A lesson in gratitude from two unexpected people yesterday

Yesterday I flew home and what a beautiful day to arrive into Bermuda. I could not have asked for a better day. Seated next to me was a businessman who sits on several Boards and travels around the world doing so. Seated next to him was a travel agent on a fact finding mission with a group of other travel agents to see what Bermuda was all about. She was from Minneapolis. He from Virginia.

They were discussing Bermuda. It was her first time coming to Bermuda. He comes often for his board meetings. She was enthralled by the colour of the ocean and was thrilled to see the sun. She had not seen the sun for a week because it had been so cold in Minneapolis and dark.

He started telling her things about Bermuda from his perspective – the long lines at Customs for arriving passengers, the high costs of restaurants, and all sorts of things that were interesting to hear. I could not resist so I butted into their conversation just to set the record straight about Bermuda. She was of the opinion that there was nothing to do in Bermuda in the winter. She thought it was far too cold in the winter to come to Bermuda.

I told her about the spas and golf and other escape activities visitors could take advantage of in the winter because we maintain an average temperature of 68 degrees. She was stunned. I was in the right place at the right time to help sell our Island to the travel agent. Telling her places she should try to see so she can go back and tell her customers. I advised her to try to get out from just having a tour of the hotels to try to explore some of the beautiful spots we have to offer.

And as I was talking to the woman and the man about my Island home, I realized just how much I take for granted this beautiful place I call home. I forget sometimes about the paradise I live in. The turquoise seas like no other place in the world. The pink sand at Warwick Long Bay that I have not been to see for quite some time. The pastel colours of our homes accented by the colours of the hibiscus flowers and others dotting along the roadways.

I forget sometimes how privileged I am to have sun more days than not. Considering there are people who live under conditions where they don’t see the sun for long periods of time where they are so cold they don’t come outside. Instead they spend their winters either underground getting from building to building or they are in enclosed walkways so they don’t inhale the fresh air or feel it on their faces.

I thought about how we, in Bermuda, don’t realize just how fortunate we are to live in such a beautiful place. To be exposed to so many different cultures of people coming and going on our Island because we get bogged down so much by what’s wrong with our home instead of stepping back and appreciating what we have. Because what I realized more than anything yesterday is that I have so much to be grateful for simply by being blessed to call Bermuda my home.

And when we step away from all the negatives and embrace the positives with gratitude and grace, the veils of the darkness begin to fall away to reveal the light and possibility that always exists on the opposite side of all that is wrong. Opening me up to the creative and opportunistic  side of my brain allowing me to see the possibility in everything and everyone. Paving the way for me to find solutions rather than obstacles.

Sometimes we spend so much time looking for the problems and attaching ourselves to people who affirm our pestilence that we lose out on the gifts and treasures waiting for us every single day. I was so grateful to have been sat next to the man from Virginia and the woman from Minneapolis because they reminded me that I have so much to be grateful for and a whole lot to smile about.

Angels come in many different shapes and forms and in the least expected ways and times as did my angels yesterday – the lady from Minneapolis and the man from Virginia . They, without even knowing it, reminded me to be grateful and open to possibility rather than wallowing in the dark looking for all the closed doors rather than the ones that are open waiting for me to enter. Namaste

When we are vulnerable

When we are vulnerable, we are at most risk for allowing people into our lives that seek to take advantage of our vulnerability. Seek to influence us to carry out their agenda rather than helping us to move forward with our lives.

When we are vulnerable, we project an energy that lets those who seeks power to come into our lives and direct us with their thoughts, their ideas, their ideals. They smell our vulnerability and use it as a means to empower themselves while disempowering us. They falsely make us believe we need them to survive.  Make us think they are there to help us when in fact they want to hinder us. Keep us in a perpetual state of vulnerability so they can control our thoughts, actions and choices.

They know that when we are vulnerable we are easily led particularly when we feel the world is against us and we believe we keep getting pushed back rather than forward. They listen to our problems, concerns and fears and then lure us into their worlds by making us believe they understand us and want to help us when in fact all they want is to keep us in our place of vulnerability. They want us to remain in our place of darkness because then we will believe we are victims. And when we believe we are victims, we look for others to blame for the situations we find ourselves in. 

There are many false prophets arising because we have created them, allowed them to rise. Allowed them to become powerful because we have become so focussed on finding the magic pill. The instant fix that will change our circumstances. Because we have been hoodwinked into believing the promised land is outside of ourselves.

