Sometimes giving up isn’t a form of weakness; it’s realizing you deserve so much more, it’s a form of strength.” The Boxx1
This is one of the most profound statements I have read in a long time. It is up there with the quote by Steve Jobs when he said, “It’s not what we do in life, it’s what we don’t do.”
Sometimes in life you have to know when to walk away, know when to run in a lot of cases in order to preserve your dignity and your honour. Sometimes when you are down and out the greatest challenges come to test you to see what you are made of and what you will and will not take. It is these challenges that help to define who we really are and sets us on the path for the next stage of our lives. These challenges also help us to close the door on whatever it is we definitely do not want in our lives and sometimes this stage can be tough because it’s tough to walk away without exactly knowing what’s next. However it is this trying stage that allows us to free space for our greater opportunity to present itself.
Sometimes people mistake stillness, inaction and walking away as signs of desperation or weakness because we live in a world where everything is immediate and people tend to react before they even know what they really want. The wise people are the ones who take the time to reassess where they are in their lives and what brought them to that stage before they do anything. They are aware of the noise made by others but they do not allow this noise to interfere with their desire to learn the lesson they are meant to learn. They care about what people have to say about them but they do not let their comments drag them down. They understand that they have to retreat, to give up, to just let the chatter around them die down so they can listen to their own inner compasses and be guided by them to where they need to go next.
After the period of giving up passes and the lesson is learned, it is only then that these people resurface much stronger, refreshed, free of old baggage, with a clearer picture of where they need to be because they know they are worthy and are able to accept that they are deserving of the greater gift that is coming their way.
Wednesday, 30 November 2011
Tuesday, 29 November 2011
Learning to move beyond ego
Last night I watched some of the excerpts from Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday on the Internet and I was blown away as usual by the people she gets to interview. Oprah has access to the best therapists and spiritual teachers in the world and listening to their words of wisdom always allows me to awaken to the wider meaning of life.
Last night’s treat for me was listening to Dr. Wayne Dyer talking about the concept of Ego. He observed that ego is an acronym for Edge God Out. He says that ego is nothing more than a collection of ideas we have as follows:
“I am what I have
I am what I do
I am what other people think about me
I am separate from everybody
I am separate from what’s missing in my life.”
Listening to him talk I realised more than ever that ego is actually what limits us from being what we are truly meant to be because it forces us to be fearful, critical, and judgemental about everything we do. Ego is what ring fences us in because it forces us to try to define everything we do as well as places expectations on whatever we do rather than accepting that every decision we make is a stepping stone to becoming whole. We may sometimes take longer to reach our destinations based on the decisions we make but at the end of the day if we go without judgement or expectations we will learn invaluable lessons along the way.
Look at the way Wayne Dyer defines ego and reflect on what each statement says about us as individuals. Each statement no matter how you read it or interpret it places limitations on our life experiences because it forces us to look outside of ourselves for validation when the greatest and strongest validation we could ever receive comes from within us. When we look to others or things as measures of our success, we are rejecting our full potential to be more because should we lose these people or things, how then will we define ourselves? Who are we without these external validators?
The question we all need to ask ourselves is does our core personality change as a result of the loss of material possessions or status? I know my core does not change. It’s only my ego that does. I am always the same fundamentally no matter what and I will try my best from now on not to let ego prevent me from reaching my full potential because I am that I am and no one but me can change who I am unless I allow them.
Last night’s treat for me was listening to Dr. Wayne Dyer talking about the concept of Ego. He observed that ego is an acronym for Edge God Out. He says that ego is nothing more than a collection of ideas we have as follows:
“I am what I have
I am what I do
I am what other people think about me
I am separate from everybody
I am separate from what’s missing in my life.”
Listening to him talk I realised more than ever that ego is actually what limits us from being what we are truly meant to be because it forces us to be fearful, critical, and judgemental about everything we do. Ego is what ring fences us in because it forces us to try to define everything we do as well as places expectations on whatever we do rather than accepting that every decision we make is a stepping stone to becoming whole. We may sometimes take longer to reach our destinations based on the decisions we make but at the end of the day if we go without judgement or expectations we will learn invaluable lessons along the way.
Look at the way Wayne Dyer defines ego and reflect on what each statement says about us as individuals. Each statement no matter how you read it or interpret it places limitations on our life experiences because it forces us to look outside of ourselves for validation when the greatest and strongest validation we could ever receive comes from within us. When we look to others or things as measures of our success, we are rejecting our full potential to be more because should we lose these people or things, how then will we define ourselves? Who are we without these external validators?
