True and enduring love is the most testing love

Relationships require work. They test us. Sometimes break us.  But in most cases help to make us. Through long and committed relationships, we learn so much more about ourselves – what we can and cannot take. What makes us thrive and what makes us want to run away.

True and honest relationships are lasting relationships because they ask us to dig deep. To share unconditionally. To open to our most vulnerable sides in order for us and our relationships to flourish and to grow.

Too often we become mired in self that we do not see the benefit of the people we have allowed into our innermost circles. People that are here as gifts to help balance us and to help us to get through the toughest times in our lives just by being there.

There are also some relationships that are not meant to last and we cannot beat ourselves up for letting them go because they were only meant to last for a season. To teach us something about ourselves. And once we get the lesson we are free to move on with love and light. Not with malice or mal-intent. If we are harbouring any of those feelings, we have not learnt the lesson we were meant to learn and that lesson will continue to follow us – different faces but same issue – until we get the lesson.

Marriages or long lasting committed relationships are the most challenging because we have to be ourselves at some point in our relationship and that means letting down our guards. Letting down the guise we put up for the rest of the world and being who we truly are. It is only for so long that we can pretend that everything is okay. That we are okay. But eventually we have to be who we are and be willing to share that part of ourselves with our partners. And they with us as well.

When we are willing to be who we are honestly and truly, we find our relationships are the most wonderful gift we can be given from the universe because we are allowed to relax. To take off the armour and to be accepted for who we are – imperfect and flawed human beings trying to grow. Learning to love and to forgive through our everyday life existence. Not the extraordinary but the ordinary.

And it is for these reasons that we must show gratitude to our partners as much as we can and not take them for granted because their very presence helps us to be who we are and what we are every single day.

Enduring relationships require work. Require patience. Require love and forgiveness. But they are worth it in the end because they help to ground us to the reality of who we are and what we came here to learn. Our life partners are reflections of who we are. Mirrors of our souls. Sent to show us our deepest and darkest selves. Our shadow selves. Teaching us that often what we dislike about them is what we dislike about ourselves. And if we want that relationship to flourish we must own our dislike and magically  the resentment disappears.

And when we let go and surrender to our relationship, we find we see the world through a whole different lens  - one of love and light, peace and forgiveness, and full of abundance and grace because we become beacons of love and light radiating out for the rest of the world to share in. There is nothing more liberating and satisfying than enduring love, true and unconditional love because that love begins with us and us alone. We cannot love another fully unless we learn to love ourselves first. 

In Reverence to Remembrance Day

Today is Remembrance Day. The day when many reflect on those lost in the war. 11.11. Binary number which represents the base. And a prime number divisible by nothing but itself.

I have decided to not only reflect on those lost in the war but to reflect on all those who have walked before me and opened the door for me to be where I am today. Those who have carried the burden of race, injustice, inequality and chose to make the way better for each generation that follows. Allowing us presently on this earth to have an easier time than the generation before. It is with gratitude that I think of my ancestors, fore bearers and original inhabitants of this earth who had the foresight to do what they did in order for us to be as we are today.

I think of my mother and all that she sacrificed so that I can be the woman I am today. Even though her life was shorter than mine, she did all she could to enable me to have the tools I have today.

I recently heard on the BBC that the first two years of a child’s life determine whether he or she will be an optimist or pessimist. And it all depends on the nurturing our children receive during those first two years as to whether they will view the world from an optimistic perspective or pessimistic perspective. And I believe those words to be true particularly since I managed to come through a very dark period in my life and recognize it now as a gift from the Universe to give me wings to fly. That ability to turn a negative into a positive had to have come from somewhere and I always pondered where. The explanation about the nurturing and love of a mother in the first two years of a child’s life is so important to me. It literally shapes our futures. So I am grateful to my mother for having given me two years of love when my life first began.

And now I understand why it was so important for me to spend the early years of my children’s lives with them because there was something imprinted on my brain about the need to nurture and love them for their first few years. I obviously carried that love with me subconsciously and wanted to pass that gift on to my children to help them build a foundation of love, trust and security. Giving them the ability to go out into the world as giving citizens.

