my husband and I watched on our day of indulgence and being together to celebrate his birthday. A day of nothingness wrapped in everything. A day chosen because it was a celebration for my husband’s birthday at a time of the ending of his father’s life bringing us closer together and encouraging us to enjoy our time together. To live because we don’t know what moment will be our last.

The Words was a wonderful love story teaching us that the choices we make determine whether our lives will be lived as a lie or as the truth. That we are all capable of making choices.  Reminding us making the choice is the easy part but living with the choices we make is the difficult and most challenging part.

One of the lines that stuck with me and there were several but this one was especially true, “The lie was bigger than his character.” A very sad and poignant statement. Imagine being so unsure about yourself that the lie becomes bigger than you. That the lie makes you into something you could never be but society allows you to become that person. Until slowly but surely the truth seeks you out and there is nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide.

Life truly is about the choices we make. Living with those choices and remembering that at any point, we can change the choices we make by making other choices particularly if we know the choices are drowning us, suffocating us. Stopping us from being who we are meant to be. We always know. Always feel it deep down in our souls. When we desperately try to become something we are not to meet other people’s expectations, we are never satisfied because we can never be content in our skin. We are constantly looking over our shoulder for the true us to emerge or the false us to be found out. We can never truly accept the image staring back at us in the mirror because we know it’s not true.

So what I picked up from the movie is to be wary of allowing the lie to become bigger than our character. Because at the end of the day we will always have to face the character that is crumbling beneath the façade. And the outcome may be far worse than the lie.

Laughter food for the soul

I woke up this morning feeling very content. Feeling like I had slept for a long time. Feeling like I had beaten my alarm but at the same time knowing I hadn't because something did not feel right. Yet I lay in bed ignoring that voice telling me to check the time. I felt too warm. Too snug. After another 5 minutes of trying to quiet the voice. It persisted and got louder so I sat up and looked at the time. My heart nearly stopped. I had overslept by nearly one hour!

Oh no I thought what am I going to do. All of my joy of feeling snug left me then. My mind started racing. But still I did not get up. Justifying the lapsed time because I am not going to work today but I still have to take the children to school. Still have to mediate and write my blog so what do I do. Yet still my body was glued to the bed. I thought I am here because I am meant to be but the voice said but if you don’t get up now you’ll regret not writing your blog or meditating. Your day will start off in the wrong way. After all it is Monday.

So I relented. Listened to the voice and got up. Angry that my morning had started wrong. Trying to decide whether to write my blog first or meditate first. Meditate the voice said. And because I had ignored it earlier, I decided to listen to it so I meditated and my meditation was all about laughter and how it can shift our energy. I was encouraged to laugh as hard as I could as loud as I could.

At first I was angry that this was my meditation. I wanted something more profound than a stupid meditation about laughter. Listen, the voice said. Don’t close your mind to this meditation. So I gave in again.  I didn't laugh out loud as hard as I could because I didn't want to wake the house. And I wasn't too sure about this weird laughter meditation.

Everyone else on the meditation was laughing and they were laughing from deep down in their soul. And before I knew it, I was joining in. I laughed and laughed and laughed and soon my whole body, mind and spirit felt warm again. Full of energy. Full of love. Full of light and full of possibility. All obstacles gave way to pure and unadulterated joy. I knew the Universe was sending me a message to not take myself or my circumstances too seriously but rather to laugh sometimes. Lighten up sometimes to allow myself to accept that laughter is infectious and the perfect medicine for my soul.

Try laughing when all feels bleak. I did and it freed me to be me. To accept that sometimes when we take ourselves or our circumstances too seriously we forget to enjoy all that we are. In gratitude to laughter this morning. Opening my mind, body and spirit to possibility and creativity and joy. Laugh a lot today particularly when you feel you can’t and see just how great you feel. We always have the power to shift our emotions. Laughter is one easy way to do it.

Laughing through today and it’s Monday. Remembering that laughter is great food for the soul. Enjoy.

In order to gain anything we must be willing to lose everything

“In order to gain anything, we must be willing to lose everything" is a quote I read as I was preparing to start my Yoga class.

I had to read it over and over again before my Yoga Class started. Not really fully understanding its meaning before the class started, I decided to set it as my intention to understand its meaning during the class.

Throughout the class, the thought kept popping into my head. Changing the order sometimes but with the same intention. Sometimes I heard, We must give up everything to gain everything. 

As I was in a Yin Yoga Class we have to hold each pose for a minimum of two minutes. And sometimes holding poses can really burn. Test your will. Mentally and physically challenge you to remain in the same pose. But what I found with this lesson was whenever the thought of "in order to gain anything, we must be willing to lose everything" came into my head,  if I released when I felt the burn from holding a pose, I released the burn as well. And what was left was a deep sense of quiet and peace. A deep sense of comfort because I let go. Causing my whole being to smile inside and out.