The question we all need to ask ourselves is does our core personality change as a result of the loss of material possessions or status? I know my core does not change. It’s only my ego that does. I am always the same fundamentally no matter what and I will try my best from now on not to let ego prevent me from reaching my full potential because I am that I am and no one but me can change who I am unless I allow them.
Monday, 28 November 2011
Each day is a blessing
When I was very young, I used to love to get up really early so that I could spend some time alone with my mother who was an early riser – just her and I. There were six of us vying for her attention plus our dog. So the earlier I got up the more time I had with her.
As I got older I wanted to sleep the day away because it seemed like the days stretched for too long, particularly after my mother died. I could not handle the idle hours that stretched ahead of me so I would not get out of bed before noon because then at least a large part of the day was gone. When I was in my twenties and feeling totally insecure about everything in my life, on weekends I would stay in bed with the blinds closed for the whole day because then I didn’t have to face anyone or anything. I lost myself in movies that I rented to escape the reality of my nonlife.
After having children my sleeping habits changed dramatically because I stopped sleeping. I have two children who never slept through the night – my son woke every four hours until he was two years old then he slept through the night lulling me into a false belief that if I had another child he or she would sleep through the night. My daughter came along four years later and woke up every two hours until she was two as well, got a bit better but now even at eight years old she comes into our bed at about two in the morning pressing her body against mine or my husband’s to go back to sleep. Now I understand why I slept all those years before to prepare my body for nonsleep.
Now in my late forties, I love to wake up with the sun rising, just before the sun rise is even better. I love to look at the promise of a new day to see how the day will turn out, to watch the clouds to see whether they are angry or kind, to see the dawn burst into daylight, to see the silhouettes of the trees bending in the breeze, to listen to the stillness of the day before everything bursts into action.
I love waking early because now I want the days to stretch, to feel endless because time seems to be speeding up with each year that I get older. I now understand why the elderly tend to get up at three in the morning because they are so pleased to have another day on this earth and they want to stretch out their last days as much as they can. I can totally relate to how they feel now because time is not waiting for me or anyone else. It is marching on and I just want to make sure I enjoy every second, every minute, every hour of each day because seeing another day is truly a blessing.
As I got older I wanted to sleep the day away because it seemed like the days stretched for too long, particularly after my mother died. I could not handle the idle hours that stretched ahead of me so I would not get out of bed before noon because then at least a large part of the day was gone. When I was in my twenties and feeling totally insecure about everything in my life, on weekends I would stay in bed with the blinds closed for the whole day because then I didn’t have to face anyone or anything. I lost myself in movies that I rented to escape the reality of my nonlife.
After having children my sleeping habits changed dramatically because I stopped sleeping. I have two children who never slept through the night – my son woke every four hours until he was two years old then he slept through the night lulling me into a false belief that if I had another child he or she would sleep through the night. My daughter came along four years later and woke up every two hours until she was two as well, got a bit better but now even at eight years old she comes into our bed at about two in the morning pressing her body against mine or my husband’s to go back to sleep. Now I understand why I slept all those years before to prepare my body for nonsleep.
Now in my late forties, I love to wake up with the sun rising, just before the sun rise is even better. I love to look at the promise of a new day to see how the day will turn out, to watch the clouds to see whether they are angry or kind, to see the dawn burst into daylight, to see the silhouettes of the trees bending in the breeze, to listen to the stillness of the day before everything bursts into action.
I love waking early because now I want the days to stretch, to feel endless because time seems to be speeding up with each year that I get older. I now understand why the elderly tend to get up at three in the morning because they are so pleased to have another day on this earth and they want to stretch out their last days as much as they can. I can totally relate to how they feel now because time is not waiting for me or anyone else. It is marching on and I just want to make sure I enjoy every second, every minute, every hour of each day because seeing another day is truly a blessing.
Sunday, 27 November 2011
Mud pie delights
Yesterday afternoon after my daughter and her cousin had finished their ballet recital rehearsal, we came back to the house and because they had been inside the dark hall, they jumped out of the car and ran with abandonment through the yard, arms flailing, shouting for joy, as they inhaled the beautiful fresh air. They headed for the rope swing that my husband had made. The sound of their laughter was infectious and filled the air with such merriment and youth.
