A fantastical day in Oxford

Yesterday was one of those picture perfect family days when everything fell into place without plan. Without expectation. Because we allowed ourselves to go with the flow. We allowed ourselves to surrender to the moment we were in and followed where that moment took us.

We are on holiday in Oxford England. And though it is really strange that it is just the three of us, my husband, daughter and me, we have learnt to adjust as our son enjoys his last week in his summer programme.

Deciding what to do with a ten year old girl to keep her entertained can be taxing sometimes because our interests can vary so yesterday rather than trying to decide, we just did. The weather has been glorious for us here almost as if England is trying to entice us. Trying to let us see all of her beauty and glory under the guise of perfect weather.  England is a beautiful place. It just has lousy weather but this week we have had very little rain and the temperature has been lovely. Not too cold and not too hot.

We have been doing a lot of walking. Discovering the canal right behind our accommodations and walking along it seeing all of the barges and very happy and relaxed people taking us back to last year when we were on the Sancerre on the River Thames. My husband longing to be back on the water. So much so that we even investigated whether we could rent a barge for the day but discovered much to our chagrin that we could not. Too much prep work said the barge owner for just a one day rental.

So yesterday we just wandered and ended up in the Botanical Gardens which turned into a magical experience. We saw the black pine tree that Tolkien loved to sit under and legend has it that it was this tree that inspired him to write Lord of the Rings. I stood in front of that tree and felt its powerful energy flow through me. Tingles running up and down my spine. Asking Tolkien and those who came before him through the spirit of the tree to give me the courage to write what I am meant to write. To put my writing out there even if it “fails”. To accept that sometimes what is defined as failure is actually victory because the failure come in the not doing rather than in trying and not succeeding. To allow me the strength to accept the judgement of those who will read my work and not like it. To accept I will not please everyone at all times. And as I was allowing my thoughts to flow into the tree, I could feel tears stinging the corners of my eyes because I knew I was surrendering all to the ancestors who had gone before by invoking the spirit and creative side of Tolkien through the vast and steadfast roots of the magnificent black pine.

Walking through the Gardens we were blessed with sunshine, large bumble bees, views to die for,

strawberries that tasted like candy, and an array of colours of flowers that looked like something out of a fantasy novel. I felt such inspiration and joy in that garden that whatever troubles I may have felt evaporated in that instant because I knew in the grand scheme of things they were insignificant compared to what life does every single day to survive. Compared to the joys and wonders that are free in life.

Walking through the medicinal section of the Gardens and seeing the natural remedies for everything. The plants used for treatment of malaria, for the treatment of cancer, for the treatment of irritated bowels and understanding that nature takes care of it all when we allow it to. When we surrender to the natural way of living rather than forcing what is not meant to be. The cure is often right there in front of us if we were to just stop and smell the roses. To stop and listen to our inner core. To hear what we are meant to hear.

And then after we finished in the magical garden, we walked across the street to the dock and rented a punt and we punted down the Cherwell River. Like a family out of the romantic era. My husband standing at the stern guiding us with his stick. My daughter at the bow with her paddle feeding the ducks as we punted down the river. Taking in the picturesque scenery as we silently moved down the river. Families picnicking on the riverbanks. Couples holding hands and walking the path. Children squealing and chasing each other. Trees rustling in the breeze. Me lying in the middle of the punt like a queen taking in all of the scenery on either side of us. Feeling do blessed. So free. So indulgent. So grateful.

And then we finished our day last night with a wonderful family dinner. Chatting about the day. Just being in each other’s company at our local restaurant, The Rickety Press. Going to bed last night feeling so grateful for all the blessings in my life. For all that I am and my family. For a wonderful day in the out of doors reminding me about the pleasures and treasures of existing and being. For going with the flow and surrendering to the winds of fate. Allowing them to take us where we were meant to be with gratitude and faith. And for the splendours of yesterday I am truly grateful. 

Thoughts and feelings

Thoughts and feelings are very powerful things. They can take the colour out of a beautiful day. The wind out of our sails. The power out of our belief in self.

They can shift us from feeling on top of the world to being at the bottom looking up at everything and everyone as if they are too heavy to shift. Too much for us to bear.

Thoughts and feelings control the outer version of who we are as we duel with the inner version of who we truly are. They distort our essence self particularly when they are fuelled by the ego. Which is ultimately fuelled by our fears.

Thoughts and feelings dictate our outlook because they become the energy we project. The energy we reflect. Refract. Repel. According to where our thoughts and feelings are at the time.

But when we want the colour back in the day. The sun to shine through again and the wind to lift our sails, it is up to us to shift our thoughts and feelings even when we feel we can’t. Particularly when we feel we can’t because we are being asked by the Universe to learn a lesson. Open to a lesson. Open to compassion. To shift our thoughts and feeling so the world will not be so monochromatic but the bright and vivid one that it truly is.

