Letting go of expectations

Yesterday I wrote about asking for nothing in order to be open to receive everything. It is a difficult concept to hold onto even when we start out with the best intentions because sometimes what happens to us is we reach a place we never expected. And can't believe we got there. So we desperately expect to either remain there or to reach higher. And that’s where the problems start. Expectations kick in. And all we worry about is how do we remain or reach higher. Rather than being grateful for where we are.

Expectations come as a direct result of ego. They have us believing we should have something else rather than being grateful for what we have.

Expectations cause us to compare ourselves to others and envy what they have rather than being grateful for what we do have.

Expectations cause us to worry about what other people are doing rather than doing what we want. Doing what resonates with us.

Expectations cause us to judge rather than accept.

Expectations are so normal to us that we don’t realize it is expectations that drive us crazy. Make us move beyond our present moment to something that may be outside of our reach. Or to something that may not be good for us regardless of how good it is for everyone else.

We are all individuals operating from a connected spiritual base but we cannot all be the same, operate the same.

Each one of us has a talent for something and we are meant to explore that talent. To understand it and embrace it rather than worrying about someone else’s talent and trying to steal it from them. A word of advice: all we do when we do that is frustrate ourselves because we can be no one but who we are.

We are each here to learn our individual lesson. And when we get that lesson we are tested again and moved onto the next phase of our lives by the Universe. So there is no need to expect anything. All we need do is accept, be grateful and remain present with whatever is unfolding in our lives.

Expectations are driven from our egos. The quicker we learn to be grateful for who and what we are then we clear space in our mind, body and spirit to ask for nothing in order to be open to received everything. Namaste

Sometimes we have to ask for nothing

Sometimes it is better to ask for nothing

And to be open to receive everything

Sometimes it is better to journey

And not to worry about the destination

Sometimes it is better to not worry

And to just trust

Sometimes it is better to take self out of the equation

And embrace the all

Sometimes it is good to just be

And not worry about doing

Sometimes it is better to breathe in the power of the Universe

And breathe out the destructive forces of the Universe

Surrendering totally to all that is, was and ever will be

Sometimes we are afraid of that which we cannot control

When all we need do is release all that is harmful to us

Sometimes we need to close our eyes

And be still

Ask for nothing

Nothing at all

But surrender ourselves

To breathe in the potential for love

Laughter and joy

And accept them as our guides

Accept the feelings we receive from these emotions

As our gifts from the Universe

Sometimes we need to breathe out

Exhaling slowly

Allowing ourselves to let go of fear

Anxiety and pain

Allowing ourselves to open

Open

Truly open

To possibility

Understanding and accepting

Our minds are powerful

Enabling us to be powerful

Change agents for ourselves

And when we do

An incredible power emerges from deep within

That has the capacity to help us to surrender

To believe

To trust

To have faith and hope

Life is all about being in the moment

Treasuring the moment

Because in that moment

We understand

We are good enough

Worthy enough

It is only when we project

Try to stir ourselves

That we feel inadequate

Worry that we can’t do

Fear that we will not live up to expectations

But when we surrender and remain

In the moment

We know we are given another opportunity

To experience the wonders and joys of life

Every moment we can let go of the dark thoughts

That threaten to pull us away

From our essence selves

And open ourselves to thoughts of light

Lifting our spirits

Helping us to be

Who we are meant to be

Loving

Kind

Compassionate

Whole beings

Full of love and light

Sometimes we have to ask for nothing

And be open to receive everything

When we are compassionate

I was feeling sad because I have been hearing story after story this week from people who are being treated without compassion. People who are hurting at the moment but no one is seeing their pain. All they are concerned about is their gain but what they forget is ultimately when we lack compassion, we lack self-fulfillment which eventually leads to self-destruction.

Compassion is one of the greatest emotions we can ever experience because as Arthur Jersild says, “Compassion is the ultimate and most meaningful embodiment of emotional maturity. It is through compassion that a person achieves the highest peak and deepest reach in his or her search for self-fulfillment.”

Last night I tossed and turned when I got home. Feeling like I need to do something. And so I took to the Internet – God bless the power of the Internet ­- to research compassion. To understand more about what compassion means to us as human and spiritual beings and why it was evoking such strong emotion within me. And once I discovered its importance,  I felt the need to share the importance of compassion in our lives particularly at this time of the year when we are expected to be joyful and reverent. When we are supposed to observe peace and love. When we are meant to be spreading good cheer.