I stood at the kitchen window watching them and thinking about how easy it was to be their age. How delightful it was to just run outside and play. I was thrilled they were outside enjoying the air. I watched them chatting like two little ladies and saw flashes of what they will be like when they get older.
I called them in for a snack then my husband came home so we made him a gourmet salad with the girls’ advice about how it should be presented. Then the light bulb went off for them about what to do next.
They disappeared into the yard chatting about their next plan. They then wondered into the house to get water containers but didn’t say why. Then they came in with culinary masterpieces they had created from mud, flowers, leaves, twigs and whatever else they could find in the yard. By that time my cousin and her friend had arrived so we oohed and aahed over the “food” they had prepared.
They presented their creations as appetizers, main courses and desserts. Their presentation was amazing. We all laughed and said, “When we were their age, we didn’t even know what an appetizer was and neither did we know anything about presentation. When we made food out of mud it looked like food out of mud. It didn’t have the gourmet look nor did it have such terms as seaweed salad, clams, or mocha, to name a few.”
I said, “It’s because we had never been to a restaurant when we were their age so we would not have known what an appetizer was nor did we have the diversity of people that we have now living in Bermuda so we would never have heard of seaweed salad!”
It made me reflect on how much more our children have been exposed to than we ever were but at the end of the day they still want to play in the mud, they still want to create and they still want to be acknowledged for what they do. It was truly a wonderful late afternoon treat to see my daughter and her cousin sitting at her little outdoor table creating food masterpieces from nature, getting their hands dirty and just being little girls using their imagination rather than sitting inside having their imaginations suppressed by the television or computer.
I stood at the kitchen window watching them and thinking about how easy it was to be their age. How delightful it was to just run outside and play. I was thrilled they were outside enjoying the air. I watched them chatting like two little ladies and saw flashes of what they will be like when they get older.
I called them in for a snack then my husband came home so we made him a gourmet salad with the girls’ advice about how it should be presented. Then the light bulb went off for them about what to do next.
They disappeared into the yard chatting about their next plan. They then wondered into the house to get water containers but didn’t say why. Then they came in with culinary masterpieces they had created from mud, flowers, leaves, twigs and whatever else they could find in the yard. By that time my cousin and her friend had arrived so we oohed and aahed over the “food” they had prepared.
They presented their creations as appetizers, main courses and desserts. Their presentation was amazing. We all laughed and said, “When we were their age, we didn’t even know what an appetizer was and neither did we know anything about presentation. When we made food out of mud it looked like food out of mud. It didn’t have the gourmet look nor did it have such terms as seaweed salad, clams, or mocha, to name a few.”
I said, “It’s because we had never been to a restaurant when we were their age so we would not have known what an appetizer was nor did we have the diversity of people that we have now living in Bermuda so we would never have heard of seaweed salad!”
It made me reflect on how much more our children have been exposed to than we ever were but at the end of the day they still want to play in the mud, they still want to create and they still want to be acknowledged for what they do. It was truly a wonderful late afternoon treat to see my daughter and her cousin sitting at her little outdoor table creating food masterpieces from nature, getting their hands dirty and just being little girls using their imagination rather than sitting inside having their imaginations suppressed by the television or computer.
Saturday, 26 November 2011
Idyllic rural setting in the midst of chaos
This morning I am sitting outside of my daughter's horseriding lesson. The sun is streaming into the car after a downpour. The birds are chirping in the trees and I am looking at the most beautiful lilac bush blowing in the wind. My daughter horse rides in one of the few remaining untouched rural settings in Bermuda where there are trees that you can't see through and very little traffic. It is an oasis onto itself, tucked off the main road and a place that takes me back to my childhood days when I used to run free through the hills without worrying about tomorrow or the day before, without worrying about my safety, simply without worrying at all.
I am listening to the sound of the wind in the trees rustling the leaves almost as if they are sighing and singing at the same time and I am feeling much calmer by the minute having rushed out of the house to get my daughgter to an early riding lesson because she has rehearsals today for her upcoming ballet recital.
I even got up early to fit everything in, check my son to make sure he has started his homework because he has a busy weekend, tennis, guitar, playdate, today tomorrow Boy's Brigade parade and guitar performance. My mind was racing this morning when I woke up about all the things my family has to do this weekend and wondering how we will fit it all in so that everyone gets a little bit of quality time in.