Today is Remembrance Day – a day to remember those who we have lost. Those who we have loved. Those who died for us. Those that will remain in our hearts and souls forever because we are a part of them as they are a part of us.

Remembrance day is a virtuous and holy day, however you may interpret that phrase, to allow us to remember we are all here in passing and it is up to us to truly live and to leave behind a legacy we can be proud of. To help and share rather than to destroy and destruct. Life goes on infinitely through the rebirth of nature every single day. Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust. From the womb of Mother Earth we come and through her body we will go.

In reverence to Remembrance Day with gratitude and love. Namaste.

Setting personal boundaries is an honour to ourselves

Setting boundaries in our lives can be very challenging particularly when there are people that are very close to us who believe we always have something to give. We feel obligated to help them knowing that in helping them, we are taking from ourselves at times. Some people in our lives feel like we are always supposed to be there no matter what they say or do to us or expect for us to give regardless of what we are experiencing or going through.

There are some who make assumptions about the lives of others based on the external trappings they see but they have no idea what is really going on in people’s lives behind closed doors. Behind the physical trappings.

Sometimes there is just nothing more to give and when we realize there isn't,  we go to the extreme and close ourselves off from people to protect ourselves from their demands. From their desires. Because we need space. We need time to understand who we are under the guise we have put forward to the outside world.

Even the strongest people can be weak at times and sometimes they need comfort and support too but when the world thinks the strong ones are always strong or always have something to give, they keep demanding. Keep requesting. Keep asking.

But for all of us, even those who are strong, what we must establish are personal boundaries. Fences in our own minds about how much we can give before we become depleted. Before we turn our backs and move away because we cannot take any more of the drama or energy depletion that is happening to us. That we have allowed to happen to us because we failed to establish boundaries in the first place.

So it is up to us to establish boundaries early on. To be honest about what we can and cannot give. What we can and cannot take. That way no one can push beyond those boundaries unless we allow them to. Unless we give them permission.

Sometimes this boundary setting can be very difficult because when we are giving people, as I am most of the time, we don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. We don’t want to seem like we are rejecting anyone. Or being selfish. But at the end of the day if we keep giving, we  will end up being the ones who are feeling the most rejected because we will be rejecting what we truly feel deep down inside.

I am so grateful for my meditation this morning because I woke up feeling like I am constantly being asked to give. Constantly being asked to be the strong one. Constantly providing for everyone else. And I was struggling with the pressure. With the expectations of everyone else. And then I came to Day 6 of the Gratitude meditation to find the answer given to me at the right time by the Universe,  “Saying “no” can be a most loving gesture that insures a harmonious  future in any relationship.  When we honour what is most important to us, we honour others as well.”

It is okay,and more importantly, it is necessary to set boundaries in our relationships, whatever they may be, to allow for our relationships to flourish and not to be one-sided. Depleting and exhausting.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart Universe for answering my prayer, my call this morning, I am truly grateful. Because I know in setting personal boundaries I am honouring the place in me as I am honouring the place in others. Namaste.

Letting go opens us up to infinite possibility

Yesterday I was talking to my Spirit Mother. Telling her about my frustrations about where I am going in my life or at least where I am not going. Lamenting about knowing what I want but not being able to get there. That what I am seeking seems to be eluding me. But what I am  not seeking seems to be finding me all the time. Forcing me to have to make decisions I did not think I would have to make at this point in my life.

She told me I am so lucky because at least I know what I want. So many people go through life not really knowing what they want. And I thought about our conversation all day after that. Went to bed with it on my mind. Woke up this morning to do Day 5 of the 21 Days of Gratitude  Meditation series and found a true gift from the Universe, an answer to my concern in Day 5’s meditation called, “Setting Goals and Letting Go.”

The daily thought alone sent chills down my back, “I set my goals, allow the power of the Living Universe to take over and I enjoy the ride.”

