So grateful to be part of the gratitude chain

There is a natural goodness in us all. A natural peace in us all. And every once in a while that natural goodness combines with that natural peace and does something like what is occurring on Facebook right now. Someone started a chain of gratitude that is spreading like wildfire and I am honored to be a part of this chain. Of this group that is spreading love and light in our own individual ways.
By expressing our individual gratitude, we are adding to the collective consciousness that is all of us. And by connecting, we are increasing the positive vibration. The positive vibration that will help to shift the way we feel as a whole. Shifting us from a place of scarcity to a place of abundance.
Normally I try to stay away from chains. However this chain is one that resonates with me from a deeper level because I know how effective and life changing expressing gratitude can be. I began my grateful journal during a very dark time in my life and at first it was really difficult to find anything to be grateful for. But each day I found it became easier and easier to find something to be grateful for. I also discovered the more grateful I am, the more doors open for me.
Today is my fifth and last day of the challenge and I am so glad I took part in a public way in expressing my gratitude. Even though my challenge ends today, my expression of gratitude will not.
As many of you know I have been writing a grateful journal every day for the last 18 years. And I have to say that it is this practice every night that helps to ground me. Helps to keep me to from sinking into the pits of darkness.
Over the years of practicing this nightly ritual before going to bed, I find I am able to shift my feelings of sadness and emptiness to feelings of fullness. To fully feel those days when everything goes right. The minute I start to write my gratitude for the day, I feel my whole being shifting because I know there is always something to be grateful for. Always. And it is this ritual that reminds me that there is always something good occurring in our lives. Always something to be grateful for. Allowing me to see through through the darkness into the light.
Taking the time each day to write what I am grateful for teaches me every single day that life is truly good even on those days when we feel like nothing is going right in our lives. On those days when someone does something unkind that makes us question who we are and what was the point of the act. It is those days when I realise the simplest gestures, the simplest acts are the ones that I am the most grateful for. Like waking up. Breathing. Seeing another day. My family. My home. Love.
So for those who have taken up the challenge to express gratitude for 5 days publicly, I hope you will continue to tap into the natural goodness and peace that are innate in us all by continuing to express gratitude for everything and everyone that come into your lives as I do every single day.
The practice of gratitude allows me to accept that everything and everyone, even those who we believe may not be good, come to teach us something about who we are and who we are not. So for whatever the act may be or the circumstance may be, when we express gratitude for it coming into our lives, we accept we are on a learning path just as they are. We accept that life is full of ups and downs, mishaps and wrong turns but each one of these things is helping us to grow into who we are. And away from who we are not.
Gratitude helps us to see this and to feel and know we are worthy. Hopefully this chain of expressing public gratitude will help those who have not practiced gratitude before to continue to do. Because expressing gratitude teaches us there is always, always something to be grateful for. And for me it is one of the most liberating things I do for my soul because it reconnects me to the One Source from where we all emanate every single night just before I close my eyes and go to sleep.
May gratitude always have a place in our lives and for this chain of gratitude for introducing many to the practice, I am truly grateful. Namaste

