People who are not afraid of failure

I came across this wonderful quote last week and for some reason I have not explored it until now, "People who are not afraid of failure can go anywhere".
Think about it, People who are not afraid of failure are not worried about what anyone says about them. Not worried about the image they portray because they are not portraying an image, they are living. Are not hampered by the naysayers because they see the naysayers for who they are - dream snatchers and destroyers. Are not restricted by what society believes is the correct way to live and be because they know there is no correct way to live or be - life just is according to where we are in our growth.
People who are not afraid of failure accept that in order to grow, in order explore who they are and who they are not, that they have to challenge themselves. And only themselves. They know they are not competing with anyone else but themselves so what anyone else has to say about their growth has nothing to do with them. They shut out the noise of the world. Close their ears to those who try to bring them down. And they keep forging on. Finding those who share their fearless nature when it comes to failure because they know when they challenge themselves, they will sometimes fail. But what these people understand is there is no such thing as failure - only gateways to what does not suit them. Nudges to move in another direction.
People who aren't afraid of failure would rather keep trying than standing still and just going with the status quo, boring themselves to death. To them remaining with the status quo is failure. Not being brave enough to buck the tide and rise above the rest constitute failure to those who are unafraid to fail. They see opportunity in everything and everyone so they forge ahead no mater what.
People who are not afraid of failure know the only failure is not doing, not starting, not trying. They see failure as a gift. As a means to getting to where they ultimately want to go. Picking themselves up, dusting themselves off and going on despite the mishaps or missteps.
People who are not afraid of failure remain curious about life because they know curiosity keeps them moving. Keeps them going even when they face their greatest challenge. Even when they are terrified, they keep going. They recognise it is the fear that is pushing them to move beyond where they have become complacent.
People who are not afraid to fail can go anywhere, do anything, be anything because they understand they, and only they, hold the key to their success, to their journey. They understand there is no outside challenge or influence that can keep them from their dreams unless they allow them. They know there are no lucky people. Only people who are willing to go where everyone else is afraid to go. Only people who know there are no closed doors, no locked doors - only those we choose to see as impediments, as excuses for why we can't go where we want to go.
So next time, we think we are not capable of achieving or afraid of getting egg on our faces, let's take a page out of the books of those who see failure as a gift and just go for it. The only way people who are not afraid to fail have been able to go anywhere they want is by being unafraid of failure. Unafraid to fall. Unafraid of facing themselves - the only challenge we ever really have to overcome - the challenge of being who we are. Only then can we tap into our essence self. Allowing us to embrace the power of our own being. Liberating us from the bondage of being afraid to fail so we can go anywhere we want, be anything we want. What a wonderful gift to give to ourselves - letting go of the fear of failure and instead seeing it as a gateway to our own success.

Chasing the moonlight

Last night the moon was hiding when I went to bed. Dark night. No light. I searched for it through my normal places. Through my bathroom window. Bedroom windows that face the south to find it nowhere. Sadness at first because I enjoy the moon. Enjoy its light just before I go to sleep. The shadows it casts through my shades. None as I went to bed. Darkness. No shadows. No images. No light.
Then  I woke at 3.30 to find a light shining through my bedroom door shade. Getting up thinking the motion lights had come on only to find the moon high up in the dark sky shining down through my windows. Higher than normal. Lying slightly on its  back. Casting shadows. Images I wanted to see when I went to bed but here they were now. Strange feeling at first because the moon was not where I had anticipated it would be. Not where it normally is when I go to bed nor where it normally is when I wake at that time of the morning. Normally it is shining through my bathroom windows when I awake through the night.
I got up to go to the bathroom. Opened the door and was taken aback by the darkness. The lack of the moon light shining through my windows. Forcing me to turn on the bathroom light rather than rely on the light of the moon. Artificial light in place of the light of the moon. No dancing shadows on my blinds. No light of the moon.
Strange how I have become so attached to the moon and its light shining through my home when I sleep at night. How I have come to expect it to be in places where it was not last night. Only for it to fool me last night and shift its position to the other side of the house. Teaching me the light is always there just not where we expect it to be always but always there nonetheless. That sometimes we have to change our perspective and expectations in order to find the way. To find the light.
That when we expect life to always be a certain way,we will find  ourselves plunged into darkness. And if we continue to live that way, we will never find the light. The light that is always there waiting just for us to find it. Asking us to shift, to be flexible and open. To not be rigid in our thinking. Allowing us to understand that when we are willing to remain open and to adjust the way we live, the way we think, we will find the light. The light that has shifted because its place is no longer where it used to be. As should we.
Letting me know sometimes we have to move on. Move away from that which no longer serves us. No longer fulfills us and in  doing so we will find the light again,. The light that is always there for us. Guiding us to find our way home. To find our truth. To be our truth.
Waking this morning to find the light of the moon still streaming on the opposite side of my home. Reminding me that life is not always meant to be lived exactly the same way. Sometimes we have to be on the opposite side of where we were in order to live our lives to the fullest. In order to bask in the light of the moon. The light that shines for us even on our darkest night.
And as I finish this blog, I could not find the light of the moon. All I could see were the stars illuminating the dark sky from my windows. Casting different shadows. Radiating different light. Making way for the night to become day. For the light of the sun to replace the light of the moon. Letting me know there is a time and place for everything, all when I accept the shifting light of the moon mirrors the shifting light in me.
And then Sally, the cat, wanted to go outside so I opened the door for her and something told me to look up and there was the moon still hanging on. Still lying on its back, high, high up in the sky. almost directly above my home. Explaining why I could not see it through my windows.
Tricky moon, elusive moon, the one I thought I had gone was still there. A puffy cloud to its right and stars, an abundance of stars to its left and above it and I knew somehow the moon was letting me know, its light is always there for me when I am willing to find it. To chase its light and allow it to fill me with hope and love and light. Letting me know in its mysterious way, there is always light when we are willing to adjust the way we view the world. Always. Namaste

