In reverence to two tall palms

There are two palms

Tall and majestic

Outside my bathroom window

Across the way

Just close enough for me to see them

Not touch them

But feel them

Their energy pouring into my soul

Their essence connecting me back

To the Source

The One Source

That is them

That is me

That is us

I watch them swaying in the breeze

Dancing rhythmically

From side to side

Gracefully

Gently

Poetically

I watch them as the sun sets

Radiant light behind them

Casting hues of orange

Red

Autumn

Endings

I watch them in the morning

When the night is giving way to the dawn

The light behind them

Casting hues of black

Blue

White

Beginnings

I watch them swaying

Gently

Poetically

Majestically

As if nothing can touch them

Nothing can hurt them

I watch them adjusting to the weather

No matter what

Their fronds waving up and down

Side to side

Their trunks hard and strong

Flexing

Swaying

Wondering how they can be hard to touch

Difficult to move

Yet rock poetically in the breeze

Stand up to any weather

But have such delicately thin trunks

I wonder what they know

What they have seen

How they don’t snap

From the weight of their tops

I watch the two palms

Across the way

Whenever I can

Because they remind me

Of how life existed before I came

And will continue once I am gone

And like them

I must learn to stand tall and firm

Despite my delicate frame

To sway and rock

When the wind blows

When trouble brews

To remember always

Life goes on

And I must live it

For as long as I can

So

I watch the two palms

Across the way

As much as I can

Because they root me

In the now

The present

Connecting me back

To the Source

The Oneness

That is them

That is me

That is us
That is all

Namaste

In ode to Angelina Jolie

Yesterday Angelina Jolie posted an article in the New York Times declaring that she had had a double mastectomy because she had been tested for the cancer gene and discovered she had an 87% chance of developing breast cancer. So she decided she wanted to lessen her chance of developing breast cancer by removing both her breasts. The reason she chose to do so was so she could minimize the possibility that she would die prematurely and leave behind her young family.

Her decision was also driven by the fact that she had lost her mother, who was only 56 at the time of her death, to ovarian cancer and she wanted to spare her children from that pain if she could.

From one Motherless daughter to another, I totally got what she is trying to do. The death of a mother before we were expecting them to go is one of the most crushing experiences any child could ever face. And those of us who are Motherless daughters would do anything to minimize the possibility our children could suffer the same fate. There is nothing like the love of a mother. Nothing like the security of a mother. Nothing like the support of a mother. And to lose that as a child leaves scars that never go away. I know for I am one of those children.

My mother died from a cerebral brain hemorrhage as a result of a stroke in 1976. In 1976 there was not much information in the public domain about strokes and how they could be prevented. No one really talked about illnesses at all back then.

Had my mother lived in our present times, chances are that her risk of having such a severe stroke would be minimized because there are ways that she could have been tested for the possibility of having  a stroke. And I believe because of the person she was, she would have done what she could so she could be with us today. How I wish she was in our modern day and she was still here with me. How I wish I knew she did everything she could to still be in my life today.

So to read Angelina’s story and to hear that she made the ultimate sacrifice to hopefully prolong her life to be with her children, I felt a deep sense of understanding and love for her and for her family. Knowing if I faced the same choice as she did, I would do the same thing. Anything to spare my children from losing me prematurely to a disease I could fight if I knew I was susceptible to it.

Doing what she did does not prevent her from being struck down by an accident or some other illness she may not know about if it is in the Divine Plan for her children to be motherless. However what she did for her children by having her double mastectomy was to let them know how deep and profound her love for them is. So no matter what happens to her from here on out, they will know their mother did whatever she could to be their mother for as long as she is meant to be. She declared her love for them by trying to minimize her chances of dying prematurely by removing both her breasts.

And then she went a step further. After all was said and done, she decided to come forward and tell her story so that women around the world who are contemplating the same fate, who had had double mastectomies, who are battling breast cancer could know that cancer is a nondiscriminating disease. No matter how much wealth and notoriety one may have, cancer can still strike. By telling her story, Angelina Jolie became just like every other woman in the world with the cancer gene. She was no longer an untouchable. She became human and vulnerable just like the rest of us.

