Life is definitely coloured by the lens through which we view it

Life is definitely coloured by the lens through which we view it. We determine what we see, feel and hear by the way we approach life. Some of us look at life from a perspective of gratitude and harmony. Others, no matter how much they have, are always looking for more. And because of this become envious of others very quickly by overlooking all they have been blessed with.
This weekend was one of those weekends that allowed me to recognise just how much I have to be grateful for. Just how much I have that is so right compared to what it so wrong. It was a weekend of family togetherness. Each of us coming out of our rooms, out of our individual spaces and being together. Truly together. Saturday, our daughter wanted to take her friends out on our little boat. Swelling my husband's heart that she wanted to not only go out on his new baby; but she wanted to invite friends along too. So as a result, my son and I were roped into going by my husband to chaperon and to help with the lines on the boat.
Before going, my son and  I were both thinking we had better things to do than to go out on the boat but we went along reluctantly. Not wanting to ruin Sedona's joy. And were both of us glad we did. We both ended up really enjoying being out on the water. The ocean was so clear we could see right to the bottom. The atmosphere perfect. The sky oh so blue. When we anchored the boat in the beautiful and picturesque Paradise Lakes, even the fish came along to enjoy our party as a school of grunts with some snappers swam alongside the boat. The water too inviting for us to remain on the boat, so all of us went in for a swim. The water refreshing. All of us playing in the water and having a great time together.
Yes you read right - me in the water - the non water person - twice in one week! And I thoroughly enjoyed myself even swimming out to a buoy with my husband and the children. Well not really swimming but paddling along in my own way but feeling very proud of myself for doing so.
Then yesterday was my husband's job family fun day at the beach. Again taking us near to the ocean. Looking out over the beach seeing all the people basking in the sun, families outside enjoying themselves together the good old fashioned way without a lot of extravagance, again my heart felt full. I felt like the luckiest person in the world to be born in a place where there is more sunshine than there is rain ( well almost except for the month of August). Where there is the beautiful ocean that surrounds us everyday. Pink sand beaches that feels so soft against my feet. Where there is so much greenery because of the August rains - everything looks so lush. So full . So abundant.
My daughter brought along one of her girlfriends with her and they stayed in the water the whole time. Their hands wrinkled by the time they got out. My son, who normally stays in his room, spent the afternoon in the water as well. The three of them snorkelling together appreciating the beautiful fish swimming in the water from large parrot fish to cow fish to yellow grunts. When my son came out of the water, he said, he wishes he could live in  the water, he loves it so much. My Pisces son who I reminded of his birth sign telling him he truly is a fish at heart.
Just as the fun day was coming to an end, the heavens opened and the rain came down. A good downpour just to cool the air a bit. The children stayed in the ocean not even bothered by the rain while my husband and I sat under the tents also not bothered by the rain as we laughed and chatted with people that were there. Making new friends, reacquainting with others.
As we were leaving the fun day, the rain clouds long since vanished and the sun out in full, we came across a lady with her children and she commented on the party noodles I had in my hand asking me if we had enjoyed the party. I believe she was a tourist. I told her we had. I then asked her how her day had been. To which she responded, "It was good until the rain came."
I have to admit I was taken aback by her comment. I could not believe she had allowed a downpour which had lasted all of about half an hour to colour her day. To not appreciate that the rain came for such a short time during the day that it seemed so insignificant to the rest of the beautiful sunny, picture perfect day.
I answered her by saying, "And  look what came after the rain, this beautiful evening."
As we were driving back home, we talked about the woman and how she had allowed such a short time of rain to be what she remembered from the day. Making me realise that sometimes we focus on what goes wrong rather than on what goes right. We allow the smallest mishap to colour our view of the world rather than looking at all that goes well.
If only we could remember to focus on that which makes us feel good rather than on what does not and to express gratitude for all we have rather than being anxious for what we do not, what a wonderful world it would be.
It's Monday morning let's all try to express gratitude for all that we have. For waking up this morning. Rather than being angry or vengeful for what we don't have. Because I truly believe life is coloured by the lens through which we look. So it is up to us to change the lens in order to have the life we really want.
Happy Monday everyone and have a wonderful week filled with gratitude and love. Focussing on our blessings rather than on our trials, changing the lens through which we see life, so we can truly see just how much we have to be grateful for. Namaste