I go back to the blog I wrote on Monday asking that we be mindful of those who are suffering at the moment. To remember to hold them in our thoughts if we are not suffering. To remember to reach out to them with empathy and compassion. To remember that compassion is the basis of all morality.

As Arnold Toynbee says, “Compassion is the desire that moves the individual self to widen the scope of its self-concern to embrace the whole of the universal self.”

Compassion is that which joins us together as spiritual beings. No man or woman wants to feel unloved, unheard or like he or she does not belong and when we lack compassion that is how we make him or her feel.

So I am urging us all to remember it prophets not a man to fail to show others that they understand what they are experiencing. It prophets him only when he demonstrates he will move mountains to help them to return to their natural state. Recognising if he does not, not only will others self-destruct but so shall he. Because we are one. Emotions and feelings intertwined more than we will ever know or understand.

Please above all else, let’s remember to put ourselves in the shoes of those that suffer and extend a hand to help them because in doing so, we help ourselves. Remembering always that expressing compassion is the greatest gift we can ever give to others because in doing so, we receive its gift as well.

And so I will end with another quote to remind us of the importance of compassion. “A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day. A string of such moments can change the course of your life.” Christopher Germer, The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion

And just by writing this blog I feel  the sadness I felt lifting and being replaced with joy to know I am trying to move us in the direction of expressing compassion by teaching myself about its importance and sharing my lesson with you.

The dichotomy of life

Some days I am in the rhythm

Some days I am in the groove

Some days I feel like I can move mountains

Some days I feel like singing and dancing at the top of my lungs

Some days I believe in miracles

Because I accept I am a miracle

Some days there is nothing that can stop me

Other days I feel still

Like a rock

Like a heavy burden is weighing me down

Like someone is holding me back

I can’t shake the feeling

The tiredness

The aggravation

The place of in between

And then I stop and listen

Listen to the stillness

The quietness

Tugging at the noose around my neck

And I know it is up to me

To shift from the place of dread

To take me to the place where I feel I belong

The place where I feel wanted and needed

The place of abundance

But in doing so I respect the days

When I feel low

As much as I appreciate the days when I feel high

Because without one I would know no other

To be on a constant high no matter what

Means I am not pushing myself

Not bursting through my boundaries

Not challenging myself

And then I wonder why I feel like I am in the doldrums

Why everything is so mundane

Easy and boring

So I am always pushing

Seeking

Trying

And sometimes I go down a path that takes me back to the doldrums

While other times I am on a path of gold and diamonds

But what I am learning most of all is that I get the greatest satisfaction

When I do

Rather than speak

When I serve

Rather than criticize

When I contribute

Rather than sitting on the sidelines complaining

So I accept the days of darkness

And welcome the days of light

They are both necessary parts of my growth

My existence

My life

And for the good and bad days

I am truly grateful

Because it means I am alive

And breathing

And living

The dichotomy of life

Light and dark

Dark and light

Namaste

Remembering those who suffer during this holiday season

This is the time of year when everyone is full of great cheer. One of my favourite times of the year.  Yet there are many families and people that are suffering right now. Loved ones who have recently passed over to the other side or loved ones on their way to the other side. There are families being ripped apart due to divorce, lost jobs, anxiety and all sorts of strife we will never know about or understand.

So today the beginning of a new week, I ask that we all observe in our hearts a moment of love and peace for these people. A moment of silence and reverence. To send them as much positive energy as we can to help lift their spirits in this time of love and joy because their hearts cannot feel it at the moment.

I write this because my family recently sent a Christmas card to a man and a woman who used to come to Bermuda every single year and go out on my husband’s boat when he ran his watersports business. They came year after year and brought friends with them too. They were one of his best marketing agents ever. We even had them to our house a few times. They became our friends even though they were much older than us and came from a completely different background and place from us.

But we lost touch with them as sometimes happens when life takes us on different paths. But for some reason this year, I felt the need to send them a Christmas card. To touch base. Only to come home to receive a voice message from a very broken man. A man who told us that his beloved wife and best friend had passed a few weeks before. That she had battled cancer for the past two years but could not take it anymore and slipped away to the other side.

The pain in his voice was enough to cause both my husband and I to feel every bit of his pain. He told us how lonely he was to have lost the love of his life. How sad it was for him to lose her because they were still very much in love even though they had been married for 30 years plus. Even now as I type this story I feel his pain despite him being in another country.

