Finding the rainbows in every cloud

Hamilton was buzzing this morning because Bermuda has introduced the American Black Friday shopping sales. There were people everywhere. Normally I can get in and out when I go in early because everyone is at work. This morning was different.
I was looking for miniature pom poms for my daughter because she has decided she wants to make her own Christmas cards for her class which I think is wonderful. As I was walking from store to store trying to find these pom poms , I bumped into several people I have not seen for a long time. One out of three people I spoke to told me they had been made redundant from their jobs – some have been able to find part time employment while others have not been able to find anything.
I felt really sad for these people because though they had light in their eyes because of the excitement over shopping for Christmas and the sales, I could feel their sadness underneath of it all. I sent them as much love and light as I could as I can totally understand their feelings having been in the same position myself.
Then I bumped into one lady who had lost her job and she said she gets up every morning and says thank you Lord for another day and asks to be led to where she needs to go. She said her situation could be worse then smiled and walked away.
I stood on the spot for a moment watching the retreating back of that dignified lady and felt like I had been spoken to by an angel. My sadness lifted, a smile came on my face and you know what it is so true no matter what we may be going through there is always someone who is in a better or worse position than we are. So all we have to do is keep smiling, keep ourselves open and remember to give thanks for simply waking up in the morning.
As Maya Angelou says, there are always rainbows in heavy clouds; we just need to be open to see them.

Happy Thanksgiving

It’s the American Thanksgiving Day today and it is always a day that resounds around the world because of the power of the US and its influence on many nations. And today that’s a good thing because our world needs as much positive energy as it can get.
There is so much sorrow, upset and disappointment all around. The economic downturn has impacted someone that just about all of us knows. Riots are taking place globally because the balance of wealth has been skewed to a small percentage of people and people are fighting for answers.
Today is the sort of day that pushes those ill feelings aside as people forget their troubles and immerse themselves in love. It is a day of sharing, loving and joy. When I look at the posts on Facebook and Twitter and even the stories on the news, there is a definite shift toward gratitude and inner joy because people are thinking about the food they are preparing and the family and friends they will be spending the day with. It’s a day to breathe and get away from hardships and heartache.
Though my family does not celebrate Thanksgiving, I will take time today to give thanks for all the blessings I have in my life at the present moment and there are many. I will smile at everyone that I see – it’s amazing to watch the effect when I do this – both for me and those I smile at. I will spread joy today pushing aside bad thoughts. I will add to the feeling of wellbeing today experienced by many which means many of us should feel a shift in consciousness because there is more joy than unhappiness today.
Happy Thanksgiving America and to my many friends and family that will be celebrating this day of joy, love and peace. May the abundance of the Universe warm your heart and remind you that everyday should be a day of Thanksgiving. Look around you today and spread your joy, open your hearts to love, set aside any differences you may have and allow the love and light we all have inside to surround us, seeping out into the world, touching the hearts of even those we do not know.
I can feel the love already.May peace be unto us all.

I have nothing to lose

“I have nothing to lose.”
I’ve heard this statement voiced by several people, people I know and people I don’t, recently because of the current economic downturn. And I have been reflecting on this statement to understand why it is resonating with me. And I believe it’s because I feel much empathy toward these people.
Fortunes change overnight. Circumstances change in seconds. Life throws us wobblers. At some point in our lives we will all experience upsets and misfortune but it’s not what happens to us, it’s how we deal with it that separates the people who get through life’s difficulties versus those who don’t.
When people bottom out, if they leave their minds open, they will open themselves to one of the most creative and resourceful periods of their lives. Bottoming out allows us to come face to face with issues we have been suppressing because there are no longer any excuses for why we are in the situation we may find ourselves in. We have reached the depths of our despair and the only way out is to confront ourselves.
People who have nothing to lose have the opportunity to be who they truly are meant to be because no one can take anything from them as it has already been taken. These people are confronted by their inner most desires, fears and shadows. They have the opportunity to completely change direction and head to where they want to go. They can drop all the baggage and pretence and move forward with a lighter load.
I’m not trying to diminish the difficulty people experience when they get to this point as I do recognise that having nothing to lose is an extremely terrifying place to be in because people often find themselves backed into a corner, the weight of the world on their shoulders, and people making demands on them that they can’t do anything about. But if they stopped and really assessed their situation they will see they are free now to operate in the present moment in order to find their way out. They cannot go back and rewrite the past. They cannot go forward and worry about tomorrow. All they can do is focus on the now and how they will pick themselves up, dust themselves off and start all over again.
Having nothing to lose is a freeing feeling when you realise you have the chance to start all over again. It also signals the end of the downward spiral because you are at the bottom looking up. For all those people who have nothing to lose, please remember to have faith and no matter how bad you feel, this time in your life will pass when you accept you are where you are meant to be, learn the lesson and move on.
Remember you may have nothing to lose but you have everything to gain. Here’s to the first step to the new you. We’re all cheering for you sending you love and light and encouragement because you are not alone in your struggle.
Repeat this mantra to yourself as Sir Lancelot said to King Arthur, “I have nothing to lose so what do I have to fear?”