Compassion is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves

The greatest gift we can give to ourselves and to the world is compassion. So many of us spend so much time finding fault in others. Judging others. Waiting for them to do something wrong. Hoping they do something wrong so we can swoop in like a murder of crows and pick over the carnage. Gleeful they faltered while we remain unscathed. So we falsely believe.
So many of us spend so much time trying to make ourselves feel important by diminishing the light of others. Without realizing that when we do this, we are actually diminishing the light for not just the one but for us all.
Compassion teaches us to see the world through the eyes of others. To feel their pain. To understand that they are doing the best they can and sometimes they will mess us just as we will. Forgetting that the only way to escape making a mistake is to stay in our lane and never move outside of it while dying of boredom on the inside. When we step outside of our lane, we will find situations we have never encountered before and therefore we may err in our ways. Helping us to accept none of us are perfect. None of us get it right 100% of the time.
Therefore it is not up to us to condemn anyone unless they make it a practice of condemning themselves and others as well. Because when we condemn and they condemn all that is created is oppression and a lot of bad energy. A vicious cycle of bad karma that never ends.
I am getting so tired of people who put themselves in the middle of everyone else's drama and then wonder why all they see is drama. Drama loves to be with drama because it is so much easier to focus on the shortcomings of others than it is so see our own shortcomings and work on them. By projecting over there we falsely believe we are taking the light off ourselves. Taking the heat away from ourselves but in fact the opposite happens - we bring the shortcoming into our hearts where it stays and grows. Until we find we can't breathe anymore without disrupting someone else's life to deflect away from us.
If only we could practice compassion more and see that when people make mistakes, when people fail, they are doing so so they can learn. So they can grow. So they can understand more about themselves. It is not for anyone else to judge them. Not for anyone else to try to bring them down. Not for anyone to spread malicious gossip about them. It is a cry for help sometimes as well.
So instead of contributing to the negative energy that comes from bringing another down, why don't we learn and practice compassion instead. Helping rather than hindering. Growing together rather than keeping each other down in the dark pits of loathing and wondering why the sun never shines on us. Wondering why everyone else has good luck rather than us.
If we look at those who bask in the sunlight, those whose lives are moving on, we will discover it is because they are looking out for the best interests of  themselves and then they extend those feelings to those who cross their paths. Not afraid to share the light with others because they know there is an abundance of light, not a scarcity. they live life knowing there is enough light for everyone. They understand there is no need to throw anyone in the shade in order for the light to remain on them.
So next time, we are drawn into drama, think about how we would feel if we were the subject of the drama being created and if we would not like it, then we need to walk away from those who lurk in the dark shadows hoping to pull anyone with light into their dark and malicious world. And instead we need to find those who know there is an abundance and light and be with them.
Only then will we be able to shift our energy from one of darkness to light. Only then will we be able to bask in the sunshine and come out of the pits of darkness. Only then will we know compassion, love and light because we honestly want it for ourselves and in wanting it for ourselves we are happy when others receive it as well.

Who are we anyway?