The most beautiful things in life

This morning I woke up to one of those mornings when everything feels beautiful, wonderful and free. When my soul felt at one with the Universe and everything in it. When I understood the connection that exists between us all. When I understood that life is so simple yet so complex based on where we are in our growth. When my whole being was tingling like it was in perfect harmony with all that is, was and ever will be. I felt so blessed this morning. So grateful to be me. So grateful for everything that has happened in my life, is happening in my life and will happen in my life. So grateful for everyone that has been in my life, still remain in my life and will come into my life.
For this morning as I stood at my bathroom window looking out at all the abundance that is in my life from my husband walking in our yard looking at nature warming my heart. To the large Poinciana tree that we had cut back just a few years go to its branches and leaves now almost touching the ground looking like the perfect canopy - letting me know that sometimes we have to be cut back in order to blossom beyond where we had stagnated before. In that moment, I knew more than anything everything and everyone that have happened in my life have brought me to this place where I am right now. I was teary eyed not because I was unhappy; but because I felt such pure and unabiding joy. Joy that I chose to come here to live this life as me.
As the girl who ran carefree through the hills of first Cedar Hill then to White Hill. The girl who always had a book, a pen and paper in her hand who dreamed big dreams for herself. Until the unspeakable happened when her world was rocked when her mother died unexpectedly. To the young woman who knew no fear because she felt she had nothing to lose so she just went for it even when she was told she couldn't. To the one who had everything bad that could possibly happen, happen to her during her University years. To the lost one who discovered home was beckoning her back to Bermuda  - the place where she was not too big of a fish but a necessary fish to help her to grow that much more. To the angels that came and stayed in her life - her mentor, who stands by her through thick and thin, her spirit mother who helps to open her eyes to the spiritual world that lives inside of us all waiting for us to recognise it, to the woman who opened the passionate side in her letting her know it was okay to be woman - okay to look up. Allowing her to be open in order to be receptive to the man who helped her to see herself for the first time, helped her to know she had much to offer and that she is love. To the many years of marriage they have endured together - not always pretty but full of love and connection nonetheless. To becoming mother to two of the most wonderful human beings she could ever connect with. To where she is now typing this blog. So full. So full of life. So full of love.
Listening to the sounds of life outside. Kiskadees singing. Someone mowing their lawn. The chick of the village chirping their little songs for the simple reason of acknowledging that they are alive. Windows flung open to allow the gentle breeze to waft through caressing my shoulders sending shivers down my spine. A shower passing through sending the smell of fresh rain through my window and into my being. Taking me to the quote I found a few days ago that was sent to me so that when this moment arrived,. I would understand why it came, "Why do we close our eyes when we pray, cry, kiss, dream? Because the most beautiful things in life are not seen but felt only by heart."
So true for me this morning. So very true as my whole being is resonating with the natural vibration that is the Universe. That is the interconnectedness of us all. That is the beauty of this life we lead. Sometimes we just need to stop so we can really feel life as it courses through us. As it teaches us to allow ourselves to be free to receive the gifts and treasures of the Universe that are always waiting, waiting for us to receive.
With gratitude and grace for this special moment this morning, Namaste.