So today, this Monday, another start to a week, please take a moment today to think of all those you know who are experiencing pain and send them positive energy. Help them to find their way out of the darkness if it is meant to be by just being there. Start by being grateful for the blessings we have in our own lives. Allowing that gratitude to radiate out to those who feel they have nothing to be grateful for. Remembering not to take anything for granted because each of us will experience loss in our lives.

During this season of good cheer, let’s all spread as much glad tidings as we can as there are many people and families that need it. With love and light to our friends and families who need us in spirit right now, we are with you. As we are all one. Namaste.

A lesson from a tangled earring

There are lessons in everything we do particularly in what we consider to be our most mundane, everyday tasks as they are in actuality reflections of who we are. How we truly see our lives unfolding. They are indicators of what is inside of us.

So when we take the time to listen and take heed, to observe what we are doing, being present, we see in every single thing, there is a lesson for us.

Take this morning, I was trying to get an earring out of a tangle of jewelry in my jewelry box. And I struggled for a few minutes trying to free the earring from the mess. Getting frustrated by the minute because I really wanted to wear those earrings. I was about to give up and in making the decision to let go, suddenly the earring came loose. Just like that. Free in my hand. Unbelievable I thought at first. And then I realized it was not unbelievable.

I stood there for a few seconds staring at the earring and the tangled mess that had fallen back into my jewelry box and realized I was being given a life lesson that I had been dismissing. When I stop fighting against what is meant to be, when I let go and let the Universe give me what is meant for me, without struggle, resistance or frustration, the tangled mess I feel I am in will give way to the treasure that is meant for me.

I looked at myself in the mirror. Stared at the reflection of who I am staring back at me and told myself, my life is unfolding as it should and all I need do is live it as it resonates with me. Live it to the fullest. Not worrying about tomorrow or what is beyond my reach but to enjoy every aspect of it even those things that don’t feel comfortable or good that come my way because they are the mess that is tangling me to distract me from what I know feels good on the inside. What calls my name.

So all I am meant to do is to be present to receive the guidance of the universe, the sound of my inner voice and be grateful for everything that comes my way as my earring showed me this morning. Namaste

Creativity comes

Creativity comes

When we open our minds

Without expectation

Without direction

Without plan

Creativity comes 

When we allow ourselves to flow

When we allow ourselves to get into the flow

Like a river carrying us to a place unknown

But trusting we were put on that river for a reason

Regardless of how great the rapids may become

Regardless of the twists and turn

When we let go

Let go

And let go

We understand

Creativity leaves us when we try too hard

Think too much

Panic

When we think we have something to prove

To anyone but ourselves

When we lose sight of why we were put on that river

In the first place

When we fear the rapids

The twists and turns

So much 

We try to swim upstream

Wondering why the journey

Is taking us further from our destination

When we can see the end

But we can not get there

But when we stop

Close our eyes

And breathe

In

And out

Inhaling

Exhaling

Slowly

Slowly

Slowly

All that is, was and ever will be

That’s when the door to creativity

Opens

At first

A crack

A sliver

A passage for us to squeeze through

Willing us to surrender

Surrender it all

And let our intuition

Gut

Inner voice

Guide us

Take us

Show us the way

With gratitude and abandon

That’s when the door flings wide open

Allowing the light of love to burst through

Lighting our way

Filling our whole being

With possibility

Faith

Love

And hope

Allowing us to see the beauty in all things

Because we know we are all things

And nothing at the same time

That’s when we understand

We were sent here

To create

Procreate

To love all and nothing

Because that’s how we are created

Through the process of love

We understand with certainty

It is love that is at the base of all things

Including hatred

Jealousy

And fear

When we know and understand these things

We free ourselves

From the bondage and prison

Of self-loathing and fear

Instead we embrace love

Because we understand

We were not sent here to destroy

Denigrate or alienate

No we are sent here

To create

Love

Procreate

To let go

Surrender

Trust

Listen

Listen to the sound of the Voice

That will never lead us astray

We create without thinking

Without worrying

Without panicking

Without fear

We create from a place of abundance

Gratitude and hope

Knowing there is enough for us all

In this world and the next

Enough to allow us to feel

The love of all that is

Was

And ever will be

Allowing creativity to come

Flow

Take us 

Where we need to go

To be

And we relax on the river

Through the rapids

Twist and Turns

Letting them 

Teach us

Take us

Where we are

meant to be

Amen and Namaste