We have become transfixed with the need for someone to lead us out of the darkness rather than looking at ourselves and redefining who we are. Rather than accepting we have the ability to bring forth change ourselves. We don’t need someone to make us feel worse than we already do or continue to feed us with the darkness we are so filled with. But we get sucked up by the rhetoric because we don’t want to believe we are contributing to the darkness. We don’t want to believe we are responsible for where we are so we easily get caught up in seeking blame rather than resolution.

What we need more than anything right now is to stop looking outside of ourselves and instead focus on fixing the darkness brewing inside us. Focus on preparing ourselves for the new world we are moving into and equip ourselves to live in it; not destroy it because we are angry and feeling like victims. We are in very delicate times where depending on the actions we take, the choices we make, we can completely change the world we live in. And we must think long and hard about the world we want to create rather than the world we want to destroy.

In times like these we have to be very careful with who we listen to. Be mindful of how their words make us feel from a deeper place. Be willing to accept that because of choices we made, we find ourselves in the position we are in. And if we want change we must change our energy so we can start attracting what we want rather than what we don’t want. We are entering a time of mindfulness. A time of change. A time of reflection and introspection. And as such, we have to be careful that we don’t wander too far into the darkness so much so that we can no longer feel or find the light. Remembering always we are what we believe.

We become what we think about the most. We are products of our imaginations more so than we are of our environments. So who do we want to be must be our mantra. Not who we do not. What sort of world do we want to live in must be our vision. Not  what we do not want.

Remembering always, we are responsible for our thoughts and our lives. No one else but us. So when we are vulnerable as we are now, we must be very careful about who we listen to and who we attract into our lives. Careful about the energy we project and the power we give away. 

Is there such a thing as a circumstance without choice?

Yesterday my sister posted on my Facebook page a comment that stayed with me because it did not sit well with them. In response to my blog about the choices we make, she wrote, "sometimes it’s not about choices; it’s the circumstance that change our lives". And while I knew what she was trying to say, the more I thought about it, the more I realised I could not agree with her expression. Because I believe more than anything, we create our circumstances by the choices we make.

From the day we decided to come to this earth, we chose to come here. Some believe, including I, that we choose when to come here, who will parent us and what our lives will be. And sometimes along the way, we may alter our path by the choices we make but the ultimate destination never changes.

So every day when we get up in the morning, we are making choices which dictate the circumstances we find ourselves in. Looking at the street people in Denver, though I cannot fathom what could make someone choose to be homeless over having a home, I know in my heart of hearts it is because of the choices they made to become homeless. I discovered yesterday that there is a huge meth problem in Denver and that’s why there are so many young people on the streets. Many of them are there because they chose to experiment with drugs and have not yet made the choice to change their circumstances.

And when I think about the horrendous flight I took to get to Denver, had I chosen another day or time to get here, I would not have experienced that flight. But I chose to come here at that time so I put myself in the situation where I had to fly through terrible storms. And as horrible as the weather has been throughout the South, Central and Midwest US, the people experiencing that weather chose to live where they do.

Every word we speak, every action we take, every step we take, decision we make are direct results of the choices we make ultimately creating our circumstances every single day. We may bemoan our circumstances and think we are victims of them. But in fact we are not, we are the creators and hence the perpetrators of our circumstances.  We always have the power to change our circumstances by making different choices.

And sometimes it is hard to make the choice to change our circumstances because we fear what will become of us and those we want near. But what we fail to realise is when we don’t change our circumstances, we are still making a choice. The choice to remain.

Therefore in my mind, there can be no circumstance without choice because our circumstances are direct results of the choices we make or don’t make – either way they are choices creating our circumstances.

And once I got that lesson, I felt better about her statement and I knew she was my angel for the day because she reminded me that we are not victims of our circumstances, we are in fact the creators and perpetuators of our circumstances by the choices we make every single day. And in that way, we have the power to change our circumstances, accept our circumstances by the choices we make every single day. 

It is not circumstance that dictates our lives. It is choice. Always choice.Namaste

Sometimes we are taken out of our environments

Sometimes we are taken to places, far from where we belong, so we can appreciate where we do belong. So we can understand the abundance that is present in our lives every single day but don’t realise because we take our lives for granted.