What we need to accept is that life sometimes will take the wind out of our sails, take the colour out of our world, the power out of self but in doing so it is giving us the opportunity to find them all again. To see them all again. This time from a different perspective and vantage point. This time from a place of understanding, respect and love.

And when we do take heed of the lessons and the blessing that we are not perfect, that our lives will not always be perfect, that our love will not always be perfect then we will not be so hard on ourselves when we react in ways we should not. Then we will not berate ourselves when things don’t go as planned.

Then we will just shift our thoughts and feelings to allow the colour back in our lives, the joy back in our heart, gratitude back into our psyche and when we let go of our ego and invite in love and understanding, our whole outlook shifts. Our whole being opens up. The bars come down. And we invite in love and possibility. Colour and life.

Thoughts and feelings are very powerful things because they help us to see the world from either a monochromatic perspective or from a vivid and bright colours perspective. Full of magic and awe. Full of love. Instead of dread and drudgery. Instead of hate and war.

I like the colours in the world, the sunshine on my face, hope and faith above all us so as much as I am humanly capable I love to look at the world through rose coloured glasses. This way there is little time for me to shut out the possibility and abundance that is there, right here, in this moment for me. No matter how dim it may seem. No matter how grim.  There is always colour and beauty in our world whenever we choose to see it. Namaste.

God only gives us what we can bear Shakira Hunt

I had already written my blog for today when I came across a heartfelt plea from my great niece Shakira Hunt asking for support in her uphill battle to complete University. And after I read it with heavy heart I thought I had to write something just for her. And in doing so realised I was not just writing for her but for all of us that face our darkest days. For all of us who struggle from time to time and see no point in continuing.

Because what I realise as I age and as I look back over the times when I wanted to give up and sometimes did. When I saw no point in continuing and sometimes did. Every single one of those times that I let go of my dream, a short while later someone else did what I let go off. And then I would be frustrated, angry and feel like the world was against me by giving someone else my dream. But you know what the world did nothing. It was I who surrendered my dream to someone else.

No one else can take our dream away from us. Nothing else can take our dreams away from us. The only one who can ever take our dream from us is us. We are the only ones to blame for getting within reach of the finish line but giving up blaming everyone and everything else for our shortcomings. No one or nothing else has the power over us until we surrender our power to them.

Hard as it may seem and as cruel as it may seem, everything that happens in our lives happens for us not to us. I remember a time when I was about my great niece’s age many years ago, I felt like my burden was too heavy to bear. Everything I touched seemed to turn sour. Everywhere I turned doors were slamming in my face. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and cease to exist. Thinking at least then life would not matter because mine would be over.

And during that time I called upon one of my favourite teachers. Crying.  And bearing my soul to her. A woman I had not spoken to in years but a woman who was in my life at around the time I lost my mother and I remembered how much better she made me feel. How much she validated me during my time of trial so I called out to her and she answered without question, without judgement and she told me, “God only gives us what we can bear.”

“How much more can I bear?” I answered.

“Only you and God know that. And when your trials are done, you will look back on this period and see why you had to experience what you did.”

At the time I was not satisfied with her explanation. But as I age and as I face trial upon trial and doors that slam in my face. As I watch dreams slip out of my hands into the hands of others, I realise that if I want to live my life, I truly have to live it even in those days when there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel. I know everything that is happening in my life is what I have invited into it and if I don’t like it or want it, it is up to me to change my reaction to it by either accepting it for what it is and working through it or walking away and letting it go.

So to my beautiful great niece who is feeling like her burdens are too heavy to carry, what you have to decide is whether the burdens you are carrying are truly yours and if they are then you need to go for it no matter what. And if they are everyone else’s burdens then you need to surrender them back to them so you can carry your own.

Life always give us what we need. Not what we want. Good luck with your trials and your burdens. Remember if it is your dream and your dream alone, don’t let it slip through your hands into the hands of someone else. Namaste my beautiful and strong niece, you are nearing the finish line and I’ll be there along with all those who are supporting you waiting for you to cross the line with pride and joy.

Accepting I am a miracle

Lovely way to start the day again with Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey in a new 21 day Meditation Challenge. I love these challenges because they challenge me to  access something about myself I have suppressed unconsciously and allows it to flow back into my conscious.

What I rediscovered when I repeated the message of the day is Today I am open to the presence of miracles because I realised with great certainty that I am a miracle. A living and breathing miracle. Namaste Chopra and Oprah for helping me to see and realise I don't have to wait to be a miracle because I already am a miracle.

