Spreading the spark through TEDx and Eric Handler

If you have never experienced TEDx, it is a site well worth following and watching.  According to the website, “TEDx was created in the spirit of TED's mission, "ideas worth spreading." The program is designed to give communities, organizations and individuals the opportunity to stimulate dialogue through TED-like experiences at the local level.

At TEDx events, a screening of TEDTalks videos -- or a combination of live presenters and TEDTalks videos -- sparks deep conversation and connections. TEDx events are fully planned and coordinated independently, on a community-by-community basis.”

This morning I watched the TEDx link for Eric Handler who has started a movement called Positively Positive –you can find it on Facebook and he has just joined Twitter. It was a very moving story about how and why he started Positively Positive. It was all based on one day seeing how stale his life had become once he really watched how vivaciously his children live life. He felt he had lost his spark and looked around at the people that were there who he felt had lost their sparks as well. He questioned what happens to us between childhood and adulthood. He questioned how we lose the spark. And then he looked up and saw a sign that said, “Attitude is everything.”

He knew instantly he had to adjust his outlook on life. He realised with certainty that there are three phases to life.  The beginning (birth). The middle (life). And the end (death). We are born and we die. There is birth and there is death. Those are our only certainties. The middle phase the phase between birth and death is where we all are at the moment and it is called Living. Yet very few of us really live. Really explore our lives and possibility. So many of us fail to stay in the present moment where we focus on what is right in front of us. Instead we are either projecting into the future – worrying about what is to come. Or living in the past – worrying about what has been. It is for these reasons that we lose the spark. We don’t see the joy right in front of faces because we are too consumed with what isn’t.

If we could be like children and be our spark by living in the present moment, we could increase our joy exponentially. We also need to find those sparks in our lives and invite them in, embrace them, then share and spread that spark with whomever else is open to receive. Imagine the world of peace, love and joy we would have. Close your eyes and feel your spark and magic. Now open them and spread it.

Because as told by Eric Handler reciting the Dalai Lama, “Man surprised (me) because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present. The result being that he does not live in the present or the future, he lives as if he is never going to die. And then he dies having never really lived.”

We all need to live life not worrying about what is to come or what was because then we will miss the beauty, abundance, love, light and peace that is right in front of us if only we remained in the present moment. Happy Sunday everyone. Let’s practise today living in the moment and capturing our spark then spreading it.

Thoughts and abundance

Yesterday morning I had so many thoughts swirling through my mind that I decided I to lose myself in nature to remind myself of who I am. I walked from my house to Elbow Beach. Walked slowly along the beach. Taking deep breaths. Listening to the crushing sounds of the ocean. Stopping and looking out over the ocean. Realising again that the world is really an abundant place with enough abundance for us all to share as I looked out over the horizon.  Seeing no end.  I started snapping pictures to try to capture the beauty I was witnessing. And I exhaled.

Seeing footprints in the sand wondering how different their path was to mine. Knowing there are those who have walked before me and those who come after me. Hoping mine would be prints of purpose and love. I snapped a photo of the footprints and walked on. Feeling strength growing with every step. Love and wonder. I inhaled and exhaled. 

I walked up the hill past the hotel feeling like I was in paradise as I watched the palm trees gently swaying in the breeze. As I saw the colour green as vividly and as lushly as I could remember.  I snapped  pictures trying to capture the utopia I was experiencing. And I exhaled again.

I walked along the road surprised by many of the wonders I take for granted – the garden that grows behind the bus stop. Providing an oasis in the midst of the daily grind. I snapped a picture of it as well so I wouldn’t forget it. Again I exhaled.

I turned into the old railway trail where once again I was removed from modern trappings. Taking a step back in time as I was enveloped by trees on either side and in some places providing a canopy over my head. Snuffing out the light. I inhaled deeply and walked through listening to the sound of the trees and leaves rustling in the breeze. Almost like they were whispering secrets to each other. I wondered what stories they could tell about all they have seen. I snapped more pictures. And I exhaled.

Then as I was almost at the end of the trail I came upon a solitary bench near a tree facing a memorial park for a young lady that had been brutally murdered in Bermuda many years ago. Shocking our community. I snapped a picture of that bench because there it stood in the midst of nature. Empty. But with purpose. Strong, yet inviting. And I realised that sometimes we will have to face life all alone with only our inner strength to carry us through but if we stand strong and remain true to ourselves the darkness will always turn to light and we will be okay. I inhaled the knowingness and exhaled the unknowingness. And I felt lighter. Richer. Full of love.