Who are we anyway
What gives one of us the desire to triumph over another at the expense of the other
Why do we look at each other from a point of envy
Of wanting to win over the other
Leave the other behind
When really we need each other
Who are we anyway
What are we really here to do
Why do we put a face on in front of one and don another in front of others
Why do we not remain true to who we are
When being someone else exhausts us and makes us hurt on the inside
Why do we think it is easier to be someone that we are not
Who are we anyway
Particularly when we stand still long enough
And observe fully that as we age
As we mature
We learn no matter how hard we try to run
No matter how hard we try to hide from the truth
From our truth
Life has a funny way of always bringing us face to face with who we are
Whether we are ready to see who we are or not
Because if we continue to hide behind the veils
Continue to be who we are not
Eventually we are brought face to face with ourselves
By being rejected, shunned, or ostracized by the very people we are pretending in front of
Because eventually they get tired of our two facedness
Eventually they get tired of our shenanigans
And we are left standing
Standing all alone
Wondering what happened
Questioning who we are and why we are here
Standing in front of the mirror
Trying hard to put the shattered pieces of ourselves back together again
Unable to fully see who we are
Unable to come to terms with the image that is staring back at us
The broken one
Broken into millions of little pieces
Fragile as hell
That's why it is so much better for us to question who we are really
To be brave enough to remain silent to listen to the answer that comes back
To allow ourselves to feel the vibes when we are in places and with people that do nothing for us
That disappoint us because we thought they were one way when in fact they are another
Nothing like what we thought
But then it is not up to us to condemn them or judge them
No, it is up to us to find those who make us happy
Those who accept us for who we are
Those who bring us joy
Those who will be in our corner no matter what
Those who truly bring light into our lives
So that we can bring light into our own lives and then share it with them
Giving and receiving
Sharing
Reciprocating
Not just taking
Who are we anyway
What are we here to do
Are we here to support each other
Are we here to remember that ultimately we are all one
That what we do to one
We do to all
Because our energy is universally connected
Our lives spring from the same core
Allowing us to remember
Absent of ego
We recognize we are all
And all is us
Opening us to know
That is who we are
That is why we are
There is no one
There is only everyone
Who are we anyway
We are anyway
Because we are always
Who we are
Where we are

Every day I am learning more about myself

Every day I learn more about myself as a person through parenting my children. Every day I come face to face with some childhood scar that remains deep down below the surface when I am parenting. All the things that went wrong for me, I want more than anything to protect my children from ever experiencing. Every hurt I had, I want to protect my children from experiencing. And some days I get it wrong. Some days I project myself too much on my children and I end up hurting them more than I ever intended. And when that happens I feel hurt, like a failure.
I feel like I have failed them as a mother when I see the pain in their faces for decisions I have made that impact them. I feel so sad that I have taken away a discovery they may have made on their own without me intervening. Without me trying to right their wrongs for them before they happen rather than letting them go out and face the wrong so they can know what they are capable of and what they are not.
And in those instances where I do, when I feel their pain and see their pain, I am learning to apologize to them. I am learning to tell them that it is very hard being a parent. Very hard tying to strike the balance between letting them fall and being there to pick them up and intervening to cushion their fall.
I am learning that no matter how grown we are when I see my children about to plunge into something that I know will scar them, my inner frightened child emerges and wants to take the hands of my children and pull them through the wilderness unscathed. Child to child. shielding them from the pain. But what I am learning through my children is that I am not meant to be there to direct. I am only meant to be there to guide. To give them the tools to make informed decisions about the circumstances they may find themselves in.So that they don't walk into any situation where I have background that could put them at risk. That could leave them vulnerable and exposed.
I am learning that parenting is not just limited to me nor my husband. I am learning that parenting shifts from parent to child and from child to parent on occasions because we are all parenting each other. All learning and teaching each other and teaching and learning each other. And when we recognise this important piece of the puzzle for parenting, we find we learn something new every single day about ourselves. We accept that the pain we experienced as children helped us to grow into the adults we are today and sometimes there are experiences our children must go through in order to learn compassion and how to go on even after experiencing  horrible hurt.
On those days when I feel like I have failed as a parent, I am learning that that failure is allowing a breakthrough for me and for my children because the failure is opening the door for us to explore something more about each other that would not have been possible before. What I am also learning is that we have to let our children know when we have overstepped the boundaries and let them know we have confidence in them to be who they came here to be. Making them aware that sometimes we will get it wrong as parents because we are human. And because we are human we will make mistakes.Just like they will.
Parenting is one of the hardest roles I will ever have because it means I have to look at myself every single day to determine if I am setting the example for my children to go out into the world equipped to deal with whatever comes their way. I have to examine my actions to make sure my children see compassion, love, giving, forgiving and most of all vulnerability. Because I am learning over and over again that it is not what we say to our children that matters, it is how we live that matters because that's what stays with them. That's what they will emulate. That's what grows them into who they become.
And most of all I accept every day I am learning more about myself through the eyes of my children when I see their expressions reflected back to me about the effect I have on their lives. And some days I do better than others I know. But that's the challenge - the challenge of being a parent - a good parent, an effective parent. A parent that understands there is a delicate balance between living my children's lives for them by directing them every step of the way and allowing my children to live their lives by guiding them so they can make informed decisions about what is good for them and what is not. So they can grow wings to be whomever they came here to be; not who I, or anyone else, wants them to be.

