In gratitude to a little blue bird

This morning when I woke to the sound of wind and rain again, I immediately felt a wave of gloominess wash over me. I felt like I had had enough of this windy and rainy weather and it was time for the sun. I needed the sun. I was looking forward to the weather improving,. To there being light in the day.

So instead of getting up, I lay in bed thinking about why this weather will not let up. Why we have been shrouded in clouds of grey for the last few days? I didn't want to move. Didn't want to get up despite being wide awake. My body, limbs, mind and spirit felt weighted down by the heaviness of the weather outside.

And then when my body could not take being horizontal anymore,  I got up and came into the office, opened the blinds so I could see outside. Somehow pull, however limited the light is outside, inside. I sighed a heavy sigh when I saw the trees being pushed around by the wind. The rain drizzling down. The sky grey. Not a hint of blue anywhere. Just greyness and dullness.

I then sat at my new old space again and looked outside once more and this time I saw it there in plain sight. Waiting for me to see - my gift from the Universe. My treasure.  The answer to my questioning - a little blue bird perched on a branch delicately balancing itself as the wind buffeted the branch he was on. Sitting majestically giving me the hint of blue I was looking for. There before my eyes. Not in the way I expected. Not in the sky but in the color of the blue bird.

Chills ran up and down my spine as I felt possibility course through me. I felt at peace with the way the weather is, with the way things are right now because I understood with great certainty we are always answered. We are always given what we ask for. Maybe not in the way we expected. Maybe not in the way we wanted. But we are always given what we need and that little bird with its bright blue feathers was there to remind me that even on my darkest days, even on those days when I am feeling the weight of my trials, I am always given answers, clues, gifts from the Universe. But only when I take the time to stop, to look, to listen and to be grateful for everything and everyone that comes by way because they are all in the Divine Plan and they are necessary for the unfolding of my life.

And for that tiny little blue bird that sat atop that branch until I saw him, felt him, and acknowledged his presence, I am truly and utterly grateful.

And just like that the day does not seem as grey. Nowhere near as gloomy. Nowhere near as dreadful.  I see more light in this day. More possibility awaiting me as I inhaled and exhaled the All with absolute delight to know I have been spoken to and am being spoken to all the time. It’s just up to me to be aware and to be open with gratitude and grace. Namaste.

In gratitude for my husband gifting me a new computer

I am so excited this morning. I have a new computer. My own personal computer again. Thanks to my wonderful husband who gave it to me for Christmas. Partially because he wanted me out of his space and off his computer and partially because he knows how much having personal space is so important particularly for me as a writer.

 I don’t know if any of you noticed that the font on my blog was changing constantly. The rhythm of my writing was slightly different because I was using my husband’s computer as my computer died ages ago.  And for me as a writer, it was frustrating and strangely liberating at the same time to be on my husband’s computer because I had to learn to let go. To accept that sometimes my writing would not look the same nor feel the same but I was writing nonetheless.

 And now I have my own computer again. One that I can personalize just for me so I am consistent when I write. So the rhythm is established and I know from day to day what it will look like with gratitude.

I have to admit I have to get used to this keyboard now. I have to get used to its feel. Its sound. Its response to my fingers. But I can handle it. I can be patient. I know soon this keyboard and I will become one. Anticipate each other’s needs and desires.

I am being a little apprehensive with it because it is so new and it sounds so loud. And because I write early in the morning I try not to make too much noise because I don’t like to wake up my household because I like to write on my own. Without distractions. Without anyone else needing me for anything.

I write when there is silence on most occasions so I can hear the voice of the Divine. So I can become intimate with all that is, was and ever will be. So I can journey to my soul. To the place where there is nothing and there is all. And when I do I can hear the voice loud and clear and even when I don’t, I can feel it through the tapping of my fingers on the keyboard. The rhythm my fingers take on without me even trying.

But this morning I am a little sluggish because my excitement is on having my own computer, sitting back in my own chair, facing my painting by Bear Cloud my husband gave me for my 50^th birthday. Seeing more in there than I had before. Looking out the windows again from my own angle seeing the view from my own perspective rather than my husband’s.

