We are who we think we are

I've got so much to write about that I don't even know where to start. So many new experiences. So many new people. So many new challenges. So much to be grateful for. So much to open my heart for and to because of all the things and people that have come into my life.
There is so much opportunity in life if we are open to it. Sometimes the opportunity we want is not exactly what we get. But we get what we project to the Universe. So what we need to do is ask the Universe for what it is that we want rather than what we don't want. Thoughts are stronger than actions. They are what propel us. Move us. Shape us.
Thoughts are also what break us. Hurt us. Limit us. If we think negatively we create a negative existence for ourselves. A vicious cycle that pulls us down.
The only way to live a life of peace, prosperity and harmony is to believe we are worthy to do so. And to live that way. We are who we create. We are who we believe we are. We are limited only by the limitations we put on ourselves. The roadblocks remain with us because we accept them as such rather than looking at them as opportunities to find who we are. Where we are meant to go. New paths. New directions.
A wonderful quote I read today was, "Yours is to acknowledge. Yours is to accept that which is being born within."

When paths cross they do so for reasons

Have you ever bumped into a person over and over again and wondered why? A person you had never seen before until one day your paths crossed. You met. You chatted then walked away thinking that was the end. Until that person keeps appearing whenever you think you should contact them. And they appear in places you least expect them to appear. That's exactly what has been happening with me lately.
It seems this person and I have unfinished business we need to adddress with each other in order for our paths to stop crossing. I know now that I have to do just that. I believely strongly as a result of some of the lessons I have learned along the way, that you never want to burn bridges or slam doors in people's faces because you never know where they may end up next.  Or for that matter where you will end up next. Treat people in the way that you want to be treated and no matter what happens from there, you have done your best to be your best.
Opportunities come in many guises and sometimes from the people, places and things you least expect. Often they come disguised as threats to test you to see if it is really want you want. Sometimes you have to fight for them. To do things you never thought you would have to do to gain the opportunity. But if life was straightforward, none of us would really grow or understand who we really are.
So Universe I get the message, I need to meet with this person I keep bumping into, to chat, to explain, to reconcile. And then we can both move on until our paths we take cross again. Should they need to. Everyone and everything comes into our lives for  reason - sometimes to teach us lessons, other times for us to teach them. But always, always paths cross for symbiotic reasons if we are open to see them.

Intersections

Sitting on the Gatwick Express watching the scenery go by just as night is turning into day. Looking around the train at the new faces. Strangers all together on our way to where we need to go. Paths crossing. Unknown destinations for the majority of us. But held together on a common train. In the same direction. To disperse as we need to.
I look around for a friendly face.People are sleeping. Long commutes. I look outside my window. Taking in the new scenery. On a grey Monday morning. The beginning of another work week. Lights are being switched on in houses and businesses as we speed by.
Life is waking up. Long commutes. Tired faces. Looking around I realise just how fortunate I am to live in Bermuda with short commutes. Everything within arms reach. Reminding me how good it is to get out of your every day routines sometimes to realize just how good you have it.
I look out the window again. Barren trees, grey sky. Cool, crisp air. Refreshing actually. Not too cold but I am wrapped up tight. Prepared for the cold. Smiling at the odd evergreen in the midst of the barren trees. Trains passing each other by. People looking in from the other trains. Faces. Distance. Where are they going? What's on their agendas? Weary eyes. Empty stations. Office buildings lit. Everywhere is brown at the moment, brown buildings. No blue ocean. No green trees. No colourful flowers. No sound of birds chirping in the morning. Though a flock of pigeons just flew over the train.
Quiet. So quiet on the train. No one speaks. Some read. Some sleep. Some just stare out the windows. Makes you want to ask them how they are feeling on this grey Monday morning. But they don't look inviting. Faces are closed. Expressions are muted. What a way to spend everyday getting to work. I feel so fortunate to be stealing in and out of their routines. Knowing I have something to look forward to when I go home. Missing the beauty of the day waking. But grateful for seeing another day even if it's not the same. Seeing it from a different perspective. Grateful for landing safely at Gatwick. Grateful for seeing life from a different perspective.
Oh well my time on the train is coming to an end. The buildings have switched from small and brown to tall and glass. Double decker buses are moving to and fro. More people moving about. Hustling to get to work. I feel the tension starting to build even in the faces of those around me. Time to shut down my computer. Time to put on my armour to go out into the masses and prepare to get in the taxi for the next part of my journey.Grateful for it all. Here's to Monday morning in London.

