Do you believe in magic? Miracles?

Sometimes we look in the least likely places

At the least likely people

For magic

For miracles

We think magic is something that is make believe

That it does not exist

We think magic equates to black magic

Hocus Pocus

Fairtytales

We believe miracles are reserved for the great master

Never for us

Yet if we really stop and think about us

About everything around us

About our very existence

About the very existence of everything

About the world we live in

What we are and where we could we have come from

Not just from our mother’s bellies

But where were we before our mothers

And where do we go at the end of our physical existence

Doesn’t that make you believe in the miracle of us

The wonder of us

The magic of us

Isn’t our very existence by nature

A miracle

Magic in itself

Does anyone have an explanation about which came first

The chicken or the egg

Or the egg or the chicken

Because one could not exist without the other

We are magical miraculous beings

That come and go in this plane

Morphing from one thing to the next

Have you ever been injured such that you could not use an arm or a leg

And then were forced to think about how we use our limbs every day anyway

Is there a giant computer sitting out there somewhere that is controlling us all

Could we all be subject to cyber threat, hackers and those who want to run the world

Is it possible that with a push of a button

We will be shut down one day

We are such amazing living, breathing, creatures

Born from the mingling of an egg and sperm

Grown inside a protective womb of our mother’s bodies

Birthed from either a canal or brought out by knife

Creating our physical existence for a predetermined amount of time

But where do our souls come from

And for that matter what are our souls

Do they die or do they remain

Do our souls continue even when our physical bodies wither and die away

Do our essence selves remain but without the memory of what we were before

Magic is what we are

Miracles are what we are

So how can we ever dismiss magic

Believing it belongs solely to the dark side

When in fact we are magical beings

We embody the concept of magic

So how can we dismiss miracles

And believe only a select few are bestowed miracles

When we go to bed every night and drift off into another land

Then take a waking breath to wake us up in the morning

Pulling us out of bed

Ready to start anew

If ever we did not believe in magic or miracles

All we have to do is look at ourselves in the mirror

Marvelling at the image that is us

Listen to our minds

Watch what we can do and say in a day

If we are looking for a miracle

All we need do is look at a rose blooming

Smell its intoxicating scent

Watch it blow in the wind and yet remain unaffected by it

Watch a bluebird, a red bird, any birds flying before our eyes

Catch a glimpse of a rainbow and if we are lucky a double rainbow in the sky

And know for the first time that there is no need to doubt magic

No need to dismiss miracles

Because we are living and breathing magical miracles every single day of our lives

Witnessing every day miracles in the magic of a new day

So now do you believe in magic and miracles

 I do because I am magic and I am a miracle

And so are you

So are we all

Have a magical miraculous day

Accepting we are magical miraculous creatures

Living in a magical miraculous world

Surrounded by magical miracles

Every single second

Of every single day

 Namaste.

April 1 April Fool's Day challenging me

April 1. April Fool’s Day. Another month breezing in. This year seems to be flying by to me. It seems every day is trying to tell me to just live my life, stretch my wings, embrace every moment that I am in, live my life as fully as I can. Without regret, apology or expectation. Just spread my wings and fly. Just typing those words fills me with anticipation and life. With joy and abandon and a smile that emanates from that place inside of me that is untouched by external forces. That place that is my compass, my inner voice, me. And that smile is spreading throughout me, warming me, encouraging me, coaxing me to not worry about what anyone else thinks or says about me. My worth is not measured by their judgement. No it is measured by what I believe and think of me.

That place untouched by external forces inside of me is burning, itching, telling me to be all that I want to be. Take chances, fall down then get back up again. Forget about the naysayers. They only say nay because they don’t have the nerve to take chances, fall down then get back up again. Anybody with gumption would be applauding those who take chances because they recognize that it is only with taking chances, falling down and getting back up again that we step out of the path of mediocrity into a life worth living. Into a life of our creation.

April 1 – the month of April, my birth month, the month I graced this Earth some 50 plus years ago and I feel a tingling inside. Something I can’t put my finger on. Something that is happening, opening, expanding. Something that is moving me to be who I came here to be. Recognizing that time is running out for me. My days ahead are most likely going to be less than the days I had behind me.

Something is willing me to stand in my own light. To accept I am the light. To accept I am worthy of success. To accept that life only gives me what I put out there. Deem myself to be worthy of.

April 1- April Fool’s Day yet one year ago today my husband and I stood before our children in Kauai and renewed our love for each other as a couple, as a family.  Celebrating our 21 years together. Honouring our ups and downs as a couple. Telling our story to each other so our children could hear it first hand.  To see that though our lives may not be perfect all the time, it is the imperfections that grow us, challenge us, make us.