I was sent here as a miracle to help to see and hear the miracles that occur every single day of my normal life such as waking up in the morning. The fact that I breathe. Walk. Talk. Can lift things. Can remember things. The fact that I exist is a miracle as is the case with you. With us. With all of us.

Each one of us is a living and breathing miracle. And once we accept we are miracles we will discover the miracles that take place every single day in our lives. Birthing. Creation. Trees that grow. Flowers that bloom. The sun rising and setting. Rainbows after the rain. The rain. The Atmosphere. Earth.  Cars that drive. Bird that fly. Airplanes that fly through the sky. Ships that float on the ocean.

Electricity created by us to power our world. Taps that bring us water. Food that grows as sustenance for our survival. Each a miracle of its own accord. When we see the simplicity of miracles we learn that life is full of miracles because we are miracles and because we are miracles we create even more miracles.

If we spent half as much time accepting the simple daily miracles that occur as we do trying to find the next greatest miracle, we would open ourselves to so much more possibility because we would know that the greatest and most profound miracles are the simplest and most mundane acts that occur every single day.

And for the first meditation mantra of “Om” and the first thought of the 21 day meditation challenge reminding me that “today I am open to the presence of miracles”, I am truly grateful. What a blessing it is to know I am open to miracles when I accept I am a miracle. A living and breathing miracle. How powerful is that. How empowering is that thought. Knowing nothing is outside of my reach as long as I know and accept I already am a miracle. As are you. As are we. As are us all. Namaste.

Watching our children blossom before our eyes

This weekend my husband and I have watched both of our children blossoming before our eyes. Both of them experiencing a totally different city, culture and space to our own and loving every minute of it. Our daughter saying how much she loves London and now Oxford. The excitement. The people.

She told us she loved taking the tube. The more the better. According to my husband our daughter got very disappointed when they had to stay on one train the whole way of their journey. She loved hopping on and off the tube. Being amongst all the people. Going places and the escalators didn’t phase her in the least. As a matter of fact she wanted to be the first one on the escalators every time.

And then our London portion of our trip culminated in our daughter preforming in a Mama Mia production put on by her one week summer camp at the Sylvia Young Theatre School. To say my husband and I were surprised by the quality of the production is an understatement. Particularly since the camp was only for one week. The children from all parts of the world were en sync and seemed to thoroughly enjoy themselves.

We watched in awe as our daughter came into her own on the stage. Not in the least bit nervous to be amongst children she was a bit shy of just five days before. We saw our little girl who came home the first night disappointed that she did not get that many lines and was anxious to leave the camp grow into a young lady who decided to show the camp director what she had and the other children to have her role grow into several lines throughout the whole play. And by the end of the week had girls running up to hug her and tell her good bye. Girls exchanging contact details so they could keep in touch with each other. Strangers no more but kindred spirits who helped each other to put on a fantastic production.

We were so proud of our daughter for turning a bad situation into what then worked to her advantage. For seeing first hand that the only person that was holding her back was herself. For stepping into her own shoes and becoming what she thought she was capable of becoming in that week. Taking on the challenge of establishing herself in a land and amongst people foreign to herself and going for it while loving every aspect of it. We were and still are proud of her.

Then we got on the train to come to Oxford later that afternoon to see our wayward son. Yesterday we went to see him in his dorm room and were stunned to see how much he has grown in the week since we had last seen him. Now he is almost looking his father in the eyes. His voice deeper than when we last spoke with him. An independence coming from him since he had been left by us to experience dorm life. A maturity radiating from his inner core that was not there before.

Me wanting to stay in his room for as long as we could but sensing he wanted us to leave so he could get on with what he had intended to do that afternoon. Feeling him slipping away slowly but surely now that he has tasted freedom and knows he can get by on his own. Walking away from him slowly shutting the door but not before asking him if he needed his mommy for anything more.

His eyes meeting mine with a glimmer of amusement but not wanting to hurt my feelings saying, “I’m okay. Love you. Bye.” Closing the door and leaving him to get on with the remaining week of his programme.

Leading me to think how much joy our children get out of experiencing. Without our influence. Them being allowed to develop their own tastes. Their own thoughts and belief. Their own selves. Imagine if because I was so afraid of escalators I had not allowed my daughter to ride an escalator. I would have cheated her out of the experience of riding the tube and she would never have known just how much she loves being on the tube. And escalators for that matter.

And then knowing I had to close the door and let my son continue to grow even though all I wanted to do was stay and do his laundry and clean his room and make sure his homework was done. But he didn’t want me to do any of those things. He wanted to do things in his own fashion. So I had to let go. To let him go. So he can learn and grow of his own accord. Not of mine.