I walked out of the trail onto the main road leading back to my home and realised that when I first started my walk my mind was so clogged with thoughts I hadn’t even seen the beauty that was right in front of my face. I live on a tree lined street that invites you in like you are in a fairy tale. A place that if you want to believe in magic and fairies and possibility, you can because they have a place to be. It was then I knew that I live in paradise. I need to remember where I am even when I am going through hell because as Winston Churchill said, "if you are in hell, keep going". And in my case knowing I am surrounded by heaven all the time, I now understand hell is only a temporary state of being. Heaven, Paradise, Utopia are always if I open my eyes, heart and soul to them. And I exhaled for a long and peaceful time as I felt my mind, body and soul being embraced by love and light.

And for the blessings of nature I am truly grateful. Namaste.

Tasting the hands of defeat allows us to become resilient

“You do not become strong until you have tasted the hands of defeat, for out of the ashes comes a soul resilient to the harshness of life.”

This quote is dedicated to those of us who are feeling like we are being tested beyond what we thought we could handle. We all have the ability to withstand the harshness of life. However there are only some of us who believe we can and as a consequence we are tested over and over again. And the reason we are is to allow us to go out into the world as teachers, always knowing we are the student as well because in life the lessons are constantly being taught to help us to become better people.

Life can be every harsh sometimes but if we close our eyes and tell ourselves even the hands of defeat shall pass and imagine what our lives will be like once they have passed  then we will free ourselves from the struggle and we will just go with it. Resisting the challenge, trying to force a solution, or pretending like the challenge/lesson is not there will only prolong its duration. Looking it in the face and learning the lesson it presents is the way forward.

Our inner strength is stronger than any physical strength we could ever have because it is our inner strength that determines our outlook on life. It is this strength that will allow us to weather any storm. It is our ability to cope with whatever or whomever comes our way.

Without inner strength, we would not be able to become resilient to the harshness of life. Defeat, hardships and disappointment are all stripes earned when we rise above them, leaving the ashes of their remains scattered about us as we slowly rise to claim the strong person we are. Spreading our wings like the Phoenix and soaring to heights only we, the strong, can see.

Children are mirrors of who we are meant to be

When I picked my children up from school the other afternoon I apologised to them both for snapping at them in the morning. And to my relief they had forgotten all about the morning and instead had forgiven me the moment I drove off. An invaluable lesson in staying in the flow and letting go of the past. A reminder as seen through children’s eyes, we are reborn not just every day but every second, every minute, every hour of the day.

We can choose to hold on to anger, frustration, anxiety if we like but all that does is cause resentment and resentment seeps into our souls like dark tendrils invading all of our places of joy and replacing them with negative energy. It is so easy for us to accept the negative because as Marianne Williamson says, “It is not our darkness we are afraid of, it is our light.”

When we see the light there is nothing obscuring our vision and it becomes up to all of us to pave our way forth and sometimes that’s hard to do. It's much easier to blame someone or something else for our shortcomings than to accept we are responsible for them. Confronting our own darkness can be frightening because it takes a lot of strength and self confidence to admit we need to work on certain aspects of ourselves. It takes strength and will to know that we are the reason why we are in the position we are, no one or nothing can make us feel the way we do. Only we can.

That's why children are always growing, exploring, dreaming because they have no real perception of the past and they rarely think of the future. They are present moment beings because they embrace life. We as adults can learn so much from our children because they are the mirrors of who we are meant to be. Children are there to remind us everyday just by being themselves of how free life can be. How free we can be because they just keep moving forward. And so can we.

Don't swim against the tide

Yesterday morning I sat in front of Hamilton Harbour. The water was very dark with white caps and lots of chop. It mirrored my mood when I first got there, choppy, dark because I am feeling so overwhelmed with everything. Trying to do too much, fit in too much. Be too much. Complete too much because I am about to embark on another Chapter in my life and time feels like it is running out for me to do all the times I was meant to do with this current phase in my life.

As a result of the stress I have put on myself because I can't tell anyone no. Because I am feeling vulnerable. Because my head is spinning, I shouted at my children on the way to school. I had no patience with them because I have no patience with myself right now. I dropped them off and as I was driving away all I wanted to do was to turn the car round and go back to hug them one more time to tell them I was sorry but I couldn't. And I knew they would be embarrassed beyond words if their mother turned up saying she wanted to hug them so I kept driving with heavy heart.

I sat in the parking lot in front of the harbour watching the waves and the white caps. Watching the ferries come and go. Watching the bird opportunistically diving in and out of the water trying to catch an unsuspecting fish. As I watched the harbour and the waves I felt the tension start to seep out of my body. It was so serene and soothing to just take a moment to catch my breath. To watch the sun shine for a minute then be obscured by the clouds. The sense of peace that washed over me was just what I needed. I inhaled and exhaled several times taking in the beauty of the place I live in. Expressing the gratitude I felt at that moment for having the wisdom to know I needed to just stop for a moment. To reflect.