She raised the awareness of the disease to allow people to know they are not alone in their struggle. She also brought to light the fact that there is a blood test that many who may be predisposed to the cancer gene could have to see what their chances are of developing cancer. Allowing them the opportunity to make the decision about whether to have the test done firstly. And then secondly to decide whether they want to live their lives with the disease or to try to minimize their chances of developing full blown cancer by taking preventative measures.

I have always admired Angelina Jolie and now I do even more so because she is a woman who uses her influence to change the way we perceive ourselves and the world. And more than that she is an awesome mother who will do all she can to be with her children for as long as she can. May she live for as long as she can to be with her family for as long as she can. 

In gratitude to Angelina for sharing her story and for possibly saving someone's life and for possibility sparing other children from becoming Motherless children too soon.

Stormy weather

Stormy weather really stirs the soul. So many of us were feeling heavy yesterday. Like there was a weight on our shoulders. Many of us exhausted. Like we were carrying too much of a burden. Some complained of headaches.

I attribute it to the weather. The heaviness of the air. Humidity sky rocketed. Leaving the air damp. Muggy. Oppressive. The perfect conditions for stormy weather. When the hot air meets the cold and creates such tension that in order to balance, they must explode first. Bursting into violent thunderstorms and torrential rain.

By the time the thunderstorms came through this morning, I was more than ready for them. Craved them actually so that the air could be cooled. To relieve the tension in the atmosphere. Making way for calmness to return. I was woken out of my sleep at about 3.58 this morning by a loud noise. Didn't quite know what it was but as I looked round the room to see, lightning flashed outside.

Almost as if the Universe was waking me to see the beginning of the storm that had been threatening to come all along. I waited for the thunder after that. Waited to see if it was my imagination when I saw that flash. And sure enough a few minutes later the thunder rolled through. Letting me know it was not my imagination. And then the resident toad that has moved into our emptied pool started to really sing. Happy that the rain had come again. Croaking to his heart's content.

Shortly thereafter the rain grew so torrential that it sounded like a dam had burst. The rain sounding like it wanted to break through the roof and wash away anything that tried to obstruct its path. It was so loud that it drowned out the sound of our resident toad. An eerie silence of anything but the pouring rain. Until the lightning and thunder crashed again.

The lightning becoming more violent. The thunder more threatening. The storm obviously drawing closer as the thunder was following almost immediately behind the lightning. My daughter waking in terror from the sound of the booming thunder. And the lashing of the torrential downpours.  I closed my eyes trying to lessen the effect of the lightning on my eyes. Blocked my ears trying to quiet the thunder. But the thunderstorm was not relenting. The lightning still flashing before my closed eyes. The thunder still audible through my blocked ears.

My daughter clinging to me. And then I decided to not hide from the storm. To not fear the storm but to embrace it. To welcome it knowing it was to cool the tension in the air. So I opened my eyes. Unblocked my ears. And watched the storm. Listened to the pouring rain. Feeling the air cooling. Feeling the relief from nature that the tension was being cut. Feeling relief pouring through me that I had surrendered to the storm rather than resisting it.

And then just like that it was all over. The rain stopping. The thunder and lightning gone. The air immediately relieved. Teaching me no matter how dark it gets. No matter how stormy it may seem. When the time is right that darkness and storm will pass making way for freshness and light to come back in. As it is doing before my eyes this morning.

Stormy weather is always a precursor to the calm. Because stormy weather is sent to clear the tension and heat and bring us relief. Stirring the Universal soul and at the same time us before bringing us back to a place of peace and calm. Balancing our equilibrium. Relieving our burdens and tension. Bringing forth the sound of silence once again. Only now we can hear and appreciate the sound of silence. Aah…

Growing old is a privilege

Growing old is a privilege. Why do we have to be given a death sentence to truly start living?

These are two lines from one of my favorite series on TV, The Big C. I love this show because it is about life and death. The reality of life and death. The reality of a family struggling to come to terms with the fact that the center of their family. The nucleus of their family has been diagnosed with a terminal illness and she is going to die one day.