April the fourth month of the year already. Where is the time going? What am I doing with my time? Am I honouring each second , each minute, each hour of every single day that I am given to breathe, to be , to do with reverence and gratitude, with love and light, respect and faith. Or am I doing what everyone else expects me to be rather than who I came here to be?

I don’t know the answers to all my questions today but I do know there is something inside me that is awakening. Something inside that is ready to emerge and I am willing, ready and able to bring her forth because I feel she has been, I have been, a long time in coming. Here’s to the beginning of my birth month that is asking me to be reborn again. Watch out world because here we come….here I come. 

April 1 April Fool's Day challenging me to not be the fool who stands and watches life pass me by but to live it as fully as I can. Letting go and spreading my wings allowing myself to fly without worry or fear. So here I go. Here I begin. Opening to the awakening that is happening from within.  Namaste.

March - Roaring in like the lion and exiting as the lion

March is certainly going against the grain this year. Coming in like a lion and going out like a lion. But that’s not the way it's supposed to be according to folklore we protest. It is either meant to come in like a lion then go out like a lamb. Or come in like a lamb then go out like a lion. It is not meant to come in the same way it goes out. 

Yet this year it has decided to roar on its way in and roar on its way out. Upsetting us. Making us wonder what is going on. Making us wonder what Mother Nature is trying to tell us. What the Universe is trying to show us.

Is it trying to let us know that there are no real expectations? No real predetermined way of being unless we impose it upon ourselves. Unless we allow ourselves to be what others expect us to be rather than being who we are. That folklore is folklore based on tales of the past and hence is static whereas life is meant to be dynamic – no patterns, no expectations,  just as it is meant to be. Changing, adapting with the times.

That sometimes what we expect to happen won’t and was never meant to be. That what is happening right here, right now in this moment is what is meant to happen regardless of what was predicted or what we believed was meant to happen.

The day started out so beautifully yesterday. Perfect almost but as it progressed, I could feel the tension in the air. Like the calm was dueling with the storm. Like the air pressure could not figure out what it was meant to do. A heaviness gradually replaced the lightness of the air. I could taste the change coming and see it as well as the cloudless bright day gave way to a muggy cloudy late afternoon /evening.

By the time nightfall came, the winds had picked up considerably. And I initially thought but it can’t be because March had come in like a lion so it can’t possibly go out like a lion. But it did, is and is showing me that sometimes we are meant to be turned upside down, inside out to see that life can change in an instant. That we can change in an instant. That we have to be adaptable. Grateful for every change that comes our way. Every upset that comes our way because we are being moved to where we are meant to be. Ushered into ourselves and the more we resist, the more lost we become. The more we accept what is, the easier our path becomes.

We are being asked to accept the challenge of the unknown. Treasure the shift in the atmosphere. Because folklore is based on the past, meant to guide us but not to determine us. And so I look upon this odd set of weather patterns that are happening everywhere as an omen to be free to be who I am meant to be. To go with the flow. To remember what has happened in the past but not let it dictate what is coming for me. To not get bogged down by folklore. To be who I am meant to be. To be what feels comfortable for me. Regardless of what is projected for me. To reject what does not feel right and embrace what does.

Thank you March for blowing in with force. Roaring like the lion you are. For waking me up to accept that life will sometimes surprise us in the best of ways by the way you are taking us out of your month with your last roar and mighty blow. Roaring in like the lion and exiting like the lion because you can and did. Bellowing to us to go with the flow as you blow out all preconceived notions of what was to make way for what is. Namaste. 