And once my mind became silent and the chatter ceased and my heart rate slowed down, I realised why water has been more prominent in my life this week. The ocean which surrounds me every day but I sometimes don’t even see it, is trying to tell me to swim with the tide. Don't try to swim against it. Just go with the flow and when the tide subsides I will be able to swim wherever it is I need to go without effort. It was saying to me with its own movements, just stay in the flow and everything will be okay.

And for this lesson I am truly grateful.

Seeing the circle of life through the ocean

It was a picture perfect day yesterday. Sun shining. Humidity low. Air still. I came home after dropping the children of and asked my husband if he wanted to walk with me. He decided on Elbow Beach. We got to the beach, one of the most beautiful beaches in the world and I was aghast. The beach did not look so beautiful because Sargasso has washed ashore and is covering a large portion of the beach. And at first all I could see was the ugliness. The flies. The messiness.

But as we started walking and I felt the sunshine on my face warming my whole body, a feeling of peace washed over me. I removed my jacket which is amazing because it is January to inhale the freshness of the air, the smell of the Sargasso. The smell of the ocean. And then I was able to see beyond the ugliness. The sound of the ocean began to soothe me. To relax me. The waves crashing over the reef making them look like humpback whales frolicking in the waves. The motion of the ocean rhythmic to my ears as the waves washed in and out. Sometimes gently other times with force. The azure blue mixed with turquoise and other shades of blue that are almost indescribable. The scenery was breathtaking. The moment surreal. Sargasso and all.

I watched the water for quite some time feeling so small, so insignificant at the expanse of the ocean compared to the limited amount of land Bermuda has and shivered. I realised if the ocean wanted to, it could swallow us whole and not even notice. Fear rippled through my body as the vulnerability of living on a tiny island in the middle of the North Atlantic took over. The fear turned into memories forcing me to smile as I thought how different I felt when I was a young girl. I thought about how I used to look out at the ocean and its vastness and all I could see was infinity. I used to dream about what other people on other lands were doing. I used to imagine them watching the moon as I did at night and wondered what they thought. The vastness of the ocean didn’t make me feel insignificant then. Instead it used to make me feel free - like there was nothing boxing me in. Like there was a whole world out there waiting for me.

 When I was young I believed there was space for everyone. But now life has taught me the dangers of the ocean and I do not look at it with the same abandonment I did when I was young. Now I look at it with reverence because it moves side by side with my little island bringing in the Sargasso to nourish the beaches, to allow the sand to rebuild after hurricanes and storms, to give the tiny sea creatures the time to thrive, tiny crabs and other tiny creatures I could not identify.

I exhaled long and hard when I realised I was witnessing the circle of life through the ocean. The Sargasso there to replenish the sand. The water sending it in. Ugliness yielding beauty if we look beyond it. Thoughts of my childhood floating in. Visions of my adult life circling through. Everything and everyone, the ugly and the beautiful has its place in this circle of life.  Even when I move beyond this plane, the ocean will still do what it does and so will the Sargasso. We are all intertwined, one in the same, of the same cloth. Living, breathing, growing, exploring, changing all through the circle of life. 

We bought a zoo a must see movie

If you would like to see a good old fashioned family movie, I highly recommend going to see , “We bought a Zoo”. It is one of the best movies I have seen in a long time.  My family went yesterday afternoon at the suggestion of my daughter and I am so glad we did. The time went by really quickly in the movie because at all times I was on edge rooting for everything to work out for a family broken by a tragedy desperately trying to put the pieces back together.

I saw in the movie aspects of my life. I could totally relate to the son because he was about the same age as I was when my mother died and his actions spoke louder than his words because he could not find the words to express how he was feeling. He was, as I was, on the cusp of puberty trying to figure out who we were when suddenly everything we considered to be safe was stripped out from under us before we could blink. He descended into a dark world where there was “no sun “as he said because when a tragedy occurs particularly someone who anchors the family it does feel as if there is any sun on you for quite some time.

The little girl so sunny and bright in the movie became the glue, the purpose that held the family together because she still believed in magic at her age. She moved on in her own magical way trying to make sure her family stayed together.

The father completely lost because he had to ground himself from being the adventure junky that he was travelling the world to find the next thing that would force his pulse to quicken before his wife died. After her death, he had to come down to earth and face the reality of being a single parent and what that meant. He also had to learn to communicate with his family again.

The way the story plays out, I won’t give away the end because you have to see the movie, shows that life in its everyday form is full of adventure and discovery when we face it head on. We don’t need to be in an airplane doing flips or bungee jumping thousands of feet to feel our pulses rush, all we need is 20 seconds to do something that we’ve always wanted to do and when we do the results are amazing.