It’s about acceptance and denial. About love and living. Death and grief. And I believe Laura Linney is excellent as the main character Cathy. The drama that unfolds on the show is often hidden behind humor because death is something that is so very hard for us all to accept. So the show portrays dealing with death through humor so we can be eased into it. I believe they do this to help us to accept the finality of death because in a warped way we believe we can beat it. Cheat it. That it will somehow pass us by.

But if there is one thing we are guaranteed to do, it is to die. We are dying every single day of our lives. Each day we wake up living and breathing is a privilege we take for granted. Instead some of us complain when we see our bodies changing. Complain about growing old.  Rather than embracing the fact that we have lived long enough to see our bodies changing. To grow old.

There are so many people who would have loved to have seen their bodies changing but because they were struck down with a terminal illness. Killed in a random attack. Murdered in a senseless way. Killed in a horrible accident. Or taken their own lives because life became too much for them to bear. They never had the privilege of growing old. Of changing.

Leaving behind those of us to pick up and mend the broken pieces.  Reminding  those of us who remain, to look at life as a gift. A treasure. A present from the Universe to make that decision that could change our lives forever. To help us to finally understand and accept that we are the privileged ones who have one more minute to make that change. One more minute to breathe and appreciate the abundance in our lives just by breathing. Just by waking up. Just by being present. Grateful.

To those of us privileged ones, we don’t have to wait to be given a death sentence to appreciate the lives we have. The lives we could be living. The lives we are living. Have lived and will live. When we understand we are the privileged ones, we appreciate every aspect of our lives – the good and the bad, the dark and the light, the joy and the sadness. Because we know we are still alive and well when we are experiencing these emotions. We know we have been given more time to be present in our lives. To enjoy the rollercoaster ride of life.

Today is Monday, the beginning of a whole new work week for the majority of us. The beginning of a whole new beginning and I am so looking forward to taking advantage of waking up this morning and beginning a whole new beginning. Of really living my life and appreciating all I have. Appreciating every breath I take.  Because there are so many who did not have this privilege today. So many and to them I say rest in  peace and thanks for reminding me just how short life really is. For reminding me how I must live my life as long and as wide as I possibly can.

Remembering always growing old is a privilege. And I don’t have to be given a death sentence to truly live my life. Because I know every day I am getting closer to the end of my life so I am going to live and love every single moment that I am alive. Enjoying the present of being present in every aspect of my life. Namaste.

We choose to live in places that most reflect our state of mind

Oh what a beautiful morning. Oh what a beautiful day. Isn't it amazing how much light can make a difference to our outlook almost immediately particularly after a long period of darkness. We have had very dark weather of late and many of us have been dragging but as soon as there is sunshine we all come alive again.

Waking up this morning to the sunlight pouring through the windows immediately made me feel like I could do anything. Be anything. Because I was filled with such joy and possibility. 

So I started thinking about the effect of light on my life and realized that when we have light all the time we take it for granted and don’t really appreciate it. It’s only after not seeing it for long periods of time that we appreciate it. And that’s why we have weather I believe.

Weather is reflective of the ups and downs we face. We live in places that are the most beneficial for our growth. We choose places that best reflect our state of mind and growth by the weather they have. People that live in tropical places such as my island home Bermuda are here because most of the time we are full of love and light but when the darkness comes it brings forth our darkest traits to help us to tap into our demons and release them when the light comes back again.

Those that choose to live in rainy and dreary places have a much steeper learning curve because they are tested more to find their joy because of the constant darkness. This is my hypothesis only. We are all at different stages of our growth. And I do believe that deep down inside it has something to do with the places we choose to live. Good weather helps us to find our joy much easier than dreary and dark weather.

I am going to glory in this day. Taking in the rays of sunshine for as long as I can. This morning my family is taking part in the Keep Bermuda Beautiful Campaign where we are going to clean up our street. Picking up the trash that others have discarded. Returning our street back to the beautiful one it is all while having the opportunity to bask in the sunshine. Listen to the birds chirping. Inhale the fresh air. And seeing the array of beautiful flowers that are out for Spring. All while sharing family time of giving back to our community outside in nature on a beautiful sunny Saturday morning. Who could ask for anymore?