Sometimes we are placed in circumstances where we see lost hope and despair in the faces of others so we can know for the first time the hope and possibility we carry in our hearts but dismiss or suppress because we forget it exists.

Sometimes we are shown the lives of others so we can appreciate the lives we lead because we are too blind to see how wonderful our lives really are. How blessed we truly are. To allow us to let go of the feelings of not having enough. To see we get too caught up in what we don’t have instead of appreciating what we do have.

And that’s why sometimes we are taken out of our abundant world and taken to a place where there is scarcity everywhere we turn so we can appreciate the abundance in our lives every single day.

Yesterday I walked through the streets of downtown Denver enroute to meetings and was overwhelmed by the number of people, young people, begging on the streets. Some with signs. Others with that look of lost faith in their hollow eyes. And I felt such a deep sense of sadness about the lives they are living. Several of them looking young enough to start anew but seemingly lacking the courage or the will to do so. Making me curious about their stories.  About how they ended up on the side of the street begging for money.

I thought about when these street people came into the world and how their parents probably had such hope for them. Dreams for them and I wondered how those dreams got dashed. How these able bodies people of all colours and ages managed to find themselves homeless and without any prospects for the future. I thought about the hard paths these people have chosen to take and wondered what made me so much more privileged than they are. What choices had put them on the street.

All these thoughts crossing my mind as I looked at the people on the streets against the backdrop of majestic mountains, free shuttles and lots of stores and tourists.  How there are many different facets of life based on the choices we make. And as I was walking what I realised most of all is that I have so much to be grateful for. So much to be proud of. So much more than I give myself credit for. And it is for these reasons that I chose to write about the people on the streets because they helped me to see that sometimes we are taken out of our environments to allow us to see our environments. To appreciate all the abundance we truly have.

To look into the hollow eyes of those who were born in the same way as I was and to see how our paths, though starting the same, have ended up completely different is mind boggling. All because of choices made.

And then my thoughts shifted to wondering if these people had it right while I had it wrong. How though they were poor, they were outside in the fresh air for most of the day looking at mountains while I toil away in an office – often not knowing what the weather is like outside. Questioning who has the real solution to life – me or them?

Sure I wish sometimes I had more, did more, weighed less, and ate less but it is the reality that I have the ability to make choices that grounds me to the fact that gratitude is what makes us more appreciative of who we are. Gratitude allow us to appreciate there is always someone better and worse than us. And we need not worry about what others may have. All we need to do is to be grateful for what we have. And when we do, we see the world and ourselves from a completely different perspective.

Sometimes we are shown the lives of others so we can appreciate the lives we lead because we are too blind to see. Too caught up in what we don’t have to appreciate what we do until we are placed in a situation or place where there is so much scarcity that we readily appreciate the abundance freely available in our lives. So we can understand we really have nothing to complain about - all we need do is live with gratitude and grace.

With gratitude for the life I lead. For the choices I have made, make and will continue to make. For seeing scarcity to appreciate abundance. Namaste

Lessons from severe thunderstorms

This weekend definitely turned into a weekend of having to face my fears and move beyond them. To accept that life goes on and I must go on with it even when I am tested to the point of feeling overwhelmed and afraid.

It started on Saturday night after my family and I enjoyed a wonderful belated birthday dinner for me at the Dining Room at The Lighthouse in Bermuda. It was one of those picture perfect evening when the sky was clear, the setting sun perfect and we were able to see the splendour and beauty of the place we call home by looking down on it from the picturesque setting of the Lighthouse. The Sound looking as enchanting as ever. The South shore calm but with the tell-tale sign that the weather was going to change because of the haze that hung on the horizon. The evening just perfect. My husband, son, daughter and I standing outside taking in the beauty of our island home before going inside to a wonderful dinner full of lively conversations and love.

Then we went to bed that night full of love and possibility only to be woken by lights flashing rapidly and repeatedly through our windows almost like someone was playing with the lights of the world. Flickering. Dancing. Constant – almost too constant for lightning. Then the boom of thunder would come but not in harmony with the lightning almost as if it was taking a back seat to the lightning. Because the lightning was so rapid my husband got up to see if it was the meteoric showers that had been promised days before. Only to come back to report that it was just the lighting – a strange show of it lighting up the sky in quick succession making it seem as if there was something alien about it.