Followed by this gem of advice by Tao Te Ching, “When I let go of who I am, I become what I might be.” Wow, I thought. Wow.

And that’s when it all hit me. The majority of my life has been lived in the flow. Living by letting go and trusting in the Universe that everything is going to be okay. That if I wake up in the morning, I am being given the opportunity to live another day. Live my life to the fullest. Not dwell on what was or what could be but just to appreciate the moment I am  in.

And it all really started with the death of my mother when I was thrown into such a tail spin that I could not make out the difference between intention or expectation, light or dark so I decided to just exist. To just live. To just be rather than try to understand the unknowns. Rather than try to dictate where I am meant to be in life. To just enjoy the ride.

But then once I became a mother and I wanted so desperately to be the best role model I could be for my children and to be there for them every step of the way, I began to set goals and hold on to them thinking I would show them how wonderful I am and how I can manifest anything I want instantly. Frustrating myself to no end.

What I discovered even more so was when I returned to the work world after being absent for eight years was that people were very goal and task oriented. The business world had changed from the one I knew and loved where we established relationships with our customers to one of delivering results. So I, too, started thinking that way and found something was lacking within me.

Listening to Louie Schwartzberg this morning brought everything back into perspective for me and helped me to understand rather than trying to control every aspect of my life, I must go back to being the girl that knew it was wise to make room for what I do not consciously  know.  To embrace the unexpected surprises that may be waiting for me.

He reminded me that once we set our intention, it is  important to have faith that the  power of the Living Universe will bring us more than what we ever imagined. As has been the case for most of my life.

When I look back to the day I become a Motherless Daughter and the light seem to go out of the world and then fast forward to the present moment, I see myself as the woman of light I have become and am still becoming so much so that I am filled with gratitude and wonder.

Letting go of attachment for narrow specific results opens the soul, the heart and the true self to new heights. Allowing us to soar like the Phoenix. Rising from the ashes over and over again as one intention dies to give birth to another allowing my life to move in directions I never imagined.

According to Louie, It is “the mystery of the unknown that sets colour and dimension to our lives.” That statement is so true. So inspiring because it allows us all to move into that space of wonder and gratitude giving us all the ability to receive the gifts and treasures of the Universe when we have faith and trust that we are exactly where we need to be.

Practising gratitude daily by giving thanks for having the ability to not only dream our dreams but to  live them opens us up to infinite possibility. Being mindful of our thoughts so that when the path becomes rocky or takes an unexpected turn, we remember tot take a deep breath, stop and  listen to our soul’s message then repeat, “I set my goals, allow the power of the Living Universe to take over and I enjoy the ride.”

Releasing the need for control. Hard I know because we always want to know what is happening to us and those around us all the time. After all we are in an age of instant news. Instant results so we have grown to expect the same for ourselves.

We have become conditioned to believing that if we make a decision, instantly everything in our lives will change. Isn’t that what the Internet has taught us? Isn’t that what we see on our friend’s Facebook pages – these beautiful, colourful glossy lives captured in an instant?

But what we don’t see is all the production that goes on behind the scenes to get the glossy perfect pictures and stories out into the world. The mishaps, the unexpected detours that allowed the glossy pictures and tall tales in the end -  the process is not captured for us to see.

And that is what we must remember. What we see as outcomes are not indicative of the process that took place to get to the final result.

It is important to have goals, intentions and an idea of who we want to become and what we want to do but it is even more important to let go of our goals, intentions and thoughts of who we are in order for us to become what we might be. If we are so rigid in our expectations, we lose sight of the paths that come our way every day. The detours that can get us to where we would like to be in the most unexpected ways.

When we close our eyes to the infinite possibilities because we have set our intention or goal because we believe the path we are on is the only way we will get to where we want to be, we may find we lost the opportunity to become something more than what we ever imagined for ourselves.

What a beautiful meditation this morning. What a wonderful gift from the Universe. “Being unattached to one specific form of any goal is how we leave room for wondrous surprises that may turn out better than we ever imagined.” Letting go opens us up to more opportunities than we ever imagined. Wow. And amen.