Helping me to accept we need to change our scenery from time to time to broaden our own horizons. To allow ourselves to get out of our comfort zones and challenge ourselves so we can see what it is we want out of life and what we don’t. What we are capable of handling and what we aren’t. And that also means we have to allow our children to do the same.

But above all else we have to be authentic to who we are and what we like because in doing so we allow our children to develop into their authentic selves by seeing we are doing the same. And the more we expose them the better of they will be. As shall we. Grateful for experiencing and letting go. Grateful for being a mother and a wife and a woman who is always learning and experiencing, Namaste.

Good morning Sunshine!

Good morning sunshine!

We have had a glorious week in London. More sun than rain. Both metaphorically and physically. There have been so many positives we have experienced whilst being here. Great weather. Great restaurants. Great people. An atmosphere of abundance all around for all of us and it seems like most people this week have felt like they have so much to be grateful for. There are smiles all around. Great and contagious positive energy. I’m almost sad to leave this beautiful and diverse city.

It’s amazing how the weather, particularly the sun, can change our attitudes and outlook on life. Especially in a place where the sun does not shine often as can be the case here in London. People are outside walking, running, playing, relaxing in parks. Everyone seems to be outdoors enjoying the beautiful weather. Something we take for granted in Bermuda because we expect the sun more than we do the rain. Whereas here the sun is a treat and people take full advantage of it while it lasts.

Showing me the very things we take for granted are the very things that make the most difference to us. Like beautiful weather. Sunshine and moderate temperatures. Like waking up in the morning. Like being in a different place experiencing different cultures. Like meeting new people. Like new experiences. Like being kind to people and people being kind to us.

Reinforcing to me also that our attitudes are so important. People are attracted to us when we are genuinely open and receptive and kind. Not fake. We are driven by energy forces too complicated and invisible for us to measure but we always feel the vibes off people when we are near them so they are experiencing the same of us. Allowing like to attract like. Even complete strangers feel us before they know us and it is this feel that will allow them to either open to us or shut us down.

I found this to be the case in London while meeting people I have never met before and their reception to me. It has been a wonderful week here in London. Full of experiences that have helped me to grow as an individual. A week full of facing my fear multiple times a day getting on escalators and I did it. Made it and I am so proud of myself. Have I conquered it? No and I am not sure I ever truly will. Every time I have to step on an escalator I have to talk myself into doing it. Just take that first step I tell myself then hold on for the ride. A true lesson in life. Take the first step then hold on for the ride. And when we do so we always end up where we are meant to be not where we think we should be but where we are meant to be.

Thank you London for being so good to me and to my family. Thanks for the sunshine and the rain. The pleasant people. The great restaurants and the wonderful memories. So grateful. On to the next experience feeling so grateful for life and its rich tapestry. And for taking an active part in it. For being an ordinary person living an extraordinary life....

We are all here sharing this human experience

The more I meet people from around the world, the more I realise just how much we are all the same. Different experiences but deep down inside we are all the same. Looking for love. Trying to be love and receive love. Seeking affirmation of who we are and what we are.

And we all have stories about our lives. All have experiences that are common even though we live in different parts of the world and grew up with completely different parents and in completely different cultures. Yet sometimes our stories intersect such that we share a common bond. A common interest. Something that compels us to listen to each other’s stories so that we establish a connection.

And what I know is sometimes that connection, that bond is meant to last for a lifetime and in other instances it is fleeting. Just like an angel flitting in and out of our lives for a split second. To nudge us to be who we were sent here to be and to do what we were sent here to do. Then you get those who remain for a while but then the time for them to be in our lives is over. Their purpose done.

I love when I meet new people. People from different parts of the world. People that help to enlighten me about life and why I am here. Why we are here. And sometimes those meetings and connections come from the least expected places and from the least expected people. Sometimes we can establish a bond with a complete stranger. Someone who walks into our lives to help us with a need at that moment so we may learn a lesson we were meant to learn. And though their meeting is by chance, their message stays with us for a lifetime. I call those meetings touched by an angel. And I hold them close to my heart.

Or sometimes that person just comes to lighten our load. To allow us to know we are never alone when we ask the Universe for guidance. That we are interconnected. And when that person is sent to us we always know. At least I always know from the sensation that runs through me. That feeling of familiarity and connection even though I may not understand the reason at the time. But I always know.

Being here in London has reinforced for me that people come and go in our lives to help us to understand we are who we are and what we are. And when we connect there is a reason. A Universal bond that is meant to help us to understand we are all bridge builders in our human race. Here to help each other to be better people. To learn that no matter where we come from or what we look like we are all here sharing this human experience together. To know there is no such thing as a chance meeting. That people who come into our lives and even those who leave were sent specifically for us to understand we are a part of a much bigger plan. A Universal plan.  And for this lesson and blessing I am truly grateful. Namaste.