Abusive relationships are caused by two broken people

I have debated about whether to write this blog. Debated about whether I wanted to weigh in on the whole Rice domestic violence situation. Debated about whether I wanted to open that Pandora's Box again in my own life. But because I am meant to share my feelings based on a time in my life when I was involved in an abusive relationship, I had to pursue the first sentence that came to my head this morning. The first sentence I wrote to this blog. I tried shifting my mind elsewhere. Tried finding something else to write about but nothing else came so I am following my ritual and going where my mind wants me to go.
I have read with interest the comments that have come out about the whole Rice/ NFL situation despite trying not to. Despite trying to stay away but when the story is repeated over and over again and the photos keep catching my eye, I know their story is my story. The story I had the advantage of being able to work through in private rather than having to face the public scrutiny of the world. I am writing more so because I saw the fear in the eyes of Mrs. Rice and the fear in the eyes of her abuser, Mr. Rice - as they faced the world about a private and shameful part of their lives. A fear I knew all too well when I was involved in an abusive relationship. A fear that can be very dangerous if not dealt with in a compassionate manner.
The one thing I really worry about now that their dirty little secret has been aired for the whole world to see is what happens next? I worry about the daughter they have who may not understand it now but will when she is older. When she potentially will be bullied or will bully because people will probably tease her about her abusive father. About her fallen father. Her disgraced father all because everyone else condemned and judged a relationship that is really none of our business. None of anyone's business but the Rice couple themselves.
I am surprised by the venom coming from people. The judgement against him. The judgement against her. Having been in an abusive relationship myself, what I know for sure is there are two people who cause the abuse to happen and two people who allow it to continue to happen. And the two people are exclusively the people involved in the relationship. I also know the only way the abuse will stop is when the two people in the relationship want it to stop. No amount of outside intervention, pressure or judgement will stop the behaviour that is occurring in an abusive relationship. All that outside intervention will do is cause the abuse to continue and in some cases escalate because what people who have never been in an abusive relationship fail to know is that both people in the relationship are broken. Both are fragile. Both are insecure.
The abuser uses his power in ways that are not good. He or she wields such control and power over the abusee that the abusee begins to cower even more and comes to expect to be abused. And in a perverse way, the abusee does things unknowingly and unwittingly to provoke being abused because that is the only way she knows she is loved and needed. Domestic violence - abusive relationships develop between two very insecure people who are trying their hardest to be tough to the outside world. Trying to portray an image that is not them. Trying so hard to be what everyone else wants them to be that once they get behind closed doors, the pressure becomes too much for them to bear that they lash out at each other until the anger is so great that the only way they know how to diffuse it is to abuse. To control each other. Both feeling like they are the victims in the exchange.
The abuser feeling like he is not heard so he lashes out to gain  his power back. The abusee feeling like she is not heard and keeps screaming or provoking until the abuser stops her from attacking by attacking. Both attacking each other in ways no one outside of an abusive relationship could ever understand.
The abusee after the incident carries the physical scars on her face and/or body, shame in his heart, despair in her soul for the broken life he leads. While the abuser carries the mental scars of what he or she has done. And the cycle repeats itself over and over again until one gets out. Until one realises there is more to life than being tormented. But even when the one gets out, unless she works on herself to discover what it is he is running from, she will seek out another abuser. Another controller and find himself right back in the same situation . Only this time with a different face.
So when I see the pain on the faces of the Rice couple, I know their journey is nowhere done. I know they are still fragile. And what makes it worse for their healing, their growth is that the whole world got to see them at their weakest point. I know some of you will argue that he is a monster and she a victim and that he deserves to lose his job. But having been in an abusive relationship, what I fear is what will happen to them both now? Two people who have been exposed to the world for their insecurities who have not been able to face them in private. Will they combust? Will they turn on each other even more? Could they be driven to a murder suicide situation?
I worry about the lack of compassion being shown to this couple - young couple - who suddenly find themselves thrust into the spotlight for a situation that was a private moment but because nothing is private anymore, all of us got to see. Believe me, I am not condoning what was done but I do believe all we saw was a small bit of what has been happening in their lives. I just hope they both get the help they need to grow, to understand why they were attracted to each other and stayed with each other knowing what they were capable of doing to each other.
I just hope these young people's lives have not been destroyed because we, as the public, were so hungry to judge them, to cast them out so much so that we became the abusers as well. Only getting satisfaction when the man who we call the abuser was fired from his job. Leaving him in a place where he may never be able to support his family again. Leaving him exposed to the whole world with a wife and a child. Escalating his insecurities even more. All I hope is they get the help they need.
Domestic violence is prevalent - more so than we will ever know-  and the reason it is, is because two broken people are attracted to each other and the only way they know how to resolve their brokenness is to break each other physically and mentally. To bring each other down to the place they understand. And there is no amount of outside intervention that can help unless one or both people in the abusive relationship are ready to face their demons. I know because that was the only way I got out. The only way I was able to end the cycle was to work on me and to continue to work on me until I felt worthy enough to be in a relationship that I did not need to be abused in order to feel loved.
I just hope and pray the Rices are able to do the same. I am sharing my story and feelings about being involved in an abusive relationship because I hope in doing so, I can help someone involved in one in private to know she is not alone. That he is not a bad person; just a broken person who needs help. Because as this wonderful African proverb says, "When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you."