Sometimes when I see a woman, a pregnant woman

Sometimes when I see a woman

A pregnant woman

Belly full of life

I am transported back to the time

When I was that woman

Pregnant woman

Belly full of life

I think of how I could not wait

To meet my children

The lives my husband and I were creating

The personalities we had selected

To come

To teach us

And us them

About life

About love

About forgiveness

About letting go

When the time is right

Sometimes when I see a woman

A pregnant woman

Belly full of life

I think about how quickly time goes by

Not when we are in the moment

The twilight moment

Of being new parents

To the now

When my children are growing up

One a teenager

And the other a tween

I think about how it is important

To cherish each moment

Each moment of our children’s live

And our lives

Because time marches on

Constantly 

Steadily

It waits for no one

Apologises to no one

Does not repeat for anyone

So it is important

That we give of each other

To ourselves

To our children

To the lives we want to lead

Sometimes when I see a woman

A pregnant woman

Belly full of life

I think of how I thought I was the only one

Who had become a mom

Who was trying to forge her way

Through understanding how to mother

How to be mothered

How to be a mother

Without suffocating myself

Or my children

About how to let them be

While at the same time

Being there for them

How to let them develop

Into their own people

Without putting too much of myself on them

How to let them fight their own battles

Without intervening

Even though sometimes

It is tempting to take over

But then I see another woman

A pregnant woman

Belly full of life

And I know she too

Will experience what I have experienced

She too will know love

Unlike any other love she has ever experienced

Because bearing children

Is the closet we come

To being a creator of life

And it is awesome

Awe inspiring

And frightening at the same time

Until we remember

We chose our children

And they us

To learn lessons

To teach lessons

To learn responsibility

To be responsible

So now when I see

A woman

A pregnant woman

Belly full of life

I rejoice in the sisterhood

That is us

Because it is beautiful experience

A growing up experience

If we want to mother our children

To go into the world

As givers rather than takers

To understand bearing children 

Is a delicate balancing act

Yin and Yang

A dance of give and take

A privilege bestowed upon us

To continue the circle of life

So when I see a woman

A pregnant woman

Belly full of life

I smile

I feel full inside

To know I chose the best role

I have ever been given

To be a mother

To mother

And to be mothered

And to love

In a way I never knew possible

As I watch my two

Becoming adults

Growing

Testing

Stretching

A warmness fills my belly

The belly that carried them

Belly full of life

Belly full of love

Belly full of hope

Belly full of faith

Belly full of Love and light

Until they were ready to emerge

Allowing me to see

Who I am really

Through their antics

Through their actions

Through their eyes

Motherhood

Love

Life

Everything
Belly full of life
What an honour

Namaste

There is a lot of negativity swirling around right now

There is a lot of negativity swirling around now. Dark yet subtle energy that is so persuasive that it is almost intoxicating because it comes in the guise of supporting us. Enticing us to its side because it makes us believe it is there to help us feel better about ourselves by engaging in negative chatter and destroying others. It snakes its way into our space when it sees and feels the slightest crack of vulnerability. Taking that as its invitation to find its way into our hearts. Encouraging us to fill ourselves with what we believe to be its acceptance. Allowing ourselves to become ensnared in its comforting embrace. Tempting us to spread its darkness, its tendrils into the hearts of others.

Pulling us down into its darkest depths. Shrouding us from seeing the light. From accepting we are the light. Blocking us from feeling the light in our souls because we begin to believe there are more negative people and events in this world than there are positive. Because we can't see that negativity only begates negativity - and if we are negative that's all we will attract. We falsely believe that being positive is a constant state and when we can’t hold on to it, we become frustrated. And take the path of least resistance - believing the only path is darkness.

In doing so, we go outside of ourselves for answers. Going where those dark tendrils want to lead us - seeking the praise of others, seeking to please others, seeking to be found.  Because that’s what darkness does. What negativity does. Alluring at first until all we can see is the dark. All we can feel is negativity. And then we can’t breathe. Can’t see. Can’t find our way out of the darkness because we feel so weighted down by the guilt, fear and the insecurity that come with hanging out in the dark. As they are the constant companions of darkness.

And the more we try to find our way out, the more negativity we attract until we realize the only way out is to accept we  have to be able to praise ourselves first, please ourselves first and to accept we are never lost. We are always found because we always know where we are even though we pretend that we don’t.

It is so much easier it seems to be negative because then people run to our sides. They whisper with us about the injustices of the world. They spit angry thoughts out so that we can join them. But what we don’t realize is when we are intent on keeping others down, the only people we truly keep down are ourselves.

And the only way we can find our way out of the darkness is to accept being in the light is a journey, a process not a destination. That the light is with us all the time but we have to be willing to step into it. To be it even when we are tempted by the dark side. Even when we fall to the dark side. Vulnerability comes to help us to be the light we are meant to be by exposing our flaws so we can grow not hide behind them by pulling everyone else down to the depths of darkness.

Accepting our vulnerabilities, our trials allow us to know and accept life can be hard sometimes. Sometimes it will knock us right down but we have to be careful that we do not allow ourselves to believe that life is hard, that the world is dark and against us because when we do, that becomes the world we live in. The world we inhabit. So it is totally us to us to be the light we want in our lives in order to attract more of it into our lives. 

Faith and listening to our hearts

Yesterday I had an interesting conversation about faith and listening to our heart with someone. Explaining to him that our heart is our gut and our gut always knows. I could see the conflicted look on the person’s face. Feel his confusion when I said, it is the heart that is always right not our heads.

I explained how our heads are filled with everyone else’s expectations of us, everyone’s opinions about how the world should be, how we should be;  but our hearts, our guts are truly and honestly us.  It is the feeling in the pit of our stomach that either makes us feel sick or well depending on the circumstances we are presented with. Because our heart  always let us know when we are in a situation that is best for us, when we are with people that are best for us. When it is time to remain and when it is time to go.