When my Yoga class ended, I totally got what in order to gain anything, we must be willing to lose everything meant.  I realized it meant that we must not place attachment on any outcome. Not focus too hard on the destination. The ending. Instead we must just live our lives as they are and see where they lead.

By attaching an outcome, we are always in search of the outcome rather than enjoying the journey and the deviations along the way. With attachment we lose out on possibility. With detachment we open ourselves  to more than we ever dreamed. Because we are not limited by what we believe to be the right outcome. Instead we become unlimited in our possibilities.

We must give up everything means having the ability to surrender to all that is. And accept we are where we are meant to be. No expectations, no attachments, no outcomes, just the journey.

Easy to say but difficult in practice. All our lives we have been reaching for the finish line. Trying to cross over first. Oblivious to our surroundings. Instead keeping our eye on the prize. But what I know for sure is I am now being asked, being taught that the only way to gain is to let go. To surrender.

Like the leaf twirling and swirling in the wind. Drifting where the wind takes it. Dancing with it. Not resisting. Not holding on. Enjoying the dance. I realize I must let the wind carry me until I ever so gently land where I am meant to be. Even when I feel the wind is too strong and too painful. Even when I am most afraid. I accept that is the lesson I am meant to learn and I will keep going because that’s the journey I am meant to be on.

 And in the wise words of Joseph Campbell, I accept, “We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” 

Blood on our hands

Yesterday morning, my little Island home woke up to yet another killing, a double murder of two young black males. Shocking our senses. Most of us wondering why and when this will stop.

Last night as I was ending my day I wrote the following:

There is blood on our hands

Each one of us

There is blood flowing down our streets

Staining them and everything in its wake

Red

Blotting out the colors of nature

Obscuring the natural beauty

The natural order

The natural hues

Replacing them with chaos

Pandemonium

And fear

Staining our society

Our brains

Our creativity

Our environment

Why?

Many are asking why?

Many are questioning

How can we stop this?

When and how will this end?

The senseless killings

The senseless loss of lives

The senseless rage

How?

The only way we can

Is through forgiveness

Through peace

Through love

Through community

No more tit for tat

No more pursuit of the mighty dollar

At the expense of everyone else

At the expense of everything else

No more hoarding, cavorting or parading

Instead we need to listen to the sound of silence

Stop

Give ourselves the time to hear the sound of the nothingness that is the all

In order for us to embrace the simplicities of life

The natural order

The balance that is the all

How can we do this?

How?

By turning off the televisions

Turning off the computers

Turning off the radioes

The IPads and IPods

The androids and the tablets

Shutting off the cell phones

The excess noise that does not serve us anymore

And go outside

And breathe

In and out

Slowly and deliberately

Taking in the fact that we are products of our environments

What we see

What we hear

What we feel

Comes from the environments we are in

So we need to change our environments

To go back outside

To see the natural beauty that is waiting for us

Every single day

Outside the doors of our homes

Outside the prisons that have become our minds

Filled with media junk

Open our eyes again to the myriad of colors

The wonderful scents

The beauty of the world we inhabit

This planet called Earth

We need to sensitize our senses again

So we stop the desensitizing that is happening to our youth

So they can stop thinking they are not worthy

Because if they believe they are not worthy

Then who in their minds is worthy?

No one

Not even them

That’s why they kill

That’s why they hate

Because they do not know peace

They do not know love

They do not understand they are a part of nature

A part of the whole

They do not know who they are

Outside of what the television

The computers

The advertising machines

Are feeding them

Telling them

Recruiting them to move away from the whole

Away from their centers

We need to reign them back in

Embrace them

Show them

Reeducate them on how to love self

How to appreciate self

In order for them to love another

To appreciate another

To understand they are as much a part of our community as we are

Bring them back from their world of darkness

Killing games

And advertising junk

Because if we don’t

If we fail

We will all be crying for mercy

Mothers lamenting the loss of their sons

Fathers the tragedy of their loss

Siblings the ripping away of their siblings

Children the experience of their fathers

Asking why

We have blood on our hands

Blood running down our streets

Staining the beauty of all that is

Until there is no more

I don’t want this fate

I’m sure neither do you

So

It’s up to all of us

To help

To stop

To be the change we want to see

One day at a time

From a place of love

From a place of light

From a place of peace

From a place of nonjudgment

One person at a time

Breathing in and out

Stoking our inner fire

Clearing our inner spirit

Changing our environment

Making way for love and peace and understanding

Allowing each one of us to accept

We each have a responsibility to ourselves and to others

To rebuild our community

Our sense of belonging

Our sense of acceptance

Because we can finally understand

We are made up of more than our body, mind and spirit

We are also made up of our environment.

Greatly impacting our experience

Shifting it away from the blood on our hands

The blood running down the streets

Staining our environment

To one of beauty

Love and peace.

Amen