Change - allows an emergence of our own desires

Sunday – usually my day of bliss but it’s a rushed day for me today as I am preparing for my first business trip for my new job. And mentally preparing myself to be away from my children. Thinking of all I need to prepare so they have a good week without me.  Full of mixed emotions about both. Knowing I have to do what I have to do. Bringing to mind the quote I read, “Change is always fearful to humanity for they perceive it to be unknown rather than an emergence of their own desires.”

I have to accept this change as the stepping stone to my desires. Travelling away from my family to meet new colleagues is all a part of where I am meant to be. So I am resolving in my mind that this too shall pass.

My family has been scattered for a while now. My son soon to be a teenager trying to assert his maturity and independence.  Full of activities, school work and things to do. Challenging his mind. Helping him to grow into a fine young man.

My daughter growing and changing as well. She too busy with all of her activities. Both are gone more than they are at home with us. Growing up and away from us.

I look at them and am reminded that time waits for no one. We have to keep going. Keep moving, Keep changing with the changing dynamics we encounter along the way because if we don’t we become stale, bored, left behind. Looking at my children and seeing how their needs for me have changed, I recognise that change is what takes us to where we want to be – not necessarily in the way we had envisioned it would but it does. Keeping us on our toes. Testing us to see if what we thought we wanted is what we really want. Asking us to challenge ourselves to be authentic and honest with ourselves. Giving us signs of where to go next. What paths to take next.

Sunday – my day of rushing around today – different from how I usually like to spend this day but I accept and embrace this change. Knowing it is helping my own desire to emerge. Helping me to be the best I can be. Metamorphosing like the caterpillar into the butterfly. Winds fully opened flying to the next step.

Sometimes what we need is right in front of us

I can't believe how much of a lesson I learnt night before last. It has been bothering me ever since so I decided to blog about it with the intention of remembering this lesson particularly since it came from my children.

The other night I went into the kitchen and there was a trail of where my children had been. Tape on the buffet table. Scissors on the bench. Sewing kit on the kitchen counter. Glitter glue on the Island. Paper on the dining room table. And instantly I got angry because I have been trying so hard to teach my children to clean up after themselves.

My daughter is the messiest of my children and she is the most artistic so I assumed it was her once again leaving a mess through the house. I yelled at her, "Why didn't you clean up after yourself?"

She looked at me with a hurt look and said, "But it wasn't even me. I didn't do anything." After she said that and seeing her expression I felt really bad.

"Oh it was me," my son said. "Sorry forgot to clean up."

They were busy making birthday cards for my husband and their dad so I left them to it. My son on his computer collating family pictures making a collage of memories and putting our family clan on the back. My daughter on the floor with glitter pens, crayons and paper making her card. I walked out of my son’s room feeling like the worst mother in the world.

After we read our story, I asked them where the cards were and they both said, "We'll show you." They were both so excited it was priceless. They led me to the entrance hall and said, "See."

I looked up and on the arch of the entrance hall, they had hung a banner they had made that said, "Happy Birthday Papa".  They wanted him to feel special when he got home from his trip even though it was not his birthday. They felt bad that they were going to be out for sleepovers so they wanted to make sure he knew they were thinking about him and that's why they had put the extra effort in to make his birthday special. On the banner they had strung their cards up so they could pull them down for his birthday when they got home. And that explained why they had created the mess.

I had walked under that arch several times and never even saw the banner they had made, I was so focused on their mess that I didn't even see the masterpiece they had created. And once I saw it, I hugged them and told them how proud I was of them for being so creative, ingenious and thoughtful. They were so proud of themselves. The mess they had made paled into insignificance once I saw what they had accomplished, totally unprompted and from their hearts.

After they went to bed, I walked back out into the entrance. I stood and looked at the banner for a long time. My heart swelling with pride. And realised my children were teaching me an invaluable lesson. They were letting me know sometimes what we need is right in front of our faces but we are so busy trying to find it that we don't even see it until someone points it out to us. And then our eyes open wide and our souls even more when we see what we need has been there for us waiting for us to really see it.