Even driving here I felt the pressure of the weekend coming down on me, my daughter has her first starring role in her Christmas play at school and her costume needs to be in by Monday but it doesn't look like we will have it on time to take in the morning so that means I may have to reschedule my whole day on Monday to work around getting this costume to school in time for her dress rehearsal then her ballet recital starts on Thursday through to Saturday.
My son has lots of exams next week because the term is winding down and I panic about whether I will be able to give him enough time splitting my time between both their schedules.
But sitting here watching the trees bending, my daughter riding her horse under her instructor's direction, hearing nothing by the sound of nature, an odd cow mooing, I am reminded of the old Bermuda days when everyone was free and easy and we did not have so much going on with our lives. All we had was nature and our imaginations to keep us occupied. Sitting here surrounded by nature, I am reminded that the solace I seek is all around me, I just need to step back sometimes and accept I can't do it all but I will do the best I can.
So I don't feel guilty sitting and looking at this rural setting taking me back to a different place and time when my life was not so complicated because it is allowing me to understand that life doesn't have to be about being busy and run off our feet all the time, sometimes it can just be taking a moment to appreciate all that we have right in front of us for free without racing past it and not even seeing it.
My mind has already started to slow down, the steam is seeping out of my head and I am feeling so much better about everything I have ahead of me because now I know without a doubt everything will happen in its own time. And all I have to do is breathe and take quiet moments to centre myself and it will all work out.
I am listening to the sound of the wind in the trees rustling the leaves almost as if they are sighing and singing at the same time and I am feeling much calmer by the minute having rushed out of the house to get my daughgter to an early riding lesson because she has rehearsals today for her upcoming ballet recital.
I even got up early to fit everything in, check my son to make sure he has started his homework because he has a busy weekend, tennis, guitar, playdate, today tomorrow Boy's Brigade parade and guitar performance. My mind was racing this morning when I woke up about all the things my family has to do this weekend and wondering how we will fit it all in so that everyone gets a little bit of quality time in.
Even driving here I felt the pressure of the weekend coming down on me, my daughter has her first starring role in her Christmas play at school and her costume needs to be in by Monday but it doesn't look like we will have it on time to take in the morning so that means I may have to reschedule my whole day on Monday to work around getting this costume to school in time for her dress rehearsal then her ballet recital starts on Thursday through to Saturday.
My son has lots of exams next week because the term is winding down and I panic about whether I will be able to give him enough time splitting my time between both their schedules.
But sitting here watching the trees bending, my daughter riding her horse under her instructor's direction, hearing nothing by the sound of nature, an odd cow mooing, I am reminded of the old Bermuda days when everyone was free and easy and we did not have so much going on with our lives. All we had was nature and our imaginations to keep us occupied. Sitting here surrounded by nature, I am reminded that the solace I seek is all around me, I just need to step back sometimes and accept I can't do it all but I will do the best I can.
So I don't feel guilty sitting and looking at this rural setting taking me back to a different place and time when my life was not so complicated because it is allowing me to understand that life doesn't have to be about being busy and run off our feet all the time, sometimes it can just be taking a moment to appreciate all that we have right in front of us for free without racing past it and not even seeing it.
My mind has already started to slow down, the steam is seeping out of my head and I am feeling so much better about everything I have ahead of me because now I know without a doubt everything will happen in its own time. And all I have to do is breathe and take quiet moments to centre myself and it will all work out.
Friday, 25 November 2011
Finding the rainbows in every cloud
Hamilton was buzzing this morning because Bermuda has introduced the American Black Friday shopping sales. There were people everywhere. Normally I can get in and out when I go in early because everyone is at work. This morning was different.
I was looking for miniature pom poms for my daughter because she has decided she wants to make her own Christmas cards for her class which I think is wonderful. As I was walking from store to store trying to find these pom poms , I bumped into several people I have not seen for a long time. One out of three people I spoke to told me they had been made redundant from their jobs – some have been able to find part time employment while others have not been able to find anything.
I felt really sad for these people because though they had light in their eyes because of the excitement over shopping for Christmas and the sales, I could feel their sadness underneath of it all. I sent them as much love and light as I could as I can totally understand their feelings having been in the same position myself.
Then I bumped into one lady who had lost her job and she said she gets up every morning and says thank you Lord for another day and asks to be led to where she needs to go. She said her situation could be worse then smiled and walked away.