Ask for what you want

“Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it.” Maya Angelou

A wonderful and powerful quote I came across spoken by the very wise and timeless Dr. Maya Angelou. When this woman speaks, profound words usually roll out of her mouth. She is a modern day Sage to me.

When I saw these words and pondered on them for a bit, I felt them deep down inside. And thought about how often we ask for something and then when we get it, realize it wasn't what we really wanted in the first place. That we weren't ready for what we asked for yet or didn't really mean to ask for it in the first place. Or thought what we asked for would bring us instant satisfaction and happiness. Only to find ourselves disappointed. Tired. More stressed because with any change, there comes a period of discomfort and confusion. There is no such thing as instant gratification because life is a process.

We are constantly sending conflicting messages to ourselves and to the Universe. When we ask for a new job, a new relationship, or for anything that will deliver us from the oppressive situation we may find ourselves in, and then we get it, we discover it wasn't really the new job or relationship or anything but where we were, we were seeking, it was a basic desire we were lacking not really the situation change we got.

But what we attract with the new job or relationship sometimes turns out to be worse than what we had because we had not dealt with our own internal battles. Forcing us to discover our underlying desire still remains unfulfilled so we end up bouncing from one situation to another because we have not settled within ourselves what it is we truly want. 

“Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it”,  is very powerful because what it tells us is that the Universe always answers our strongest desires and requests in exactly the way we ask for it so we must always be prepared for what comes our way because we are the directors of the movie of our lives.

In order to get what we truly want and need, we must give ourselves the opportunity to be still, to be quiet, to walk in nature or whatever allows us to hear our inner voice, to hear our deepest desires bringing forth the truth of what we need and want. Only after these moments of quiet contemplation, meditation or prayer should we then ask for whatever it is that we want.

That way we will be prepared to get what comes our way knowing it may not manifest in the way we envisioned but we will be given our greatest desire in the form that will be best for us to handle. Allowing us to accept our gift from the Universe, the answer to our prayer with love and gratitude rather than with regret and disappointment.

Life is all about the messages we send out into the Universe. All about who we are because we attract who we are over and over again. And more importantly life is a process. Change after change. Decision after decision until we find the rhythm of our existence. The reason we are here because we always get what we ask for. The question becomes are we prepared to receive it?

The moral of the story is be careful what you ask for because you might just get it.....

As I follow my passion

“As I follow my passion the world becomes a better place.”

“As I follow my passion, the world becomes a better place.”

“As I follow my passion, the world becomes a better place.”

I heard this in my meditation this morning. A 21 day meditation experience about gratitude hosted by the Mentors Channel. And this was the message of the meditation this morning. And from the moment I heard it, I knew I was being sent a message by the Divine. I knew the Universe was speaking to me this morning.

This message was loud and clear in the last words spoken by Louie Schwartzberg, the presenter, before the meditation ended. “As I follow my passion, the world become a better place.” And when I opened my eyes, I totally understood what this message was telling me. Guiding me to accept.

If I am working within my passion, if I embody my passion then the world becomes a better place purely because I view it differently. I see life as a process, a journey. Not static. Not still but rather a moving and every changing dynamic that will place me in situations that seem untenable and unmanageable sometimes but if I am living a life grounded in my passion then I will accept that life is dynamic not static.

To know the darkness is as much a part of the process as is the light. Every person I encounter and who crosses my path is really an aspect of me that I am dealing with. No person is a stranger in my life. We are all one, of the Universal soul.

Living a life of passion helps me to see that the world is a great and abundant place, it is our projections  on it that make it seem inhospitable and dangerous. To live a life of passion, is to open ourselves to creativity which allows us to grow and expand because each one of us was sent here to create.

When we see life through the eyes of children, we see the world truly is a place of abundance and possibility. Children live passionate lives every single day because they are not jaded as we, adults, have become by projecting ourselves into a future we have no control over because it never comes or by living in the past which no longer exists. They recognize that the only moment they have is the one they are in and nothing else matters.