He came back to bed wanting to open the blinds so he could see the show from bed much to my chagrin. I was trying my best to be brave. Trying my best to appreciate all things in nature including this spectacular yet frightening thunderstorm that was happening. Trying to ration how a picture perfect evening could turn into such a violent storm.

There was no way I wanted to really see the storm so I asked my husband to please keep the blinds shut as I talked myself into falling back asleep. Telling myself it is what it is and there is nothing I can do about what is unfolding because it is what is meant to happen. Snuggling my head into my daughter’s as she had come into the bed when my husband had gotten up. Trying my hardest to block out the sound of the storm and the pounding rain.

And then it was the next morning, relieved to realise the light streaming through my window was the sunlight. The storm well gone. The day bright, crisp and cool. Everything looking relieved after the passage of the storm. Me grateful for making it through that storm. And seeing how quickly life, circumstances can change from calm to storm and back again.

And then I left Bermuda to fly to Denver. Only to once again run into severe storms last night as we were in the air from Atlanta en route to Denver when our airplane ran into the severe thunderstorms that were affecting the southern and mid-west regions of the United States. Sending us rolling and rocking as the pilots tried to get around the thunderstorms. A man sitting next to the window snapping pictures of the lightning that was flashing all around us. His fascination was in direct contrast to my utter terror. My teeth gritted together. My palms sweaty. My whole being shaking from the storms going on all around us.  Fork lighting lighting up the black clouds. Cumulus, a word I truly understood as I looked at the angry clouds.

This time I truly had to surrender to what was happening around me. Let go I told myself because there was definitely nothing I could do to control the situation that was happening. I was in an airplane several thousand feet in the air in the midst of severe thunderstorms I told myself so the only thing to do was to accept where I was and to accept what was meant to be would be.

Miraculously I was able to let go of the fear that had been gripping me. Closing my eyes and saying a prayer to the Universe as my body relaxed. A total sense of calm came over me once I decided I had to just surrender to all that was happening. Leaving me at peace. So much so that when the plane dipped and dropped and rattled and shook I accepted it for what it was.  Then like magic we were through the storm, the plane ride became so smooth that at first it felt like we were not moving but we were. And the smoothness of the plane ride matched the calmness I felt inside.

Teaching me that life sometimes may be rocky and frightening taking us down paths that bring us face to face with our fear but as long as we believe, have faith and trust in the Universe, we can accept that we are always where we are meant to be. And when we surrender to that fact, we will eventually find the calm after the storm and we will feel at peace with the journey we call life.

So grateful to have made it through two nights where I had to face my fear of lightning and thunder by trusting I am always where I am meant to be and having faith that whatever is meant to unfold will. And to enjoy every single minute of life because it changes in an instant – every instant.

Following the joys of the sun

Wow, so unexpected this morning was the light streaming through my blinds when I opened my eyes. I went to bed thinking I would wake up this morning to rain, clouds and more grey. Instead I woke up to light, scattered clouds and beautiful blue skies. Light streaming in from everywhere. What an unexpected and pleasurable gift from the Universe. I could almost hear the voice of angels because I was in such harmony with the Universal vibration. Such a feeling of peace flooding through me.

I love when I receive gifts physically as well as spiritually that are unexpected because when I do I feel my heart, body, mind and soul opening,  opening and expanding to the wonders of the Universe. I feel a joy that cannot be described spreading through my body. I feel the possibility that is always there but becomes more pronounced when I am open.

I got out of bed with a smile on my face. Thrusting open the windows and looking out at nature. At its splendor and abundance. Its array of colours. Its variations complementing each other. Nothing trying to crowd out the other. Each existing in harmony with the other. Inhaling deeply as I felt like I am at one with everything and everyone. Feeling like I could do anything, be anything, be myself fully and totally.

This morning is one of those treasured mornings when I feel at one with it all. When my soul connects to the Universal soul with total surrender and I feel beautiful through and through. Not just in a physical way but in a way that fills me up and spreads out to those who come into my presence. A beauty that transcends the eye because it comes from the inner spirit and radiates from places we can not touch but know.

I am grateful for moments like these because they allow me to totally trust in the Universe, in myself, in life. To glory in my presence here because I can feel the gifts and treasure of the Universe and know that when I open and become receptive, they readily flow to me as I readily flow back to them. Flowing with the circle of life. What a beautiful feeling this morning. Enjoying every single second of it as I follow the joys of the sun….Have a beautiful day everyone. Life truly is beautiful.  