So this morning I am allowing myself to become reacquainted with my own space. The space I had been taking for granted when it was mine before and did not change except when I changed it. But now it feels so new, so strange, so mysterious that I feel possessive and joyful to have it back. To experience my space again for the first time.

Realizing what I am experiencing is a lesson in not taking anything for granted. To learn to appreciate everything and everyone in my life regardless of how long they have been there because when they are gone or taken away, I will miss them and realize just how much they meant to me. And for my own computer back again teaching me about how little things in life can make such a huge difference when we appreciate them and show gratitude, I am truly grateful and excited and possessive all wrapped up in one.

To know there is no such thing as mundane as everything is part of our existence and more importantly a part of our living life to the fullest is such a joy. Such a blessing. Such. Such. Such.  And for my new computer, my own space back again, my own view and my lesson about life, I am truly and utterly grateful. Namaste.

Why I love holidays

I love holidays. Especially those ones when I have nothing to do but be who I am and where I am. No pressure. No routines. No schedules. Nothing to do but be in my pjs all day if I want. Such a luxurious feeling. Like today. I feel so rich today. So enriched I should say. Because I have made no demands on myself except to relax and to just go with the flow. Be in the flow.

It's amazing how free we can feel when we allow ourselves to stop. When we allow ourselves to just be. It is such a liberating feeling. Such a peaceful feeling.

This morning I lay in bed listening to the rain coming down. Listening to the birds chirping. I thought about getting up to write my blog. Thought about people who would be looking for it early and I have to admit I did feel a twinge of guilt . But then I just let go. Let go of the expectation. Let go of the guilt and closed my eyes and snuggled back into my daughter who had come into my bed burying my face in her head of curls and allowed myself to drift back into dreamland. Falling into a deep sleep.

When I woke up I was amazed to see some 3 hours had passed so obviously my body needed the rest. Obviously I needed the rest. And I felt so rested. So peaceful. I lay in bed for a little longer listening to life happening all around me. Thinking about all the things I have to be grateful for. Thinking about the wonderful family day of Christmas I had had the day before.

Thinking about my 84 year old dad looking younger than he has for some time enjoying seeing his family and being with us. Thinking about how quickly life passes us by particularly when we are constantly putting pressure on ourselves to be somewhere and to do something rather than just stopping sometimes. Sleeping sometimes. Resting sometimes.

And that's why I love holidays so much. Particularly holidays when it is raining outside and there is no pressure to be anywhere except where I am. No need to be anything but who I am. When there is no need to get gussied up and I can stay in my pjs if I want all day. And who knows it may be a marathon Scandalous day too. But for now I am just going to go with the flow and see where it takes me. Not resisting. Not expecting. No demands. No routines. No pressure. Just being…

Hopefully you will have one of those days too where you take the time to just be you. Reconnecting with your core self. Letting it rest and be too. Peace and blessings.