War does not beget peace

No matter how hard we try to stay away from drama

No matter how hard we want to live a life of peace

There are those who thrive on drama

And do not and cannot know peace

Because if they were to surrender to peace

They would have to surrender to themselves

And really work on themselves

And that requires some real soul searching 

That many cannot handle

Because it is so much easier in their minds

To blame everyone else for where they find themselves

So instead they focus on creating drama

Because it takes them away from the lives they do not have

The lives they feel trapped in

And so they seek out the peacemakers

Because they want to prove 

There is no such thing as a peacemaker

No such thing as peace

Because it eludes them

So it must not be true in  their minds

And they are hell bent on proving its untruth

No matter who they sweep up in their wake

No matter how many lives they destroy

Relationships they may ruin

They chip away and chip away until they find an opening

A way to get into the peacemaker's lives

And try their best to disrupt the peaceful way the peacemaker lives

They try their best to show to the world 

Peacemakers are not peaceful

Not peaceful at all

But what they don't realise is 

Peacemakers are always at peace 

Even when they aren't

Peacemakers don't have to prove anything to anyone

Peacemakers know they are at peace from a place deep down inside

They also know that sometimes

There is no way to stop

No way to stop

The inevitable from happening

That in some instances 

They can't protect themselves forever from having to confront

That which is seeking them

That which is anxious to confront them

Peacemakers know there are those who are trying 

And wanting more than anything to confront them

Pull them into their drama

And reduce them to their level

But peacemakers know even when confronted

That the only way to confront the one who wants to confront

Is to be who they are at all times

To remain grounded in their beliefs

Remain true to the values they represent

No matter how hard the one who wants to confront

Wants to drag the peacemakers into the mud

No matter how hard the one who wants to confront tries to ensnare the peacemakers

And pull them into their murky world

Throughout it all when peacemakers remain true to who they are

No matter how hard the war makers try

Peacemakers know the war makers will eventually exhaust themselves

Revealing their true intentions

And pull not the peacemakers 

But themselves out into the light

For the whole world to see

Peace is much greater than war

Because wars are not won until the wager of war

Learns to confront herself

Or himself 

Until the war maker recognizes that the only war being fought

Is the war with himself or herself
Peacemakers know in their heart of hearts

War does not destroy peace

Unless the peacemaker gives in to the battle 

That has nothing to do with her

Nothing to do with him

And becomes the war maker trying to find peace

Rather than remaining as the peacemaker

Who knows peace all along

And lives from a place of love and light

Compassion and Forgiveness

Not seeking to destroy anyone to make herself look better

But living life shining light onto himself 

Then sharing that light with those who so choose to embrace it
Knowing always

War does not beget peace

Only peace begets peace

A wonderful end to summer vacation for my children

 Yesterday marked the end of the summer holiday for my children. Today marks the beginning of a new school year for them. As I have said many times in the past - to every ending there is a beginning and to every beginning there is an ending. Yesterday was a bitter sweet day. The sun came out in its full glory. Enticing us outside. Luring us to explore our beautiful island home as nature gave us the picture perfect day. Showing us Bermuda at her best. 