Taking some time to listen to me

Yesterday after I finished writing my novel, I felt both exhilarated and nervous at the same time. I had been writing nonstop for 21 days, waking up thinking about my characters, going to sleep thinking about my characters and then all of a sudden yesterday their voices were no longer in my head, gone. It felt like a death to me of some sort. I kept waiting, listening to see if they were going to come back, to chat to me, to let me know what I was meant to do next. Nothing came. I became listless, not knowing what to do next.
I wondered if I should call a friend and go out for lunch or coffee, surround myself with the noise of others but somehow that didn’t feel right for me. I decided I wanted to be with me, to just listen to me and my thoughts without the interference of characters or anyone else. I looked out my office window and I saw the perfect blue sky and the sun streaming in. I felt the call of nature telling me to come outside.
So I did. I got up from my desk and went outside, placed a chair directly in the line of the sun, sat in it and closed my eyes. I thanked the Universe for all that I have and for all that I am about to receive. I asked the Universe for guidance for the next stage of my life, to help me find inner peace with whatever I am meant to do next, to give me the courage to be who I am meant to be, to give me the strength to continue to radiate the love and light so prevalent in the world, to be free of judgement and to love as unconditionally as I humanly can.
I asked for a sign to let me know I am on the right track. And then I listened to the sound of silence. No questions, no answers. Silence. I felt myself floating away to a place where all is possible, a place deep within the recesses of my brain, a place all of us have when we sit in silence and reverence opening our minds to the infinite. I felt such peace and abandonment and my body, mind and soul felt remarkably lighter.
I opened my eyes and there above me was the form of an angel, a goddess of the Universe in the clouds looking down on me, suspended, floating and letting me know I am a part of a much bigger plan and all I have to do is to continue to have faith and all will be well.
My whole attitude shifted after that, gone was the listlessness, gone was the feeling of death and in its place was the feeling of rebirth and change and infinite possibility. Thank you Universe for shining your light down on me.

Resisting Change is the equivalent of resisting living

Yesterday I came across a woman called Elizabeth Lesser. She is the cofounder and senior advisor at the Omega Institute – a mind, body and soul facility.
She said something that stuck with me all day and it was, we all long for change but we resist it at the same time. In order to stop the war that we carry constantly within, we must make friends with the never-ending process of change. Change lubricates our lives. Resisting it clogs our arteries.
I thought about this all day trying to understand why we try to resist the only constant in life – change. If we look around us we can see change in everything – we are different from the person we were ten years ago and sometimes as little as ten minutes before. The trees, the day, the flowers everything around us changes all the time.
Why are we so nervous about breaking out of what is causing us to decay and doing something that resonates with us? Why do we do the same routines every day complaining that we are not stimulated but do nothing about it? Is it because we are afraid of failure, of being judged? If this is the case then we should ignore that because no matter what we do or don’t do there will always be someone who will judge us. So what the heck? We have to come to terms with the fact that the failure is from not starting or completing. It does not come from going for it. Never.
Then I read this quote today from Arianna Huffington who said, “When you expose yourself to the opportunities that scare you, you create something scarce, something others won’t do.”
Break free from your routines. Change it up a bit, Give yourself a chance to be exposed to those opportunities that scare you and see where they take you. I have been challenging myself lots lately and I am happy to say I completed my November writing challenge today. I wrote 50, 658 words in 21 days! And I feel pretty proud of myself for doing so. Now I am exhausted and I am going to take a well deserved break.
Let’s keep challenging ourselves by remaining open to the only constant in our lives – change and see where we end up. Who would have thought I could write a 50,658 word novel in 21 days? I didn’t know I could but I stepped up to the challenge and did it and I feel like I can do anything I set my mind too now. Anything is possible if we stop resisting. And stop being afraid of failure.
Embracing change challenges us and moves us closer to who we are meant to be.