In the richness of the Harvest, Pisces Moon

Last night at 10.38 I rushed to the door of my bedroom to admire the light of the Harvest Moon at its peak. I stood taking in its light. My husband came and stood by me and took my hand and led me outside where we stood together, holding each other as we faced the light of the moon together. Waves of love and light spreading through me as we stood in silence. Taking in all the energy the moon and the atmosphere had to offer. And then when he was done, he walked back inside. Neither of us speaking. Neither of us feeling the need to speak as we each took from the moment that which was meant for us individually as well as what was meant to be shared together as a couple.
After my husband went inside, I realised I had been afraid to go outside on my own. Afraid of the frogs - I mean I do love Mr. Kingpin being around but I don't want him to hop on me. But once my husband had led me outside, the fear disappeared and instead was replaced by a strength and fearlessness that is hard to describe. A connection to the all that is ever present replaced all of my human limitations with the possibility that goes way beyond them.
As I stood in silence facing the light of the moon with a C shaped reddy orange light seemingly illuminating it even more and holding it up, I looked at the clouds that had formed just beneath the moon and felt like it was taking me into another dimension. A dimension within a dimension. The cloud formation layered like it was something celestial that was full of all that is, was and ever will be. Almost like a stairway to the Original Source.
Then my eyes were drawn to a latticework like formation of clouds to the right of the moon. As I stared at the clouds, an intense feeling of dread went through me as the clouds looked quite menacing. Evil almost with a face that looked demonic. Interrupting my moment of peace with a feeling of absolute terror as the clouds seemed to have these piercing eyes with stars as pupils and a mouth that was shaped in an O. The O seeming like the gateway to infinity. Its presence somehow snaking into my being - sending waves of heat through my body. Not releasing me until it was ready. Until I was ready.
But then just like that, I was released from the spell of the menacing cloud and  my eyes were drawn further to the right where I found solace in another cloud formation. This cloud formation was in the shape of my long gone Mysty Blue, my rabbit. Filling me with joy. Relief even after having experienced the terror of the evil cloud formation. Mysty wiping away my fear all together as she sat looking down over me in the night sky. Filling me with love. And once again peace returned.
I stood for ages looking at the night sky realizing that when I first came out, I could not really see anything except the moon and the stars of the night sky. But in the time I had been out there, my eyesight had adjusted to the night light and all around me was illuminated. Everything full of light. Allowing me to accept even in our darkest times, there is always light when we are patient enough and allow ourselves to be at one with where we are, there is always light.
I thought about the menacing cloud formation that had long since dissipated and how that cloud formation had been right next to my Mysty cloud formation and realized the Universe had been sending me a message. And that message was even where there is evil, there is always good. If we allow ourselves to see through the bad that is happening, we will always find good.
Feelings of hope and inspiration spread through me as I knew the Harvest Moon had drawn me outside so that I could see and understand that life is full of good and evil, darkness and light but when I allow myself to surrender to experience what I am meant to experience, I will see there is always truth and light even when I feel I am facing my darkest night. That there is remedy for everything within reach.
Last night I stood in the light of the Harvest moon, turning from front to back, left to right, trying to take in the fullness of its light, the richness of its message and understood that there is so much out there that resides within me. I understood totally that there is no need to feel less than because I am part of the vastness that exists. I am the Harvest moon, the menacing cloud,  the cloud formation that was my Mysty, the C shaped reddy orange light that held up the moon, the atmosphere. I am all that exists and that makes me special as it does you, As it does all of us.
In gratitude for my moment with the Harvest Moon, the Pisces moon, the spirit of my son born under the Pisces star sign for allowing me to understand the richness and the complexity of life are all there waiting for me to live, to be, to embrace. To know I am much more than the physical. I am all. As are you. As are we all. In the richness of the Harvest, Pisces Moon, I say Namaste