We decided to go out on our boat because the day was that perfect. The boat we had bought early in the summer but because our paths had taken us on so many different routes, we had not had the opportunity as a family, as the four of us, to go out on our boat together.
And me, being the non water person that I am, I was not that fussed about going out on it any how. But because it was the last day of the summer holiday for our children and nature was calling us outside, I acquiesced and went out with my family. We packed our bags full of goodies to take. Put on our bathing suits, normally a no no for me as well. But yesterday I did not feel normal. I felt daring. Adventurous. Ready to have fun. We had been marooned in for so long with rain that with the sun shining outside, I wanted to be the child that lives deep down inside me. We packed up the car and off we went. On our adventure. Off on our little red boat,  "Slow Roller".

After unpacking all of our stuff on our boat. Loading her up with stuff, we were off. Goofing around with the camera. Taking selfies, usies and photos of the beauty we found as we took a slow ride to wherever destiny saw fit to take us. No plans. No real decisions about where to go until we got out on the water and let Slow Roller go where we felt she needed to go. Lots of others had the same idea because there were loads of boats on the water and everyone seemed to be happy. Up for adventure. Up for exploring our beautiful Island home that looks even more spectacular from the water. Even the turtles wanted to be a part of the action as they seemed curious about all of us in their domain, so they kept popping their little heads above the water. Diving down when we got too close. Too fast for me to take a photo of them. But happy that I had the opportunity to see them. Feelings of gratitude washing over me as we motored happily along in our sturdy family red boat. 

Looking over the bow of the boat out at the expanse of the horizon, with my husband at the helm and my children happily chatting, I thought about how much I have to be grateful for. How could I not when I was surrounded by nature at her best. The colours of the ocean dazzling my eyes - blues almost indescribable, clouds like puffy pillows, clear clear ocean so that we could see the bottom shimmering like jewels. It was one of those days when I let all my inhibitions go and took off my cover up and jumped in the water. Well not exactly jumped. But I got in the water much to the surprise of my family. The woman who does not interfere with the water. Nor does she get wet. And she most certainly does not normally have on a two piece bikini. But yesterday she did. Yesterday I did. Playing in the water pretending I was a mermaid.

And you know what ladies, I think I found the solution to those wretched hot flashes as the water cooled my body temperature and the heat that normally has me feeling flushed. The water gently caressing my every hormone re-balancing them. Wish I had known sooner about this magical and free treatment for those dreaded hot flashes. I found myself feeling like a teenager again as age left me and was replaced by the girl who could rival my 11 year old. Happy is not even enough of a word to describe how I felt when I allowed myself to just let go and to float in the ocean. Closing my eyes and allowing the coolness of the water to bathe me in its love.  No photos though to show me in my glory but memories enough for me to treasure.

By letting go, I showed myself and my children that when we go with the flow of life, when we don't resist the urge to just do it, it's amazing how free we can feel.  how free we are and can be. How fear and apprehension take a back seat to life. To enjoying life. All four of us swimming in the water, frolicking, playing together. Laughing like 4 children rather than 2 parents and 2 children. Nature equalizing us for that short while as we played in its bounty.

As the pictures show we had a wonderful day out on the ocean so much so that even a heron came out to greet us and watched us as we docked the boat. Leaving me feeling so full. So full of all that life has to offer when we remember to slow down and smell the ocean. To be fully present. Not projecting into tomorrow. Nor living in the past. But to just enjoy all that life has to offer us when we remain in the moment rather than focusing on what is out there rather than on what is going on right here, right now in front of us. 

Yesterday was a bittersweet day because it marked the ending of our children's summer vacation  but it was also a day full of joy and surrender and family togetherness. Here's to a beautiful way to end the summer vacation with our children yesterday arming them with lots of memories and love as they start their new school year today with love and light. As they go out today starting anew. Wishing my beautiful children and all the other children starting school today all the best.