Greetings and Blessings 2013

Merry Christmas to my family and friends near, far and wide.
What a wonderful day of celebration, reverence and remembrance. Christmas Day when hearts are filled  as full as they possibly can be. When trials are set aside for this sacred day. When love abounds as much as it can.
I have always loved Christmas even during those years when I got absolutely nothing from anyone and there were many of those years because what I love about Christmas is the feeling of giving in the air. The feeling of oneness and spirit. The feeling of possibility. The magical feeling that dances throughout our land. Weaving the angels and invisible forces together - awakening them so they are shimmering for me to see.
This year for the first time in a long time Christmas is wet and grey in Bermuda. Rain that looks like snow because of how fine and slow it is falling is the view for us on this Christmas morn. The sun is absent. The light is dull but still my heart and soul feel so full, so grateful for the love and joy I feel in my home.
The quietness of the morning. The anticipation as we waited for our children to get up. Watching the clock from 5am. Thinking where are they? And then they come bursting through. Our daughter first. Jumping on the bed between us. Her face pressed against ours. Followed by our son. Hanging in the background.
And then we are all up. The atmosphere electric. Our home now filled with the excitement and laughter of our children for the gifts they received.
A quiet moment when they become immersed in their surprises as my husband and I exchange on Christmas morn gifts - a first since we became parents as we normally wait to the night of Christmas to exchange our gifts to give our children the day. But they are growing up now and the gifts are fewer but well thought out.
Looking around my home and feeling such gratitude for the man I chose to spend my life with, the children we have created together, our home we are creating together, the life we have created, are creating together.
Christmas is always a sentimental time for me because it is a time when life lets me know it is meant to be lived and shared and appreciated. And on this today I have no qualms with letting the light of my love shine. To rejoice in my creation and all that I am creating to help to make my world and this world a better place.
So I am signing out on this Christmas morning with joy  and gratitude in my heart for all that I am, was and ever will be. For being a woman, wife and mother. For the paths I have taken that have led me to where I am today and the paths I am taking and will take.
From our home to yours, may your Christmas Day be blessed in whatever way it needs to be blessed even for those who are suffering and in pain, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Just keep living, loving and showing gratitude for whatever comes your way or is in your way because you are being directed to the place you need to be.
Peace, love and great tidings from our home to yours. Merry Christmas in the name of the Divine.

My #writing mind

Last night I was at a lovely gathering of friends and people brought together by one woman and her husband to celebrate the holiday season when I was asked if I knew what I was going to write for today. To which I responded I have no idea. My ritual in the morning is to meditate first and then let the first sentence that comes to my mind after my meditation take me where I need to go. Without expectation, question or doubt.

I went to bed thinking about my conversation with my friend who has coined me as her morning coffee and woke up with it on my mind as well. I then went into meditation with it and came out with conflicting sentences because I realized that subliminally I always know what I am going to write because life is my muse. Life is my storyline and each person, event and thing that resonates with me on some subconscious level becomes my writing subject, becomes my vehicle for exploration and creation.

But this morning and last night I was thinking too hard about writing. Thinking too hard about what to put on paper to impress the friend who asked me about writing and whether it is easy to write every single day. And what I realized is when I over think what I am going to write. When I try to impress. When I try to force. All I do is stymy my creativity. Stymy the voice inside that leads my fingers as I type. Stymy my flow.

But when I let go and just go with the most dominant thought in my head and allow it to flow through me, I know I am writing from that sacred place that ego, expectation and direction have no place because that place is infinite, sacred and abundant.

And when I appreciate going to that place and express my gratitude for having found access to that sacred space by allowing it to take me where I need to go, there is no thought, no direction, no expectation, it is what it is and I am where I am meant to be. Like the river flowing through the mountain – meandering, twisting, turning – sometimes rapid, sometimes calm. Sometimes without a ripple and sometimes full of ripples. I become one with the Universe. The Force.  And I surrender. Surrender it all to all it all to flow through me.

Allowing me to accept writing is my release. My connection to the all that is, was and ever will be and because I know this I have faith that I will write the message I am meant to hear, write and share.

And for my friend who calls me her morning coffee,  thank you for helping me to remember my gift of writing. My call to serve and to share through my Journey of Love and Light with amazing grace. Peace and blessings to you. Namaste. 

In reverence to #Oprah Winfrey and #Supersoulsunday

Last night I was trolling Facebook and that’s when I came across a SuperSoul Sunday where Oprah had pulled together the best of her guests’ responses to some questions she believes to be important and I was so glad I found it and watched it. And once I did, I knew I had been led back home. To my truth.

I understood why I love Oprah again and why she is such a strong and necessary force for our human race – spiritual race. She uses her power and her wealth to help us to shift our consciousness. She reaches out like the pure energy force she was sent here to be and draws those who are ready to hear the voice of the Divine. Those who are ready to be the change agents we were sent here to be and it matters not whether we meet in person. It just matters that together we are giving and receiving the messages of love and light. The messages we as individuals are meant to spread about hope, faith and love to bring us back to the whole.

To me, Oprah is one of the greatest because she uses her immense resources to help to facilitate that process through the power of the Internet. Knowing the Internet is the physical representation of our spiritual interconnectedness and for Oprah I am truly grateful.