When we look

When we look
Look
Deep inside
Deep
Deep
Inside
Our soul
We discover
There is so much
So much
Waiting for us
Waiting for us
To unlock
To discover
To see
To feel
To know
About
Who we are
What we are
Why we are
Where we are
When we take the time
To look
To really look
And examine
Ourselves
We understand
We always
Always
Hold the key
The key
To unlock
Our identity
That identity
So unique to who we are
And who we are not
That allows us to stop
To really stop
Following the flock
And instead
Gives us the strength
The permission
Even when we are lost
And afraid
To step out
Out from the darkness
Out into the light
Allowing us to be
Where our hearts are free
Our souls open
Our eyes wide
Exactly where
We are meant to be
Always meant to be
Always have been
Not in the darkness
Hiding from ourselves
Afraid to fail
Afraid to be
Who we are
Forgetting that failure
Is not to stop us
But to help us
To grow
Into the person
We asked
To come here to be
When we take the time
To stop
To look
To really look
In our own eyes
We see lurking
Deep
Deep down
Our essence self
Beckoning us
Asking us
To stop
To see
Who we are
Really are
To be
Who we are
Really are
Beneath the protective layers
Beneath the persona
To our core
Showing us
There are infinite possibilities
Waiting
Waiting
Just for us
When we stop
Truly stop
And look
Deep
Deep within
Where all the answers lie
Where the truth resides
Waiting for us
And only us
To find who we are
Why we are
What we are
Where we are
When we look
Look
Deep
Deep Within

So grateful to be part of the gratitude chain

There is a natural goodness in us all. A natural peace in us all. And every once in a while that natural goodness combines with that natural peace and does something like what is occurring on Facebook right now. Someone started a chain of gratitude that is spreading like wildfire and I am honored to be a part of this chain. Of this group that is spreading love and light in our own individual ways.
By expressing our individual gratitude, we are adding to the collective consciousness that is all of us. And by connecting, we are increasing the positive vibration. The positive vibration that will help to shift the way we feel as a whole. Shifting us from a place of scarcity to a place of abundance.
Normally I try to stay away from chains. However this chain is one that resonates with me from a deeper level because I know how effective and life changing expressing gratitude can be. I began my grateful journal during a very dark time in my life and at first it was really difficult to find anything to be grateful for. But each day I found it became easier and easier to find something to be grateful for. I also discovered the more grateful I am, the more doors open for me.
Today is my fifth and last day of the challenge and I am so glad I took part in a public way in expressing my gratitude. Even though my challenge ends today, my expression of gratitude will not.
As many of you know I have been writing a grateful journal every day for the last 18 years. And I have to say that it is this practice every night that helps to ground me. Helps to keep me to from sinking into the pits of darkness.
Over the years of practicing this nightly ritual before going to bed, I find I am able to shift my feelings of sadness and emptiness to feelings of fullness. To fully feel those days when everything goes right. The minute I start to write my gratitude for the day, I feel my whole being shifting because I know there is always something to be grateful for. Always. And it is this ritual that reminds me that there is always something good occurring in our lives. Always something to be grateful for. Allowing me to see through through the darkness into the light.
Taking the time each day to write what I am grateful for teaches me every single day that life is truly good even on those days when we feel like nothing is going right in our lives. On those days when someone does something unkind that makes us question who we are and what was the point of the act. It is those days when I realise the simplest gestures, the simplest acts are the ones that I am the most grateful for. Like waking up. Breathing. Seeing another day. My family. My home. Love.
So for those who have taken up the challenge to express gratitude for 5 days publicly, I hope you will continue to tap into the natural goodness and peace that are innate in us all by continuing to express gratitude for everything and everyone that come into your lives as I do every single day.
The practice of gratitude allows me to accept that everything and everyone, even those who we believe may not be good, come to teach us something about who we are and who we are not. So for whatever the act may be or the circumstance may be, when we express gratitude for it coming into our lives, we accept we are on a learning path just as they are. We accept that life is full of ups and downs, mishaps and wrong turns but each one of these things is helping us to grow into who we are. And away from who we are not.
Gratitude helps us to see this and to feel and know we are worthy. Hopefully this chain of expressing public gratitude will help those who have not practiced gratitude before to continue to do. Because expressing gratitude teaches us there is always, always something to be grateful for. And for me it is one of the most liberating things I do for my soul because it reconnects me to the One Source from where we all emanate every single night just before I close my eyes and go to sleep.
May gratitude always have a place in our lives and for this chain of gratitude for introducing many to the practice, I am truly grateful. Namaste