Enjoy this beautiful Saturday. Another day of being blessed to be breathing and living and having the opportunity to  make our dreams come true. 

When I wake in the morning

In the morning when I wake

There is silence

Reverence

And grace

In the morning when I wake

I inhale the promise of the new day

The lessons from the day before

Ensconced in my mind

Preparing me for this new day

Helping me

Guiding me

Teaching me

Of what not to do

And what to do

In the morning when I wake

I listen

Listen for the waking of nature

The call of what is to come

And then I hear the sound

The call of the Cardinal

The red bird

Tweet tweet tweet

And I feel the promise of the new day

The call of nature

The sound of all that is

And ever will be

I feel the touch of nature

Race through my being

Freeing all that is trying to bind me

Releasing me from the chains of my limitation

Allowing me to soar

Outside the box

Outside the lines society tries to draw around me

Instead

I connect with the power of the more

Of the all

Of the infinite

Schooling me

Willing me

To remember there is more than enough

Abundance in this world

Our world

If we are brave enough

To ask for it

To channel what we truly want and came here to be

And then I surrender to the sound of the morning

Silence

Until I hear it again

The call of the cardinal

The red bird

Until

I am full

Full of possibility

Full of the more

And then I notice his call has changed

As I have

To a more joyful sound

To a more delicate tune

Twirling

Like a pattern

Of an infinite swirl

Round and round

Connecting me to the cardinal

To the trees

To the flowers

To the soil

To the earth

Grounding me

In the present

To go out into the world

Our world

As a being of

Love of light

Possibility and presence

When I wake in the morning

Full of reverence

Abundance

And grace

The game of shifting my intentions

Lately I have been playing a game with myself. When I wake up in the morning and feel heavy and tired and frustrated, I tell myself to be grateful I woke up. To be happy to see another day. To be cheerful about all I have and had and am about to experience. To smile instead of frowning. And to my surprise it works like a charm every single time. Proving to me the power of intention. The power we have to shift the way we respond to our circumstances.

Discovering this gift has freed me from unnecessary turmoil and pain. From unnecessary darkness and given me the ability to tap into the light whenever I remember the power of intention.  So I am carrying this gift with me daily now and using it to the extent I am capable of. Recognising that some days I will be more in tuned than others based on where I am. Not beating myself up when I am overwhelmed. Instead thanking the Universe for the depth and breadth of my emotions.

 And because I have been so conscious of my thought process, of defining the way I will be for the day, I have noticed that most people like to feel downtrodden, overwhelmed and frustrated. Some people like to moan about where they are in life. Some people are looking at the glass as half empty rather than a half full. And one by one as I encounter people who are doing this, I ask them what if you did not have a job. Think about the people who don’t.

What if you did not wake up this morning? Think about the people that didn't  Think about their families and how they are feeling.

What if you did not have any food to eat? Think about the people that don’t.

What if you had no place to call home? Think about the people that don’t.

There is so much to be grateful for in our lives and it starts with the little things. Opening our hearts to the vastness of the more that surrounds us every day. Gratitude grounds us to the reality of how magical it is that we can go to bed at night and sleep for 5 – 10 hours or whatever amounts of time we can sleep for then wake up the next morning. Allowing us to see that sleeping and waking up in the morning are miracles within themselves and we do it every single night and day - until we don’t.

The power of defining who we are by using the simple words I am is amazing. This morning I was really tired because I have been going nonstop and all I wanted to do was to stay in bed and sleep the day away. But I knew I could not and I was about to allow the darkness to creep in. About to feel sorry for myself when I decided instead to play my game with myself. Telling myself I am grateful for waking up this morning. I am grateful for another day to live my life. To fulfill my dreams. To see my children and husband for another day. I am grateful for being me. And then I closed my eyes and allowed the feeling of satisfaction to spread through me. Joy spreading through my whole being. Gratitude from head to toe and back again.

A smile crept across my face as my mind, body and spirit connected. Shifting  my  mindset. Taking in the full power of owning who I am and being grateful for it as well.

Try it today when all feels dark. Trying shifting your consciousness to the power of intention. Of embracing I am wonderful. I am grateful. I am all that I am because I am he is she is it is all. Namaste.