So on this dark Monday morning before the rise of the sun, I extend to you some of the gems that touched my heart and soul from Supersoul Sunday.

“I have risked everything to just tell the truth. Telling the truth is not just what you say, it’s how you show up. Being your truth. “ India Arie

“When I am in myself – I am at peace with you. When I know I am centred, I’m all right. Now when I lose it, faith trembles and slides away and for that moment I am dangerous and in danger…” Dr. Maya Angelou

“God – ALL. There is no place that God is not.” Dr. Maya Angelou

“I refuse to define God. God cannot be defined ..De finis – cannot limit by defining we limit. God is always greater than we can imagine or think.” Karen Armstrong

“Rather than finding heaven on earth,  we are asked to release heaven by living on earth.” Mark Nemo.

“Of what use and bridge can I be.” Mark Nepo

“God gives us 3 answers, 1. Yes, 2. Yes but not right now. 3. No, I have something better in store for you.” Kerry Washington

“The world needs more love.”

“The world needs authentic beings to have the courage to be who they are.” Mark Nepo

“We are not the centre of the Universe. Neither ourselves as individuals. Nor our nation. Nor our culture. We are all equal. All God’s children. We will either live or stand together or we will fall.” Karen Armstrong.

Those quotes and many more are the reason I am grateful for Oprah Winfrey and her OWN because they are providing a global platform for spirituality and interconnectedness. A touchstone to remind us we are not alone. Nudging us to remember there is always someone or something beside us as we are all a part of the whole.

Taking me back to a quote I read today in my meditations for Living in Balance, that said,

“The secret of balance is knowing both our somethingness and our nothingness. Each snowflake is unique and individual unto itself – a very special creation. Together, all these tiny special creatures become a heavy snowfall capable of great beauty and of great destruction.

“Yet as snowflakes are absorbed into the vastness of the sea, the individuality that was their uniqueness becomes an important part of the greater whole, resulting in a magnificent silence.

“So it is with us! As we know and value our uniqueness, we also have the possibility of melding into and becoming part of the all-that is.

“Through our uniqueness, we become part of the whole.”

And Ms. Oprah helps us to remember and for her I am truly grateful. In reverence to a great woman who understands her somethignness and nothingness. Namaste

Slowing down can be really loud

We are such complicated people

Never sure about what we really want

When we are busy, we complain about being too busy

When life slows down in response to our request for a reprieve

We worry that we aren’t needed or wanted

We start to feel insecure

Wondering what we are meant to do next

Instead of taking the time to listen

Listen and appreciate the time our brain is giving us

To hear what it has been trying to tell us all along

Giving us the gift of time to be

To just be

Without hustling and bustling

Without rushing about blindly

When we are given the gift of time by the Universe

It is because we are deserving of it

Because we are in need of it

To get in touch with who we are

What we want out of life

And to get us back in touch with our essence selves

Sometimes it is hard for us to see ourselves face to face

To listen to ourselves

To hear that voice

Because sometimes it is telling us what we don’t want to hear

What we fear

What we don’t want to face

That maybe we are running around like a chicken with its head cut off

Because it is easier than having to face our demons

Than having to accept we need to make some changes in our lives

That some people in our lives are not there for the right reasons

That people can’t change as it is their nature

Regardless of new buzz words like behaviour

Behaviour is a direct result of our natures

We are who we are

As they are who they are

And no matter what we do

There is nothing we can do to change them

Only whether we want them in our lives or not

Some people are just dishonest and conniving

Because they are very insecure

And we know it 

But there is something about us that is being reflected back from them

And more importantly the path we may be on is not the path for us

And the Universe is answering us

By slowing us down

Giving us a reprieve from the hustle and bustle of life

And asking us to surrender

To listen

To hear

To see

To feel

Who we are

And who we are not

The question becomes

Are we brave enough

Willing enough

To see

To feel

To hear

To listen

To surrender?

Or will the noise of our silence

And quietude

Be too loud for us to bear?