Life is definitely coloured by the lens through which we view it

Life is definitely coloured by the lens through which we view it. We determine what we see, feel and hear by the way we approach life. Some of us look at life from a perspective of gratitude and harmony. Others, no matter how much they have, are always looking for more. And because of this become envious of others very quickly by overlooking all they have been blessed with.
This weekend was one of those weekends that allowed me to recognise just how much I have to be grateful for. Just how much I have that is so right compared to what it so wrong. It was a weekend of family togetherness. Each of us coming out of our rooms, out of our individual spaces and being together. Truly together. Saturday, our daughter wanted to take her friends out on our little boat. Swelling my husband's heart that she wanted to not only go out on his new baby; but she wanted to invite friends along too. So as a result, my son and I were roped into going by my husband to chaperon and to help with the lines on the boat.
Before going, my son and  I were both thinking we had better things to do than to go out on the boat but we went along reluctantly. Not wanting to ruin Sedona's joy. And were both of us glad we did. We both ended up really enjoying being out on the water. The ocean was so clear we could see right to the bottom. The atmosphere perfect. The sky oh so blue. When we anchored the boat in the beautiful and picturesque Paradise Lakes, even the fish came along to enjoy our party as a school of grunts with some snappers swam alongside the boat. The water too inviting for us to remain on the boat, so all of us went in for a swim. The water refreshing. All of us playing in the water and having a great time together.
Yes you read right - me in the water - the non water person - twice in one week! And I thoroughly enjoyed myself even swimming out to a buoy with my husband and the children. Well not really swimming but paddling along in my own way but feeling very proud of myself for doing so.
Then yesterday was my husband's job family fun day at the beach. Again taking us near to the ocean. Looking out over the beach seeing all the people basking in the sun, families outside enjoying themselves together the good old fashioned way without a lot of extravagance, again my heart felt full. I felt like the luckiest person in the world to be born in a place where there is more sunshine than there is rain ( well almost except for the month of August). Where there is the beautiful ocean that surrounds us everyday. Pink sand beaches that feels so soft against my feet. Where there is so much greenery because of the August rains - everything looks so lush. So full . So abundant.
My daughter brought along one of her girlfriends with her and they stayed in the water the whole time. Their hands wrinkled by the time they got out. My son, who normally stays in his room, spent the afternoon in the water as well. The three of them snorkelling together appreciating the beautiful fish swimming in the water from large parrot fish to cow fish to yellow grunts. When my son came out of the water, he said, he wishes he could live in  the water, he loves it so much. My Pisces son who I reminded of his birth sign telling him he truly is a fish at heart.
Just as the fun day was coming to an end, the heavens opened and the rain came down. A good downpour just to cool the air a bit. The children stayed in the ocean not even bothered by the rain while my husband and I sat under the tents also not bothered by the rain as we laughed and chatted with people that were there. Making new friends, reacquainting with others.
As we were leaving the fun day, the rain clouds long since vanished and the sun out in full, we came across a lady with her children and she commented on the party noodles I had in my hand asking me if we had enjoyed the party. I believe she was a tourist. I told her we had. I then asked her how her day had been. To which she responded, "It was good until the rain came."
I have to admit I was taken aback by her comment. I could not believe she had allowed a downpour which had lasted all of about half an hour to colour her day. To not appreciate that the rain came for such a short time during the day that it seemed so insignificant to the rest of the beautiful sunny, picture perfect day.
I answered her by saying, "And  look what came after the rain, this beautiful evening."
As we were driving back home, we talked about the woman and how she had allowed such a short time of rain to be what she remembered from the day. Making me realise that sometimes we focus on what goes wrong rather than on what goes right. We allow the smallest mishap to colour our view of the world rather than looking at all that goes well.
If only we could remember to focus on that which makes us feel good rather than on what does not and to express gratitude for all we have rather than being anxious for what we do not, what a wonderful world it would be.
It's Monday morning let's all try to express gratitude for all that we have. For waking up this morning. Rather than being angry or vengeful for what we don't have. Because I truly believe life is coloured by the lens through which we look. So it is up to us to change the lens in order to have the life we really want.
Happy Monday everyone and have a wonderful week filled with gratitude and love. Focussing on our blessings rather than on our trials, changing the lens through which we see life, so we can truly see just how much we have to be grateful for. Namaste

Compassion is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves

The greatest gift we can give to ourselves and to the world is compassion. So many of us spend so much time finding fault in others. Judging others. Waiting for them to do something wrong. Hoping they do something wrong so we can swoop in like a murder of crows and pick over the carnage. Gleeful they faltered while we remain unscathed. So we falsely believe.
So many of us spend so much time trying to make ourselves feel important by diminishing the light of others. Without realizing that when we do this, we are actually diminishing the light for not just the one but for us all.
Compassion teaches us to see the world through the eyes of others. To feel their pain. To understand that they are doing the best they can and sometimes they will mess us just as we will. Forgetting that the only way to escape making a mistake is to stay in our lane and never move outside of it while dying of boredom on the inside. When we step outside of our lane, we will find situations we have never encountered before and therefore we may err in our ways. Helping us to accept none of us are perfect. None of us get it right 100% of the time.
Therefore it is not up to us to condemn anyone unless they make it a practice of condemning themselves and others as well. Because when we condemn and they condemn all that is created is oppression and a lot of bad energy. A vicious cycle of bad karma that never ends.
I am getting so tired of people who put themselves in the middle of everyone else's drama and then wonder why all they see is drama. Drama loves to be with drama because it is so much easier to focus on the shortcomings of others than it is so see our own shortcomings and work on them. By projecting over there we falsely believe we are taking the light off ourselves. Taking the heat away from ourselves but in fact the opposite happens - we bring the shortcoming into our hearts where it stays and grows. Until we find we can't breathe anymore without disrupting someone else's life to deflect away from us.
If only we could practice compassion more and see that when people make mistakes, when people fail, they are doing so so they can learn. So they can grow. So they can understand more about themselves. It is not for anyone else to judge them. Not for anyone else to try to bring them down. Not for anyone to spread malicious gossip about them. It is a cry for help sometimes as well.
So instead of contributing to the negative energy that comes from bringing another down, why don't we learn and practice compassion instead. Helping rather than hindering. Growing together rather than keeping each other down in the dark pits of loathing and wondering why the sun never shines on us. Wondering why everyone else has good luck rather than us.
If we look at those who bask in the sunlight, those whose lives are moving on, we will discover it is because they are looking out for the best interests of  themselves and then they extend those feelings to those who cross their paths. Not afraid to share the light with others because they know there is an abundance of light, not a scarcity. they live life knowing there is enough light for everyone. They understand there is no need to throw anyone in the shade in order for the light to remain on them.
So next time, we are drawn into drama, think about how we would feel if we were the subject of the drama being created and if we would not like it, then we need to walk away from those who lurk in the dark shadows hoping to pull anyone with light into their dark and malicious world. And instead we need to find those who know there is an abundance and light and be with them.
Only then will we be able to shift our energy from one of darkness to light. Only then will we be able to bask in the sunshine and come out of the pits of darkness. Only then will we know compassion, love and light because we honestly want it for ourselves and in wanting it for ourselves we are happy when others receive it as well.