And what’s funny is once I knew the banner was there, that's all I could see after that.  I couldn't believe I hadn't seen it before. But I guess the other part of the lesson was I wasn't meant to see it until they could present it to me, allowing me to take in their enthusiasm and pride and getting the full picture of what it meant to them. Taking me to the second part of the lesson, sometimes we don't and can't see what we need until we are ready.  Here's to my children being my teachers yet again. And my gratitude for recognising them as my teachers. 

What do you see?

Have you ever seen anything more beautiful than the lights in the sky in this photograph? The wonders of nature igniting our senses once again. Forcing us to surrender to its power.  Its magnificence.  Awakening our souls to its splendour. I feel like this just looking at the picture. I can only imagine how intense and awe inspiring it must be for the people actually witnessing this natural phenomenon.

People in Northern England, Scotland, and Ireland are being treated to one of life’s treasures – The Northern Lights or Aurora Borealis. I always wondered what caused these beautiful lights in the sky. And because they are so spectacular this year and in places where they normally aren’t I was able to discover the how.

The lights are caused by charged electrons from the sun colliding with the atoms in the outer bands of the Earth’s atmosphere. As the electrons enter the earth's upper atmosphere, they collide with atoms of oxygen and nitrogen at altitudes from 20 to 200 miles above the earth's surface. The colour of the aurora depends on the atom it meets and the altitude when they meet.

Green - oxygen, up to 150 miles in altitude

Red - oxygen, above 150 miles in altitude

Blue - nitrogen, up to 60 miles in altitude

Purple/violet - nitrogen, above 60 miles in altitude

Look carefully at this magnificent picture - what do you see? I saw the soft feminine outline of an angel at first. As I looked closer I saw a stronger image of the Phoenix rising from the ashes. Spreading his wings. Majestically. Looking directly at me. The yin and yang of us all – the masculine and feminine duelling for balance.

Reminding me we are a part of something much larger than we could ever image. A part of an infinite existence.  Where there are no explanations for how we all began. No explanations for how we continue to be. A place where energy is all there is. Connecting one source to another. Creating life. Giving life. Taking it away. Magnetism pulling the light across the sky. Dancing for us. Sweeping us up into its mysticism.

The reason why we are all out of sorts at the moment is because of the electrons being shot across our universe sending us all in a tizzy because energy connects us all and can destroy us at the same time. Airplanes are being diverted between the US and Asia because of the solar storm that is about to happen. The Universe is in the process of one of its great changes and so are we.

We are being delivered a message from the Universe letting us see its power through beauty. To remind us how interconnected we all are. Those charged electrons colliding with the atoms are affecting many of us from all walks of life, all corners of the world asking us to remember we are all. We are one. Atom to Atom. Electron to Electron. A part of the Universe.

Something wonderful is going to happen to me today

This morning I woke up praying for my fairy godmother to come along and wave her magic wand. Instantly changing my circumstances. Bringing me clarity. Taking me out of the twilight zone of the unknown. But she didn’t come. And I knew she wouldn’t because I am my fairy godmother and only I can change my circumstances by the way I view them.

I am trying hard to walk the walk I keep writing about instead of just writing about it. You know practising what I am preaching or in my case writing. But it’s hard when I am constantly being tested to remain positive. It’s easy to be cynical. To view the glass as half empty. To project outside of myself then to look within.

By now I should be able to walk on water because of all I have been through. Instead of sapping my own energy because I am being so judgemental of myself. So I closed my eyes and asked for guidance to rebuild my strength and stop letting doubt side track me. Then a story I read to my son when he was a baby came into my consciousness. It was about an elephant who desperately wanted to fly. The elephant tried and tried and believed in himself and talked to himself but still he could not fly. He questioned the universe about why it was that he could not fly even though he truly believed he could. And the answer was nothing is impossible as long it is within the confines of your physical being. We can’t fly physically but we can fly figuratively. We can’t do everything and be everything to everyone else but we can to ourselves.

My quote for the day from Bill Cosby was “I don’t know the secret to success. But I know the secret to failure is trying to please everybody.”

And that’s it for me for now. Time to make breakfast. Wake my children up. Get dressed. Tell myself something wonderful is going to happen to me today. Drive my children to school. Go to work. Remind myself something wonderful is going to happen to me today. Set my intention for the day. Reflect on it. Project it. Live it. Do it.

No fairy godmother. Just me waving my magic wand and getting on with it.  Because I know something wonderful is going to happen to me today.