Living a life of passion helps us to find purpose and meaning. My writing every single morning brings me closer to the passionate life I am meant to be living as it helps me to dig deep and to explore who I am and what I am allowing to derail my viewpoint on life, my outlook on the world. It allows me to create, the desire we all carry within us to create something every day. 

This morning's meditation helped me to understand because I begin my day from a creative space that I am able to view the world as a wonderful place. Allowing me to be grateful that I am here experiencing this journey, this process.

Living a life of passion allows me to see the world through rose coloured glasses because it grounds me to the now. Allowing me to be grateful and receptive to everything that comes my way. Giving me the ability to feel and know gratitude and love. Opening me up to possibility. Tapping me into the infinite power of the Universe.

Allowing me to fully embrace the thought of the meditation today “As I follow my passion, the world becomes a better place” because I become a better person. More willing to share. More willing to give. More willing to open my heart and soul to the pulse of the heartbeat of the Divine. Namaste.

We are here to share

We are here to share

To help

To be of service

To each other

To pull each other up

When one is down

To lift each other up

When one’s spirit

Needs lifting

To honour each other

When the time is right

To praise each other

When the time is right

To support each other

Always

In times of good

And times of bad

But sometimes

We get so caught up in self

That we neglect to see

How interconnected we really are

Truly are

We neglect to remember

We are 

Of the One Source

Of the Divine Spirit

Emanating from the same soul

So instead we become

Selfish

Self centered

Hoarders

So afraid 

Of tomorrow

That we forget 

To live today

We store

We hide

We lie

We cheat

Keeping us mired in the darkness

In the dungeons of doom

Busyness distracting us

From being who we are

And what we are meant to be

We look up

Through the iron grates

The iron bars

Up high

So high from where we sit

Mired in darkness

And see those on the mountaintop

Claiming all the light

And then we wonder

And lament

About

How they got to the light

When we are still struggling

On the treadmill

And no matter how hard 

We push

And stride

We remain stationary

Standing still

Not moving

As life 

And they

Pass us by

Breathless

Resentful

Angry

Until we stop

And look

At ourselves

And see

It is because

We have put self first

Ahead of helping

Instead of supporting

Instead of present moment living

Instead of being grateful for

All that we have

All that we are

All that we have experienced

Stopping us from seeing

We are just as capable

Just as fortunate

As those on the mountaintop

But we are stopping ourselves

From getting there

Because we refuse to share

Refuse to help

Refuse to promote

And assist

Unless it serves us

Keeping us down in the dungeons

Chained to the rock

Until we shift

Our thinking

To one of abundance

And gratitude

We see the climb 

Was never

Too steep

The grates

The bars

Had no key

That they were

Self imposed

By us

By our own

Limitations

Realizing all at once

The only thing stopping us

Was us

Not being thankful

For every experience

In our lives

Not being grateful

For every person that crossed our path

Not seeing that

We are evolving

As we imagine

Because

We are products 

Of our imagination

More so than our circumstances

Because

It is our imaginations

That create our circumstances

And if we don’t like our circumstances

We have to either 

Move away

Change

Or accept them

100%

As they are

Because we are the masters

Of our destinies

Dreamers

Of our dreams

And that’s why

There are those people

Who could be us

High up on the mountaintop

Basking in the light

Not because

They are selfish

Or self-centered

But

Because they recognize

They are the light

As are we

Because we are all

Of the Universal Soul

Of the One source

Here to share

Not hoard

Here to teach

Not to block

Here to learn

Not stagnate

Here to prosper

Not starve

Here to grow

Not wilt

Here to explore

Not hide

Here to live

While we can

Not wither

And

Be exactly

Who we came here to be

Sharing

Loving

Supporting

Spiritual beings

Having

A human experience

At the same time

In the same dimension

Of the One Source

Of the Divine Spirit

Of the Universal heart beat

Namaste