Who are we anyway?

Who are we anyway
What gives one of us the desire to triumph over another at the expense of the other
Why do we look at each other from a point of envy
Of wanting to win over the other
Leave the other behind
When really we need each other
Who are we anyway
What are we really here to do
Why do we put a face on in front of one and don another in front of others
Why do we not remain true to who we are
When being someone else exhausts us and makes us hurt on the inside
Why do we think it is easier to be someone that we are not
Who are we anyway
Particularly when we stand still long enough
And observe fully that as we age
As we mature
We learn no matter how hard we try to run
No matter how hard we try to hide from the truth
From our truth
Life has a funny way of always bringing us face to face with who we are
Whether we are ready to see who we are or not
Because if we continue to hide behind the veils
Continue to be who we are not
Eventually we are brought face to face with ourselves
By being rejected, shunned, or ostracized by the very people we are pretending in front of
Because eventually they get tired of our two facedness
Eventually they get tired of our shenanigans
And we are left standing
Standing all alone
Wondering what happened
Questioning who we are and why we are here
Standing in front of the mirror
Trying hard to put the shattered pieces of ourselves back together again
Unable to fully see who we are
Unable to come to terms with the image that is staring back at us
The broken one
Broken into millions of little pieces
Fragile as hell
That's why it is so much better for us to question who we are really
To be brave enough to remain silent to listen to the answer that comes back
To allow ourselves to feel the vibes when we are in places and with people that do nothing for us
That disappoint us because we thought they were one way when in fact they are another
Nothing like what we thought
But then it is not up to us to condemn them or judge them
No, it is up to us to find those who make us happy
Those who accept us for who we are
Those who bring us joy
Those who will be in our corner no matter what
Those who truly bring light into our lives
So that we can bring light into our own lives and then share it with them
Giving and receiving
Sharing
Reciprocating
Not just taking
Who are we anyway
What are we here to do
Are we here to support each other
Are we here to remember that ultimately we are all one
That what we do to one
We do to all
Because our energy is universally connected
Our lives spring from the same core
Allowing us to remember
Absent of ego
We recognize we are all
And all is us
Opening us to know
That is who we are
That is why we are
There is no one
There is only everyone
Who are we anyway
We are anyway
Because we are always
Who we are
Where we are