Life truly is about the choices we make

Last night I had the privilege of attending the Caron Bermuda dinner honouring Brian and Nancy Duperreault and left feeling very full. Full of hope, inspiration and love. There were so many things said and done last night that confirmed for me life really is about the choices we make, the people we surround ourselves with and owning who we are in order to be who we are meant to be.

People gathered to honor Brian and Nancy, as did, I but ended up embarking on a journey of change and choices I had not anticipated but thoroughly enjoyed. Starting with the story told by a recovering addict who spoke with raw honesty and courage. Who bared her soul to us by telling us about the struggle she endured to get herself off drugs and the struggle she continues to go through every single day to not use drugs again. She stood on stage in her beautiful red dress and told us about the power she thought drugs had over her until she realized nothing had the power over her unless she allowed it to. Because what she realized after many years of being addicted to drugs was that she had to own the fact that she was a drug addict. She had to own the fact that she was heavily addicted and once she did, she was able to find her way out of the drugged, drunken and dark world she had lived in for many years of her life.

Once she owned who she was, she saw for the first time the harm she was doing to herself and the pain she was causing her family. She saw for the first time that she was where she was because of choices she had made and the people she had surrounded herself with. She realized in order to get better she had to make different choices and had to own the fact that she was an addict so she could get the help she needed.  And once she did, her world slowly became light again. 

Every day her world became brighter and brighter until she realized the light was always there for her but she just could not see it. And last night she was able to stand on stage seven years clean and brave enough to own her story and tell us with pride about the journey she had taken from the pits of hell to the point of glory she now stands in. Sending tingles down my spine.

Shortly after her, the guest speaker told us his story. The story of how he was not addicted to drugs but grew up in a household where his mother was addicted to drugs.  How he and his siblings managed to hide the fact that their mother was on drugs for many years. He told us how he could have been a drug addict just like his mother because there was no one that knew what he was really going through because he didn't want anyone to know that his mother, the woman who was supposed to love and care for him, could only love and care for drugs over everyone and everything else. There was nothing more important to her than the next high.

Eventually he became a drug dealer thinking if he supplied his mother, he would know where she was and what she was doing because he was trying to protect her from selling herself to get drugs. Or worse from being killed. Or overdosing on bad drugs. He thought by supplying her, he was protecting himself from the spoils of the world by protecting her until he realized he was not protecting her. Instead he was helping her to stay addicted to drugs by selling her drugs. So he stopped because he no longer wanted to aid her with her problem.  He told us how he had to distance himself from her in order for her to realize the life she was living.

He painted a picture of the surroundings he grew up in, the choices people around him made that landed them in prison or dead. How he decided he would use their mistakes as lessons of what not to do so he could avoid going down the same path as they did. 

In order to do so, his mantra became, “be where you are supposed to be” not where you think you ought to be. He realized from their bad choices that when you are where you are supposed to be, trouble tends not to follow you but when you stray off that path, you end up having to take the hard road, the road of hard knocks.

He turned his life around by choosing not to be the person that his mother was. By choosing not to make the bad choices his friends had made. By choosing instead to set goals for himself then put himself in the position where those goals could come to fruition. He ended by saying there is no way that he could have become the successful NFL player he had been without the hardships he had experienced as a child, without the mother who was addicted to drugs, without the darkness he had gone through before he saw the light and believed the light was there for him too.

Like the recovering addict woman that spoke before him, he had to make a choice about what sort of life he wanted to lead. And once he did, he had to own who he was, as did she, in order to be who they are today. Both stories though very different were alike in that they both had to make choices about what they wanted for themselves and feel worthy of receiving the gifts and treasures of the Universe so they could turn their lives around. So they could be the light at the end of the tunnel. And own it.

The evening ended with a movie about Brian and Nancy spoken through the words of those who have been in their lives. The choice they made some 45 years ago today to be together and stick together. The choice they made to share some of what they gained to help others. To not hoard for themselves but to share. And one of the tributes that stood in my mind was one that quoted by a friend about them from Winston Churchill, “we make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.”  

Three stories united last night by the choices they made culminating in them sharing the stage last night without ever having met before physically. But paths that had been destined to cross once they understood the power of choice. Showing life truly is about the choices we make, the people we surround ourselves with and owning who we are in order to be who we are meant to be with gratitude, reverence and grace. What a night. So grateful to have been in  the company of such awe inspiring people.