I stood on the spot for a moment watching the retreating back of that dignified lady and felt like I had been spoken to by an angel. My sadness lifted, a smile came on my face and you know what it is so true no matter what we may be going through there is always someone who is in a better or worse position than we are. So all we have to do is keep smiling, keep ourselves open and remember to give thanks for simply waking up in the morning.
As Maya Angelou says, there are always rainbows in heavy clouds; we just need to be open to see them.
I was looking for miniature pom poms for my daughter because she has decided she wants to make her own Christmas cards for her class which I think is wonderful. As I was walking from store to store trying to find these pom poms , I bumped into several people I have not seen for a long time. One out of three people I spoke to told me they had been made redundant from their jobs – some have been able to find part time employment while others have not been able to find anything.
I felt really sad for these people because though they had light in their eyes because of the excitement over shopping for Christmas and the sales, I could feel their sadness underneath of it all. I sent them as much love and light as I could as I can totally understand their feelings having been in the same position myself.
Then I bumped into one lady who had lost her job and she said she gets up every morning and says thank you Lord for another day and asks to be led to where she needs to go. She said her situation could be worse then smiled and walked away.
I stood on the spot for a moment watching the retreating back of that dignified lady and felt like I had been spoken to by an angel. My sadness lifted, a smile came on my face and you know what it is so true no matter what we may be going through there is always someone who is in a better or worse position than we are. So all we have to do is keep smiling, keep ourselves open and remember to give thanks for simply waking up in the morning.
As Maya Angelou says, there are always rainbows in heavy clouds; we just need to be open to see them.
Thursday, 24 November 2011
Happy Thanksgiving
It’s the American Thanksgiving Day today and it is always a day that resounds around the world because of the power of the US and its influence on many nations. And today that’s a good thing because our world needs as much positive energy as it can get.
There is so much sorrow, upset and disappointment all around. The economic downturn has impacted someone that just about all of us knows. Riots are taking place globally because the balance of wealth has been skewed to a small percentage of people and people are fighting for answers.
Today is the sort of day that pushes those ill feelings aside as people forget their troubles and immerse themselves in love. It is a day of sharing, loving and joy. When I look at the posts on Facebook and Twitter and even the stories on the news, there is a definite shift toward gratitude and inner joy because people are thinking about the food they are preparing and the family and friends they will be spending the day with. It’s a day to breathe and get away from hardships and heartache.
Though my family does not celebrate Thanksgiving, I will take time today to give thanks for all the blessings I have in my life at the present moment and there are many. I will smile at everyone that I see – it’s amazing to watch the effect when I do this – both for me and those I smile at. I will spread joy today pushing aside bad thoughts. I will add to the feeling of wellbeing today experienced by many which means many of us should feel a shift in consciousness because there is more joy than unhappiness today.
Happy Thanksgiving America and to my many friends and family that will be celebrating this day of joy, love and peace. May the abundance of the Universe warm your heart and remind you that everyday should be a day of Thanksgiving. Look around you today and spread your joy, open your hearts to love, set aside any differences you may have and allow the love and light we all have inside to surround us, seeping out into the world, touching the hearts of even those we do not know.
I can feel the love already.May peace be unto us all.
There is so much sorrow, upset and disappointment all around. The economic downturn has impacted someone that just about all of us knows. Riots are taking place globally because the balance of wealth has been skewed to a small percentage of people and people are fighting for answers.
Today is the sort of day that pushes those ill feelings aside as people forget their troubles and immerse themselves in love. It is a day of sharing, loving and joy. When I look at the posts on Facebook and Twitter and even the stories on the news, there is a definite shift toward gratitude and inner joy because people are thinking about the food they are preparing and the family and friends they will be spending the day with. It’s a day to breathe and get away from hardships and heartache.
Though my family does not celebrate Thanksgiving, I will take time today to give thanks for all the blessings I have in my life at the present moment and there are many. I will smile at everyone that I see – it’s amazing to watch the effect when I do this – both for me and those I smile at. I will spread joy today pushing aside bad thoughts. I will add to the feeling of wellbeing today experienced by many which means many of us should feel a shift in consciousness because there is more joy than unhappiness today.
Happy Thanksgiving America and to my many friends and family that will be celebrating this day of joy, love and peace. May the abundance of the Universe warm your heart and remind you that everyday should be a day of Thanksgiving. Look around you today and spread your joy, open your hearts to love, set aside any differences you may have and allow the love and light we all have inside to surround us, seeping out into the world, touching the hearts of even those we do not know.
I can feel the love already.May peace be unto us all.
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