Every day I am learning more about myself

Every day I learn more about myself as a person through parenting my children. Every day I come face to face with some childhood scar that remains deep down below the surface when I am parenting. All the things that went wrong for me, I want more than anything to protect my children from ever experiencing. Every hurt I had, I want to protect my children from experiencing. And some days I get it wrong. Some days I project myself too much on my children and I end up hurting them more than I ever intended. And when that happens I feel hurt, like a failure.
I feel like I have failed them as a mother when I see the pain in their faces for decisions I have made that impact them. I feel so sad that I have taken away a discovery they may have made on their own without me intervening. Without me trying to right their wrongs for them before they happen rather than letting them go out and face the wrong so they can know what they are capable of and what they are not.
And in those instances where I do, when I feel their pain and see their pain, I am learning to apologize to them. I am learning to tell them that it is very hard being a parent. Very hard tying to strike the balance between letting them fall and being there to pick them up and intervening to cushion their fall.
I am learning that no matter how grown we are when I see my children about to plunge into something that I know will scar them, my inner frightened child emerges and wants to take the hands of my children and pull them through the wilderness unscathed. Child to child. shielding them from the pain. But what I am learning through my children is that I am not meant to be there to direct. I am only meant to be there to guide. To give them the tools to make informed decisions about the circumstances they may find themselves in.So that they don't walk into any situation where I have background that could put them at risk. That could leave them vulnerable and exposed.
I am learning that parenting is not just limited to me nor my husband. I am learning that parenting shifts from parent to child and from child to parent on occasions because we are all parenting each other. All learning and teaching each other and teaching and learning each other. And when we recognise this important piece of the puzzle for parenting, we find we learn something new every single day about ourselves. We accept that the pain we experienced as children helped us to grow into the adults we are today and sometimes there are experiences our children must go through in order to learn compassion and how to go on even after experiencing  horrible hurt.
On those days when I feel like I have failed as a parent, I am learning that that failure is allowing a breakthrough for me and for my children because the failure is opening the door for us to explore something more about each other that would not have been possible before. What I am also learning is that we have to let our children know when we have overstepped the boundaries and let them know we have confidence in them to be who they came here to be. Making them aware that sometimes we will get it wrong as parents because we are human. And because we are human we will make mistakes.Just like they will.
Parenting is one of the hardest roles I will ever have because it means I have to look at myself every single day to determine if I am setting the example for my children to go out into the world equipped to deal with whatever comes their way. I have to examine my actions to make sure my children see compassion, love, giving, forgiving and most of all vulnerability. Because I am learning over and over again that it is not what we say to our children that matters, it is how we live that matters because that's what stays with them. That's what they will emulate. That's what grows them into who they become.
And most of all I accept every day I am learning more about myself through the eyes of my children when I see their expressions reflected back to me about the effect I have on their lives. And some days I do better than others I know. But that's the challenge - the challenge of being a parent - a good parent, an effective parent. A parent that understands there is a delicate balance between living my children's lives for them by directing them every step of the way and allowing my children to live their lives by guiding them so they can make informed decisions about what is good for them and what is not. So they can grow wings to be whomever they came here to be; not who I, or anyone else, wants them to be.

War does not beget peace

No matter how hard we try to stay away from drama

No matter how hard we want to live a life of peace

There are those who thrive on drama

And do not and cannot know peace

Because if they were to surrender to peace

They would have to surrender to themselves

And really work on themselves

And that requires some real soul searching 

That many cannot handle

Because it is so much easier in their minds

To blame everyone else for where they find themselves

So instead they focus on creating drama

Because it takes them away from the lives they do not have

The lives they feel trapped in

And so they seek out the peacemakers

Because they want to prove 

There is no such thing as a peacemaker

No such thing as peace

Because it eludes them

So it must not be true in  their minds

And they are hell bent on proving its untruth

No matter who they sweep up in their wake

No matter how many lives they destroy

Relationships they may ruin

They chip away and chip away until they find an opening

A way to get into the peacemaker's lives

And try their best to disrupt the peaceful way the peacemaker lives

They try their best to show to the world 

Peacemakers are not peaceful

Not peaceful at all

But what they don't realise is 

Peacemakers are always at peace 

Even when they aren't

Peacemakers don't have to prove anything to anyone

Peacemakers know they are at peace from a place deep down inside

They also know that sometimes

There is no way to stop

No way to stop

The inevitable from happening

That in some instances 

They can't protect themselves forever from having to confront

That which is seeking them

That which is anxious to confront them

Peacemakers know there are those who are trying 

And wanting more than anything to confront them

Pull them into their drama

And reduce them to their level

But peacemakers know even when confronted

That the only way to confront the one who wants to confront

Is to be who they are at all times

To remain grounded in their beliefs

Remain true to the values they represent

No matter how hard the one who wants to confront

Wants to drag the peacemakers into the mud

No matter how hard the one who wants to confront tries to ensnare the peacemakers

And pull them into their murky world

Throughout it all when peacemakers remain true to who they are

No matter how hard the war makers try

Peacemakers know the war makers will eventually exhaust themselves

Revealing their true intentions

And pull not the peacemakers 

But themselves out into the light

For the whole world to see

Peace is much greater than war

Because wars are not won until the wager of war

Learns to confront herself

Or himself 

Until the war maker recognizes that the only war being fought

Is the war with himself or herself
Peacemakers know in their heart of hearts

War does not destroy peace

Unless the peacemaker gives in to the battle 

That has nothing to do with her

Nothing to do with him

And becomes the war maker trying to find peace

Rather than remaining as the peacemaker

Who knows peace all along

And lives from a place of love and light

Compassion and Forgiveness

Not seeking to destroy anyone to make herself look better

But living life shining light onto himself 

Then sharing that light with those who so choose to embrace it
Knowing always

War does not beget peace

Only peace begets peace