In the richness of the Harvest, Pisces Moon

Last night at 10.38 I rushed to the door of my bedroom to admire the light of the Harvest Moon at its peak. I stood taking in its light. My husband came and stood by me and took my hand and led me outside where we stood together, holding each other as we faced the light of the moon together. Waves of love and light spreading through me as we stood in silence. Taking in all the energy the moon and the atmosphere had to offer. And then when he was done, he walked back inside. Neither of us speaking. Neither of us feeling the need to speak as we each took from the moment that which was meant for us individually as well as what was meant to be shared together as a couple.
After my husband went inside, I realised I had been afraid to go outside on my own. Afraid of the frogs - I mean I do love Mr. Kingpin being around but I don't want him to hop on me. But once my husband had led me outside, the fear disappeared and instead was replaced by a strength and fearlessness that is hard to describe. A connection to the all that is ever present replaced all of my human limitations with the possibility that goes way beyond them.
As I stood in silence facing the light of the moon with a C shaped reddy orange light seemingly illuminating it even more and holding it up, I looked at the clouds that had formed just beneath the moon and felt like it was taking me into another dimension. A dimension within a dimension. The cloud formation layered like it was something celestial that was full of all that is, was and ever will be. Almost like a stairway to the Original Source.
Then my eyes were drawn to a latticework like formation of clouds to the right of the moon. As I stared at the clouds, an intense feeling of dread went through me as the clouds looked quite menacing. Evil almost with a face that looked demonic. Interrupting my moment of peace with a feeling of absolute terror as the clouds seemed to have these piercing eyes with stars as pupils and a mouth that was shaped in an O. The O seeming like the gateway to infinity. Its presence somehow snaking into my being - sending waves of heat through my body. Not releasing me until it was ready. Until I was ready.
But then just like that, I was released from the spell of the menacing cloud and  my eyes were drawn further to the right where I found solace in another cloud formation. This cloud formation was in the shape of my long gone Mysty Blue, my rabbit. Filling me with joy. Relief even after having experienced the terror of the evil cloud formation. Mysty wiping away my fear all together as she sat looking down over me in the night sky. Filling me with love. And once again peace returned.
I stood for ages looking at the night sky realizing that when I first came out, I could not really see anything except the moon and the stars of the night sky. But in the time I had been out there, my eyesight had adjusted to the night light and all around me was illuminated. Everything full of light. Allowing me to accept even in our darkest times, there is always light when we are patient enough and allow ourselves to be at one with where we are, there is always light.
I thought about the menacing cloud formation that had long since dissipated and how that cloud formation had been right next to my Mysty cloud formation and realized the Universe had been sending me a message. And that message was even where there is evil, there is always good. If we allow ourselves to see through the bad that is happening, we will always find good.
Feelings of hope and inspiration spread through me as I knew the Harvest Moon had drawn me outside so that I could see and understand that life is full of good and evil, darkness and light but when I allow myself to surrender to experience what I am meant to experience, I will see there is always truth and light even when I feel I am facing my darkest night. That there is remedy for everything within reach.
Last night I stood in the light of the Harvest moon, turning from front to back, left to right, trying to take in the fullness of its light, the richness of its message and understood that there is so much out there that resides within me. I understood totally that there is no need to feel less than because I am part of the vastness that exists. I am the Harvest moon, the menacing cloud,  the cloud formation that was my Mysty, the C shaped reddy orange light that held up the moon, the atmosphere. I am all that exists and that makes me special as it does you, As it does all of us.
In gratitude for my moment with the Harvest Moon, the Pisces moon, the spirit of my son born under the Pisces star sign for allowing me to understand the richness and the complexity of life are all there waiting for me to live, to be, to embrace. To know I am much more than the physical. I am all. As are you. As are we all. In the richness of the Harvest, Pisces Moon, I say Namaste