He  disagreed with me telling me the head is always more important than the heart and I asked him to think back to the times when his heart told him to do one thing and his head told him to do another. To think about the consequences that ensued when he allowed his head to override his heart, his gut because of outside influences rather than his own inner compass, his own inner guide. I asked him to think about how he feels when he is at his best and where that feeling emanates from. Instantly he understood and knew it was when he followed his heart, his gut. But outside influences had led him to believe his head is more important.

He then challenged me on faith. Telling me that sometimes his heart goes against his faith with the same look of conflict on his face. To which I responded there are different levels of faith and also different meanings of faith depending on where we derive our faith from. Faith based on religion is filled with other people’s definitions of where we need to be and what we need to believe in in life and it may not necessarily agree with surrendering to our hearts. Faith based on religion usually is indoctrination into the belief system of a group of people who originally came together based on a common belief system forming a sect of religion and principles and hence we have Jewish beliefs, Christian beliefs, Catholic beliefs, Muslim beliefs, etc. And usually those people believe their religion is the right way. The only way.

Whereas spiritual based faith is all encompassing – it surrenders to the all that is and is normally in harmony with our hearts, our guts because it judges no one. And does not feel righteous to anyone else accepting that everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. Faith based spiritualism recognizes that each one of us comes here for a reason and each one of us is journeying every single day – changing and growing and cannot be confined to any dogma that does not keep up with the changing times. With the changing us.

Faith based spiritualism allows us to develop as we are meant to by surrendering to our inner compass, our hearts, our guts because that is what connects us to the beginning and end. To the One Source that is us all. Recognizing and accepting there is no separation between us because we are all one thereby allowing us to surrender to our own inner compasses. To listen to our hearts which may be looked upon as our gateway to the All.

I explained that at the end of the day faith is based on a belief system. A belief system that no matter what , we will be pulled through the darkness into the light and for some there is the need for religion to keep them grounded while for others it is spiritualism. And neither is wrong or right for as long as we have faith. As long as we follow our hearts without allowing our heads to take us down a path that our hearts were telling us not to go then we will know faith like we have never known it before. We will know ourselves like we have never known ourselves before. But we must listen to our hearts rather than our heads. Because our heart is our gut, our inner compass and it always knows… always knows.

Outlook is everything in life

Outlook is everything in life. It leaves us feeling joy or sadness. It fills us with possibility or leaves us feeling depleted. Outlook is that which determines whether we are full of hope or weighted down with despair.

Yesterday morning I was woken up at 3am which seems to be the bewitching hour in my home at the moment by my daughter’s talking Furby. As a word of advice, do not buy one of those things for your children because they are slightly demented and come on when least expected. But for some reason I was moved to believe it had woken me up for a reason so I got up to go to the bathroom trying to understand why I had been woken up at that hour.

I don’t like to turn the lights on in the bathroom when I wake up at that time because I like to remain in that special and peaceful place between sleep and awake so I can go back to sleep when I go back to bed. As I walked into the bathroom, I was surprised by the silence outside considering I had gone to bed with the wind rattling again, the rain pounding down and was fully expecting to hear much of the same. Instead I was greeted by the sound of silence and a beautiful and enticing light shining through my blinds. I opened the blinds to see where the light was coming from and was delighted by a sky full of twinkling stars and a crescent moon lying on its back illuminating the sky. Feeling me with such hope. Such delight. Such joy that I began to tingle from head to toe.

As I stood marveling at the sky, I realised I had turned the talking and demented Furby issue into a moment of reverence as I stood at the window absorbing the light of the moon and the stars. Feeling so blessed to have witnessed such a spectacular sky in the early morning hours of the beginning of a new day. Feeling so blessed to have taken the time to observe the awakening of a new day. Grateful for the light in the otherwise dark night.

And then I went back to bed falling into a deep sleep with a smile on my face. A smile filled with the light of the dark morning. Blessed by each star that had shone down on me. By the light of the moon. So grateful for witnessing nature at its very best. Shining bright like diamonds uncut and unchanged by man.

Reminding me that outlook is everything in life. It is what determines whether we will be filled with joy or left empty from sadness. It allows us to look at the Furby situation as a threat or as a gift – an opportunity to see the beautiful sky as I did when I was woken up. It fills us with possibility or leaves us feeling depleted because outlook determines who we are at any given moment.

And because I had that special moment yesterday morning, I took the blustery stormy weather last night and this morning in stride. Seeing just how quickly everything can change but as long as my outlook is good, I can go with the flow. Because outlook is everything in life.  Namaste.