We are not our children

Emotions are such inner compasses of where we are in our lives and how we are feeling at the present moment. They are gauges to what we can and do not want to take yet why do we cast them aside, push them to the background. Why do we override them the majority of the time rather than letting them guide us to where we need to be?
I think it’s because we have been conditioned from children to do what’s best for everyone else and not ourselves. We are told how we should behave in certain circumstances, we are told what to wear, what to say to the extent that we lose our authentic selves in the process. Or if we don’t lose who we are completely we become confused about who we truly are.
I look at my children and see how they are growing and changing and how I want to shape them so they don’t experience the issues of abandonment and loneliness I experienced in my growing years. And sometimes I overpower them too much because I am trying to shape them into near perfect beings because in my parent mind I am trying to protect them from any sadness and hurt. I always know when I have overpowered them because I can see the light go out in their eyes, I see them hanging their heads in disappointment because I failed to see their individuality, failed to listen to their desires. And whenever that happens, I get a pain in the pit of my stomach but sometimes I can’t pull back because I feel I know better than they do because I have the battle scars of life to prove it and they don’t yet.
But am I right? Should I be letting them gain their own battle scars because though they came through me, they are not me. They are part me, part my husband, part themselves and part the Divine so I can’t and won’t know all the answers for them because I am only a small part of who they are.
How do we as parents know when to draw the line to allow our children to blossom into the individuals that they are without filling their heads with our dreams, limitations and fears? I pray that I am able to give my children wings so they can fly rather than giving them wings then clipping them so they are never able to get off the ground.
Because as the great prophet Khalil Gibran says,
“Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not of you.
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrow may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.”
I pray that I accept I am not my children and cannot live their lives but can be strong enough to be there for them whenever they need me without judgement or expectations.

Immortality is something we can't escape

This morning I was about to hang my clothes on the line before taking my daughter to horse riding when I got a phone call from a voice from the past - my old room mate from University- calling to tell me one of our neighbours who was near and dear to both our hearts had died the day before at 5pm. She had been suffering from seizures and died. We chatted for a long time about days gone by, people that have come and gone in our lives, relationships and their challenges as well as the prospect of so much coming from all directions - "everything at once," was her statement to be exact.
I said to her, "It's because death is getting near to us."
She defensively said," What do you mean by that?"
"We are getting older so people our age and the generation before us are dying," I said.
"Yes," she said reflectively. And we both went quiet thinking about what my statement meant and how it felt for both of us. We hung up on a good note wishing each other well, me telling her she needed to start living and stop cooping herself up because she had been hurt before. Me telling her that she was too young to cut herself off from life. She thanking me for the pep talk.
After we hung up, I went outside to the line to hang out the last bit of clothes still thinking about the conversation I had just had then my mind wondered to the fact that a woman I had gone to high school died last week and was buried on Wednesday. She was my age, 48, and she left behind a husband and two children. I thought about whether she was happy when she died. Wondered if she was satisfied with what she had accomplished. Wondered how I would feel if I knew I was going to die tomorrow, could I say I had lived my life to the fullest?
Despite going on with my Saturday activities, my mind kept wondering back to the two deaths that were fairly close to me and the conversation I had had with my ex roommate when I bumped into my cousin who told me about a mutual friend who is in her early forties who was air ambulanced out last night to a hospital in the US in grave condition and I got chill bumps.
I said to her, "You know I have decided that I am not going to deprive myself anymore of anything I want because life is too short. I am going to eat whatever I feel like - bread, cake, potato chips, whatever I like of course in moderation - because you just never know when your time is going to be up."
She agreed wholeheartedly. Of course I was saying these things in jest but once I walked away from her and started driving home the fact that our mortality is something we have to face and think about struck me. I thought about how we take so much of our every day actions for granted because they are always there.
Finding out about these deaths and the grave condtiion my friend is in made me truly appreciate how much we have to be happy in the moment we are in, we need to make the most out of what we have, we need to be grateful for every breath we take, and for having another day on this earth. And most of all we need to live a life of joy, throwing out our inhibitions and fears because at some point we will all have to face the fact that we are mortals. We all have to face the fact that our mortality is ticking away each second, each minute, each hour, each day. We can't stop it or change it but we can enjoy each second, minute, hour and day we have. That's my promise to myself.