Peace comes from within; not without

So many thoughts rushing through me today. So many feelings of guilt duelling with surrender. So many questions about how I could be led down the dark path when all I want in my heart is light.
How is it that I keep crossing paths with those who take absolute joy in taking the pleasure out of those who they see with light in their hearts because they can't find their own light? How is it that I weaken and allow them to sliver into that space that is so small that no one else could see or sense but them. And then once the seduction is over, I regret ever giving them the pleasure of bringing me down.
I always know when they come into my space. These bringers of the darkness. I can feel their tentacles snaking out to me even before they speak. But yet I allow them in in my moments of weakness. In my moments of vulnerability. I feel them swarming around me. But still I let them in.
These people who come in the guise of friends, truthseekers, like they are looking out for me when I know deep down inside from their energy they exude that they are not good. I am aware from a deeper level that they themselves are weak. I understand from my soul center that because they are weak they can smell the weakness of others and prey on that weakness because they thrive on bringing others down to their level because it makes them feel good. Gives them pleasure to know they are not alone. Gives them validation for the dark place they lurk in.The place they cannot get out of because they can't see the light is there for them as well.
So how is it that those of us who seek peace, those of us who try to see the good in every situation, the good in every person, can so easily be pulled into the valley of darkness when all we want is to seek the light. To be in the light. To be the light.
How do we overcome those who constantly come to us trying to find their way in. Trying to bring us down because really they fear our light. They fear our goodness. They fear our compassion and desire to truly be the light bringers into this world. Is it because we become too holy? Become too high and mighty in our own thoughts that we become just as bad as they are but from a different vantage point?
Does the sliver of the dark side creep in when we look down on others and think our path is more righteous then theirs and as result we are pulled down by them to let us see we are no better than them. That we are all struggling in our own way to seek out the light. Is it because we all carry goodness and light, darkness and evil within us at all times. And it only takes one things to tip us into the dark. Or into the light?
Is it because we are becoming such a nation that we can not and do not want to see anyone getting ahead because if they get ahead that means we are being left behind? Have we become that shallow in our way of living that it only takes a shallow act to bring us down. Rather than seeing that when one advances, it makes room for another to rise up.
We all have the ability to see and feel energies. For some it may be easier than it is for others but always what we must do is trust that first feeling we get when we are in the presence of others - even those who pretend to be on our sides because what we learn eventually is when someone tells us he is on our side, there is something gravely wrong. Because in reality there are no sides to be taken. Each one of us has a unique way  of dealing with life and each one of us looks at life from a different perspective. From where we are in our growth. So, in reality, there are no sides. Just different perspectives. And what we also learn eventually is that life is about the energies that come into our space and our ability to read them. Giving us the ability to know every energy that comes into our space is to help us to learn more about who we are and who we are not.
Even when we are drawn into the dark, that dark is teaching us that we must let go of those dark thoughts, let go of the lure and seduction of proving we are right over the person who has wronged us. Instead we must look at the person who has wronged us and thank them for showing us how not to treat another rather than hate them or seek revenge. Because if we pursue them, we become just like them. Lurking in the darkness trying to pretend we are the light.
There is no need to prove our side and more importantly there is no need to prove they are wrong, eventually life has a way of smoothing everything out. Of bringing the darkness into the light without us having to prove anything or to do anything when are coming from a place of light. From a place of love and compassion.
When we are truly light seekers and peace bringers, even when we are lured down the path of darkness, eventually we will find our way back to the light but never by trying to prove we are right. Never by trying to exact revenge on another. No the battle of life does not mean we are fighting with anyone else. That's not the message at all because the only battle we are ever fighting is the battle of self. Of being true to who we are regardless of what others may say or do.
Of living in the light that knows peace comes from within; not without. Peace comes from within. Never without.